There really is no cure for anxiety so please stop looking for it. There is no cure for anxiety because it isn’t a disease. If this makes you feel anxious then this is as good a time as any to start on your journey to recovery. Let me explain.
Anxiety is part of our human nature. If it wasn’t for anxiety, the human race would have become extinct along time ago. It is the ultimate self-protection system ever built.
It heightens your senses in such a way that it prepares you to fight whatever is threatening you or to flee the scene as quickly as possible. It’s an automatic response measured in nano seconds. You just react without thinking, like jumping out the way of an oncoming car.
All of the symptoms people describe are nothing more than the result of the adrenalin that the human body produces because it thinks it is in danger. It thinks it is in danger because you are telling it is. It is acting just the way it is supposed to act.
If you are healthy, why do you suffer? You suffer because you don’t see the immediate threat (there isn’t one) so you set off in search of the threat and invent one (or more) in your mind. Hey presto! Fears are created out of thin air. Whether its your physical symptoms, your thoughts or some seemingly unsolvable problem. In an anxious state, the brain is a master at creating false fears that are causing your anxiety. It stands to reason. If you have anxiety, you think anxious thoughts. Your brain keeps doing this because you hate or have an intense dislike to the way you are thinking and/or feeling. You hate it so much, you want to stop feeling it now and take action to try to stop yourself feeling that way. You hate it because it scares you which is ironic because anxiety is designed to scare you! That’s its job and it’s very good at protecting us from danger. That’s why we humans are still kicking about on this planet. It’s just got a little trigger happy, that’s all. It’s been overused to the extent that the smallest thing or sensation can now set it off. All self inflicted, albeit unwittingly. You’ve been conned into it.
The truth is that you have become scared of yourself. There is nothing else. You have become scared of the effects of adrenaline. You have become scared of the very thing that is trying to protect you. You fear the feelings of fear which.......produces more adrenalin, more fear, and so the cycle goes on and on.
What is it protecting you from? Who knows? More importantly, who cares? Human emotions are not an exact science. Everyone has different trigger points. We are all scared of different things and the brain is designed to protect and keep you safe from those perceived threats. We all have certain fears. Many people are scared of rats, creepy crawlies etc. Can you remember the last time you felt fearful because you thought you saw a rat or a spider scurrying along when in fact, it was just a leaf being blown by the wind. The feelings of fear melt away and you stop thinking about it. Now imagine seeing that rat or spider all the time. This is what is happening to you. You have become afraid of your own fear and as it is something you carry with you all of the time. There is no way you can escape it, unless you overcome your fear of rats/spiders which is entirely possible.
The automatic reaction is to fight back or run away or freeze in fear (playing dead if you perceive the threat to be bigger and faster than you). Keeping with the rat analogy, you will probably run a mile and avoid going back. If you take this course of action, you will never overcome your fear. Those who constantly seek advice or reassurance about their anxiety symptoms are attempting to do something to stop themselves from feeling it. They are trying to avoid it, trying to run away from it.
When I read some of the posts on here, I want to shout at you to stop doing it, stop running away from it and to leave it alone! You have taught yourself to be afraid of your own shadow and has become habit. It is as simple as that. Believe me. I am not judging or criticising anyone for doing it because I did the very same things for a long time until I learnt how to cope with the symptoms the right way.
What is the right way? The right way to recover from anxiety or any other fear based disorder is to “do” nothing. Zero. Zilch.
Going back to the rat (they get a lot of bad press), the moment you realised that it was just a leaf, your fear subsided but you had to go towards the source of that fear to see that it is just a leaf. You can’t do that if you are running in the opposite direction or covering your eyes in fear.
It is more difficult to understand how to move towards an emotion than it is to move towards a physical object that scares you which is where acceptance comes in. Acceptance doesn’t mean not to be afraid, not to feel anxious. On the contrary, without feeling anxiety you couldn’t possibly ever accept. The anxiety has to be there so the brain can learn to switch it off. Acceptance means being with your anxiety without being totally consumed by it. It’s about being comfortable about feeling very uncomfortable, creating a space between you and those thoughts and feelings, observing them with curiosity instead of fear, not fighting or resisting them or doing something about it. Acceptance means nothing more than surrendering to it all and waving that white flag. Nothing will happen to you. By not doing anything about it, you will begin to understand that those feelings and thoughts can’t harm you. The more you allow yourself to feel anxious and not do anything about it, the more you will understand that there is nothing to fear. The less fearful you become, the easier it is to accept those thoughts and feelings and to leave them alone. You may even see glimpses of your old self when you just don’t have those thoughts and feelings. This is further proof that the symptoms you fear are created by anxiety and not reality.
