I just got the second worst panic attack of my life. I was thinking of how odd I felt, then when I got in the subway station, the heights and the what if’s got to me. My head felt so spacey and weird. So I’m focusing on it, already anxious. I was and am SO sleepy. I’m not sure why.. but I’m scared.
So I get off the train and my vision got distorted (blurry, issues focusing) and I realized I was hyperventilating. I had to sit down. Legit thought I was gonna faint. Made it outside, vision was distorted so I freaked out and had to sit. The more I thought the more I freaked out. So I took an Uber 3 minutes to work. I felt so weak (mentally)
Got to work and ate - I’m sitting and it’s amazing how nobody can tell when you’re like this. I want to cry and wish I was home. I need to seriously keep going!!! I go home tomorrow. I can do this!!! I cannot let the agoraphobia win.