Knowledge and understanding is the key to recovery. The passage of time takes care of the rest but you have to go through this process to see that there was never anything to fear in the first place. It’s a process with no quick wins or short cuts. You can’t cheat either. Your brain only learns that there is no danger when you are in the midst of the anxiety storm and not doing anything about it. It literally is a journey of self discovery. Discovering your old, but much wiser, self having trodden that path to recovery.
I spent quite some time fearing all kinds of things before the penny slowly dropped. That everything I feared was nothing more than me just fighting with myself, chasing my own tail. Worrying about stuff that was just a figment of an over anxious mind and not based in reality. I wasted so much time and energy creating this battle in my mind, a battle with myself and one that I could never win. Give up that fight.
In hindsight, this battle was the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t get me wrong, it is a terrible and awful experience but without it, I would not feel as strong, confident and humble as I feel today. How else can anyone become stronger if they have not felt weakness? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s bloomin’ true as well.
So, my advice is to stop doing anything to stop yourself feeling anxious. Stop trying to stop your thoughts coming. Stop trying to question ‘your setback’. Stop trying to figure out why you are feeling dizzy or disconnected to the outside world. Stop trying to avoid thoughts and feelings, situations or going places. Stop trying to run away, physically or mentally. Let yourself think and feel EVERYTHING and don’t shy away from any of it. This will allow your mind and body the time and space it needs to heal naturally because you are no longer adding fuel to the fire which will eventually die out by itself. You don’t have to “do” anything. The mind and body just fixes itself if you just let yourself go with the flow.
I only know too well how an anxious mind plays tricks by conjuring up all those fearful thoughts. They come uninvited and you are powerless to stop them so please don’t waste time and energy trying because that just makes it worse. As I have said in previous posts, it is the “trying” to do something about anxiety that keeps people stuck in the vicious cycle. Stop doing things about your anxiety and start doing things in your life instead. Make your life bigger than anxiety. Live your life as if you don’t have anxiety. Take your anxiety with you. Do normal stuff regardless of how you are feeling. Don’t put things off until you are feeling better. If my anxiety tried to stop me doing things, I did it anyway. It was tough but not impossible. I gradually learnt that the “messages” were just a symptom of anxiety and false. A by product. They didn’t define me. They were false but made the mistake in thinking they were true and then worrying/fearing even more, keeping that anxiety cycle spinning around. At first, I was probably faking acceptance until I made it but having read a couple of books about the subject I took a leap of faith and slowly learned to let go and not react by adding more fear. As time passed, I gradually lost my fear of the fearful thoughts and feelings, my interest in “it” waned and I gradually got my life back. All because I stopped trying to do anything about it.
What do you have to lose?
Written by
Beevee
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Thanks Jeff but i can’t take all the credit. You know that the content of the post is common knowledge amongst the many thousands (probably millions) of ordinary people who have been through the process and come out the other side, fully intact and all the better for the experience. I’m just passing on the same knowledge based upon my own experiences.
Anxiety sufferers just need to take that leap of faith and learn to let go. Anxiety doesn’t have a grip of them. They have a grip on their anxiety which is why letting go leads to recovery.
Beevee, the basis of what you write is long established but your development of the acceptance method and your outstanding way of expressing it is what makes your post something that should be essential reading in all the colleges of psychiatry in all the world.
Hi Beevee, it's me again. I'm just wondering how long it took you to know and accept this about anxiety. It took me 30 years to get where I'm at today. If only I knew sooner. With all the therapy I went through, you'd think this would have been said to me over and over, unless I just wasn't listening. Thanks again for taking the time to write that. I hope people take the time to read it, it will save them years of unnecessary suffering.
Thank you so much for this post, this made me cry because of how true it is! , my anxiety stops me from doing so much stuff & kept me from being happy because I would be scared to do anything because of my anxiety symptoms and fears , I hope I have the strength to let this anxiety go through me without stopping it , thank you for this post! It’s what I needed to hear!!💖
You do have that inner strength Brianna. Trust me on this. You just don’t realise it yet. The thoughts and feelings are harmless. It just takes a little time to see through the lies they spin. Lose your respect for them. They won’t be there when you recover so don’t waste time worrying about them because this just keeps the whole anxiety show going.
When you recover, put it on your CV because it will be the your biggest ever accomplishment by a long stretch! And the best thing is, once you know how to recover the right way, you don’t ever lose that knowledge.
Thank you again , I’m happy that you replied to me & wrote this , you really helped me take a big different look on my anxiety, made me cry thinking of all the pain and thoughts I’ve been putting my self in & being in this sad circle of bad thoughts, I really hope someday I can be strong as you are and helping others with the same thing . Thank you! God bless 💯❤️
I felt scared all day, every day for a long time but I just kept going, doing normal stuff, no matter how I felt. By reading up on anxiety, I knew what it was and how it affected me but I also learnt that it wouldn't be forever and would recover at some point in time and quit putting pressure on myself to recover. I just kept going. If I felt like crap, so what?. Normal feelings will return bit by bit if you carry on doing normal stuff, with or without anxiety. Your brain eventually gets the message that there is nothing to fear and any physical symptoms you might have will melt away. Don’t go searching for recovery. Recovery will come to you, all in good time.
I developed anxiety in 2010. Really struggled for 12 months or so not really knowing or understanding what was happening to me, taking medication, not taking medication. Then my wife’s friend lent me a book by Dr Claire Weekes. I then bought a more in-depth version, the moth eaten one I posted a picture of a little while back. I’m guessing it then took another 2 to 3 years to fully understand what it means to accept whilst practising at the same time. In the early days, I probably spent time worrying if I as doing it right before learning that it wasn’t something you do! It was about having a passive attitude towards the symptoms. It was then another 9-12 months before the symptoms disappeared one by one.
As I’ve always said, recovery time is different for everyone. Don’t add more pressure by thinking you have been suffering longer. It doesn’t matter. I held up my own recovery because I gave too much respect to fearful thoughts about my wife and job. I was convinced they were responsible for my anxiety so I worried a lot about them. It took a while to figure out that those beliefs were completely wrong and it was anxiety making me think and feel that way. To reach that point, I had to go through the process. I had to learn it myself. No amount of reading about it or being told about it would make any difference. I had to walk the walk, making plenty of mistakes along the way, no doubt.
I went to work every day feeling Uber stressed, I came home every day, feeling Uber stressed. No let up for a long time. In hindsight, I felt I turned a corner when I read a post from someone saying that nothing should be off limits and to think and feel everything and do nothing. And that’s what I did.
It’s now 2.30am here 😳 I’m sat in the house with next doors cat for company. Everyone else is in bed. All those scary thoughts I had about my relationship have gone. I appreciate my wife more than ever. I still have the same job. Its gets stressful sometimes but nowhere near the turbo charged levels magnified by my anxiety. Put it this way. I’m not worried about going to work on Monday. I’m not even thinking about it to be truthful. I’m just looking forward to chopping some wood in the back garden if it stays dry outside. Otherwise, I’ll go for a nice swim at the local pool.
There were thousands of other scary thoughts but those about my marriage and work scared me the most which is why they stuck around because I believed them. All the others I could let go.
You absolutely can Sarah. A little courage, if at first, is all you need. Like Beevee said, what do you have to lose? It’s all completely possible, providing you let it ALL happen without wanting it to go away. Learn to live with it, rather than wanting it to go and you’ll find over time recovery will be with you. The biggest healer is time, no time limit, just time itself , it doesn’t matter how long it takes. It’s worth it.
Oh it’s uncomfortable, no doubt. Makes you think it’s something more sinister, but it really isn’t. Whatever your symptom, I was convinced my brain fog / lightheadedness /mild depersonalisation was some serious medical problem that I was stuck with forever, but as my stress levels evened out over time, it lifted and my clarity was back. It comes off in layers.. so you’ll have moments of bliss and then bam, it hits you again. Instead of thinking ‘oh no, I’m back where I was again! I’m stuck this way forever’ it’s not true it comes off bit by bit so remembering that is key in recovery. Accept it all, accept feeling shit for the time being and put no limit on it. It isn’t forever I promise.
This thread is exactly what I needed to see I don't have a fun life any more because anxiety has took over I worry about everything any little thing ache pain I think the worst... My head feels cloudy...I start to fidget...I get a sudden fear that I'm going to pass out its really scary.. I don't think I have the strength to ignore those signs and just go as if its not happening its to the point to where I feel dizzy.. And noise makes it worse I just really want my life back
We can do this. I feel a lot like you about not having the strength to not worry about the negative thinking. It’s a vicious cycle. But I believe it can be done. Might take some time, but keep believing. I’m going to try and read this post every day to give me courage. Thanks Beevee.
Anyone can recover if they know that fighting the symptoms doesn’t work and has the opposite effect by keeping sufferers stuck in the cycle from which they are desparately trying to escape. It doesn’t take huge amounts of courage, it takes a change in attitude towards the symptoms. For example, change all those “what if?” questions crowding the mind into “So what?!” and move on with your day. The more you practice acceptance and letting those negative thoughts go without any form of resistance, the easier it becomes. Moments of clarity will make you see that it is anxiety making you think and feel that way and not reality. Those moments will eventually increase and bit by bit, the older but much wiser you will surface. The old you hasn’t gone forever, it is just buried beneath the symptoms and waiting to take centre stage. Don’t go searching for recovery, let recovery come to you. It will.
It’s not about trying your hardest to ignore it. That would be extremely difficult in my opinion. The key to recovery is not trying to do anything about it and letting the mind and body do what it wants to do and letting it do it without resisting in any way. It’s about being ok about not feeling ok and just going with the ebb and flow. In other words, shrug your shoulders and have the attitude that you carry on living your life regardless of how you feel. Bending like the willow tree in a storm, as Dr Claire Weekes described acceptance to cure yourself in her self help books which I thoroughly recommend 👍
There were plenty of days I felt that I could hardly cope with doing anything but just got on with it as best I could, knowing that sooner or later, I would feel better if I accepted that this was how things were going to be for a while and that anxiety was just a bluff. I didn’t put any pressure on myself to get better. It just happened, slowly but surely. The mind and body fixes itself. You don’t have to do anything apart from accept it all.
It takes practice. The more you understand how anxiety plays it’s tricks, the more adept you become at leaving it alone and getting on with life. Even when you are fully accepting the symptoms may still linger for a while but will be more of an annoyance than outright fear which is probably the stage you are at now. Rome wasn’t built in a day and recovery is not instant. Your mind and body has been battered through constant worry and hyper awareness of your physical and mental state. Just like a broken bone, Nature will take care of the healing process and through acceptance (not fighting) and learning that there is nothing to fear (fear is the root cause of anxiety) you are allowing the recovery process to happen. The whole recovery process is a journey which is very bumpy at times but peace of mind and body will eventually follow in due course.
Hi. It is an inspiring, positive post and makes total sense but it will work for some and not for others and think you need to be in the right place to start the process. It sounds like the theory behind D.B.T and yes it is a skill you have to try to stick with. I have had a lot of therapy over the years and understanding why i get anxious had helped me understand it. This has helped to a point. A lot of anxiety i have is around real physical problems to do with my physical health. I try to ride through these feelings but it doesn't always work. Letting yourself feel these feelings in everyday situations isn't always acceptable or easy, it's the world we live in...like crying in public places etc. Surely you need to try to hide some of these feelings so you can function in social situations or just to get through things you have to do. Times recently i have been distressed when out and about, embracing these feelings, letting go has left me crying outside, feeling stupid, people look at you. Maybe i need more practice is this. It just isn't as as simple as it sounds.
Very positive post but for some of us it's hard to hear. Xx
You’re right. It isn’t simple and does take practice. I think it is more akin to mindfulness. Letting the thoughts and feelings come but choosing not to do anything about them. Observing instead of getting involved. The common denominator of anxiety, ocd, agoraphobia, ptsd is fear or the fear of the feelings of fear. Overcome your fears and the symptoms (which you may fear) will abate. To overcome fear, you must face your fears...change your attitude towards them. The more you expose yourself to those fears, the more the brain learns that there is no threat and switches off the fight/flight response. For anxiety sufferers their fight flight response is set on high alert and triggered very easily and in situations where the response is grossly exaggerated. Anxiety magnifies all emotions ten fold which can be overwhelming. Acceptance allows the nervous system to desensitise and return to normal levels so that anxiety is appropriate for the circumstances I.e. not feeling distressed while out and about.
Had I listened to my anxious thoughts and feelings, I could so easily have become housebound, fearful of venturing outdoors. Having said that, I had no safety zone. I felt extremely anxious and distressed no matter what I did or where I went. I then discovered the books written by Dr Claire Weekes and applied her teachings. It took a while because, with hindsight, I wasn’t fully accepting. I still believed the intrusive thoughts which frightened me, adding more fear. Only by allowing myself to be frightened and carrying on regardless did I begin to see that those thoughts were false which made it easier to let them go. The more I let go and allowing my emotions, my body and my mind complete freedom to do anything, the more I recovered.
If you are able to change your attitude and embrace your fears, anxiety levels will diminish.
Hi. What you are describing in the basis of DBT, dialectical behaviour therapy developed my marsha linehan. It's about acceptance and change and yes some of this is mindfulness. Mindfulness in itself is really hard when you are in the grip of anxiety. As i said i began a course in this, it's one of the treatments for anxiety and borderline personality disorder. Some people work well with this, some don't. Acceptance is a huge part of anxiety but i disagree that you need to stop fighting it completely. You do need some coping stratergies in order to live and get by in the world until this clicks in. I think some people could read your post and feel inspired but also disheartened that they aren't in that headspace. That was all i was describing in my post. Sooo happy you are in that place. I am really struggling. I can't function in public without trying to hide and manage some of my visible anxiety. I think it is a combination of several things to recover. Telling people to stop looking to hide it in such an evangelical way can come across a bit intimidating. I am new on here and felt slightly uneasy. Ive read similar posts by other people and some reactions are very similar to mine. I am battling my anxiety the best i can. Sending you best wishes and thankyou for a burst of positivity but be mindful that some will feel a bit intimidated x
In answer to your point about fighting, I’m mostly referring to the battle that rages inside an anxiety sufferers’ head. All the fearful thoughts, the “what’s ifs”, the doubts. People stay stuck in the cycle because they don’t accept the thoughts and feelings and do things to try and suppress them. The thoughts and feelings are created by the anxious mind which wouldn’t be there if the person did not have an anxious mind. This is what I mean by fighting it. They are fighting with themselves instead of learning to let go.
In my experience, coping strategies are fine but it is full acceptance that cures so no need to have coping strategies. I never had coping strategies before anxiety came along so why have them now? I took up cycling and swimming because it relieved the symptoms. I was fitter than a butcher’s dog, trying to get rid of all that excess, negative energy. This was a coping strategy which provided temporary relief, a bit of breathing space, clarity of thought. I wanted more than temporary relief, I wanted to be the person I used to be. Happy go lucky. The clarity of thought allowed me to see that anxiety was the root cause of all the thoughts and feelings and not reality. I changed my attitude towards my exercise regime and stopped doing it for the purpose of finding relief and accepted that I would still feel anxious later, regardless.
I make no apology if the message I am giving is to face your fears and to do it anyway. This is the way to recover. Running away from fears doesn’t work and that includes running from the symptoms of anxiety, whether it be physically or mentally.
For more information, I recommend reading books written by Dr Claire Weekes or any other material that advocates acceptance. I also found a website called AnxietyNoMore.co.uk which also helped with my recovery.
I totally understand my anxiety. I am trying to accept it. Im learning to live with this and challenge the fears and feelings. Obviously for you coping stratergies didnt work. Until this acceptance totally clicks in your mind, in my experience some people need a strategy or plan so they can function in the world. Today i really struggled to push past the fear and ended up crying in public, i am still in the acceptance process so until this clicks in i do need some coping strategies so i can go out or my alternative is stay in until i've cracked the anxiety. It isn't practical for everyone. I will be restarting the DBT course which is one of the best for treating anxiety and BPD. Recovery is trial and error, not a one size fits all and reading one book and pinning all your hopes on it isn't always the answer. People are raving about Claire Weekes on here but that is just one opinion. People should take as much advice and try lots of different approaches that they feel comfortable with. X
Dr Claire Weekes’ books are not based on opinion. They are based upon the natural physiological healing process of the human body. Her books explain how anxiety develops (sensitised nerves caused by stress or a series of stressors...mine was the latter), the symptoms and how people unwittingly (mainly through lack of knowledge and understanding as to what is happening to their mind and body) add more fear to the equation, becoming stuck in a vicious cycle that keeps the nerves sensitised and on high alert. Her teachings are about stepping out of the way of yourself (acceptance) and letting the natural healing process of the body to take place.
Acceptance isn’t something that clicks in your mind. It’s about carrying on regardless of how you may feel, taking the anxiety with you. If you feel rubbish, so what? If you burst into tears, so what? It’s about making your life bigger than anxiety with no expectation of recovery. Gradually, the symptoms will melt away. Recovery is a rocky road with lots of setbacks along the way where you think you are back to square one. You’re not. It’s a sign that your mind and body are working it’s way back to an even keel and should be accepted as part of the recovery process. Without the knowledge and understanding gained from her books, I don’t know where I would be today.
Thank you. I have read this twice. Initially I was sceptical but then I thought knowing your own experience there may be something to it. In summary, feel the fear but do it anyway.
Every evening, when the perceived danger is gone I feel I could do anything, then in the morning all the what ifs surface again. I have a routine which is manageable, but by the afternoon I am exhausted by the effort.
Anyway, today I vowed to accept I was going to feel bad but I was going to do it. Admittedly the clear skies and sunshine helped enormously.
So far I have changed a ceiling bulb, eaten fairly well and the washing is on the line. Yes I did panic over the horrendous noise of the final spin and what if it did break down and I couldn't get the washing out and it all went mouldy.......... . Guess what , it was fine.
I went to get some groceries in a shop without queues. I could have come home at this point but I used my what ifs in a different way. What if I went a little further. The fact that I had upper back pain, a completely new symptom, helped convince me that it was anxiety trying to stop me.
So I drove on. Admittedly not in the rush hour, to a busier shop. The first set of traffic lights were on green. The next on red. It was a long wait. I tried to distract myself with making words from the number plates in front.
I did it. I don't feel thrilled, because I know I will have to do it again and again, but if I can do it once, I should be able to do it again. I know it is stating the obvious but it really is rather futile and exhausting worrying about things that may never happen. It is better to deal with things as and when they do.
I can see looking back these panicky feelings of being trapped and in queues have been developing for over a year. I tried to battle on and it all came crashing down after a bacterial infection which required antibiotics. Panic started to permeate every aspect of my life
I am a long, long way off managing everything but I am hoping this feel the fear and do it anyway will pay off if I just push the boundaries, which are all self-imposed, a little more each day.
Evening time, the real you surfaced. I was the same. Anxiety levels would be extremely high during the day and taper off at night. I gave up trying to figure out why and put it down to my sensitised nerves caused by constant worry and stress about being constantly being worried and stressed! The fearful thoughts were endless. Some resonated with me which stuck like a broken record, others I could let go. They all came uninvited with equal shock value.
What you are doing now is the way to recover. Keep moving forward, no matter how slow it may be. Facing fears and carrying on regardless of how you may feel and repeating it over and over. It takes time for your nervous system to de-sensitise so symptoms will persist even when you are fully accepting. De-sensitisation will only happen if you keep putting yourself in the firing line. This is how the brain learns that there is no threat and eventually stops sending messages to the rest of the body to fight or run away.
It’s a bit like making a presentation to a room full of people. You may feel extremely anxious at the thought of doing it and not want to go through with it. If you don’t go through with it, you may never want to do another presentation as you (your brain) perceives it as a threat, making you anxious. If you do go through with it and make several presentations, you may feel less stressful as time goes by. By the time you are doing it for the umpteenth time, there is no flicker of nervousness and a slick delivery ensues. If you want freedom from fear, treat anxiety the same way.
Thank you for your incredible post. Oddly, my anxiety is worse in the evening, when I am still, when I can focus on every palpitation or odd pain.... I am finding alternatives though like just calling people on the phone on the treadmill.
evenings I am typically very safe. I am in my own space with everything that is familiar to me, i have the hot shower, my night clothes and a good book or movie and nothing and no one can affect me. When I first went out on my own, all we had was the TV and a landline or a good book or a neighbor to keep us company and I was a bit more tense on some nights. that is all gone now.
Isn't it interesting how it is all so different for each one of us.
Hi Beevee, have been reading your posts as you give so much advice. I am going through 😢a bad state of anxiety. I am trying to go out as much as usual but if a friend speaks to me I start crying. Men can often control their tears but it’s one of the reasons I find it hard to go out at the moment as I avoid people. Dreading Christmas and the run up to it, from Lin
Hi Indigojoe, I am a worrier so could be one of many things that trigger me off. I get 2 bouts of anxiety a year that last about 6 weeks when I become a different person. Once it passes I am back to my happy,sociable self. Not one councillor etc can explain why this happens. In U.K if you want to see a phsychiatrist you have to be suicidal. Otherwise it costs you a fortune to pay for one. I don’t need anyone to talk to as have lots of caring friends, I need advice.
I am trying the Claire Weaks method of don’t fight anxiety and trying to get out and about but it’s very hard. I listen to Mindfulness and do relaxation methods. Luckily I am retired so no worries over work.
I can’t suddenly become a person that doesn’t worry. My husband says if you can’t do anything about it stop worrying. Not easy. My stomach is churning now because I am worrying. It will pass and hope you are well.from Lin x
Hi Indigojoe. Thanks so much for your advice. I think I worry and then every 4 or 5 months it has built up and then I become really poorly with severe anxiety. That usually takes about 6 weeks to go away but luckily it’s only over 3 and a half weeks this time. This can happen in Summer and Winter. I have a Light Box to use in the grey English Winter months. I do like 2 glasses of wine with my evening meal even though I am on anti depressants. My Local Doctor said this is ok but I often try to give it up in case it’s the wine that causes the anxiety. Best ever thing for me is to chat to people and friends as I am very sociable. Luckily I live near Liverpool in U.K. the friendliest place in the World.
I have dropped a toxic friend, so see if that helps.
Don’t know anything about you so I will read your links now.
PHENOMENAL POST!!!!!!!! I am so in this place right which is why I have not posted in some time. I cannot control it nor cure it so I need to just walk through it...some days are harder than other (like now) but I have to get through it, no other option really. This post helped more than you knwo and I thank you!!! xo
Does this work for ocd im a mommy suffering bad i just want to enjoy life and be the beat mom i can but these ugly terrifying thoughts and anxiety just put me down and make me doubt everything😢
HI Mommyyof02, I hope Beevee will chime in, and I just wanted to share my personal answer/opinion on your question: Yes. It is essentially the approach for OCD. Please see my profile where I have an excellent audio of Dr. Weekes that you can listen to right now- posted just below it is another Dr. Weekes video where she specifically addresses OCD in greater depth. OCD is an anxiety-based condition. You will start to see/understand the overlap as you continue on your journey towards recovery. With OCD, there is a bit more direct of an application of "exposure and response prevention" IMO for the compulsions if you have them. ie if you are compelled to, say, wash your hands a certain number of times, the treatment is to not wash your hands (response prevention) which you perceive to be dirty/germy (exposure), and instead, sit with the anxiety and just accept/acknowledge it and see it for what it is. Even eat with your hands unwashed and let the anxiety really kick in, all the while just letting it be and recognizing how harmless it is. Repeated exposure and response prevention can extinguish that particular compulsion. The underlying anxiety responds beautifully to everything that Dr. Weekes discusses/describes. And this is important because if the underlying anxiety is not dealt with, other compulsions or obsessions can just show up to replace the one that was extinguished. A good therapist can help SO much with OCD
One more thing I'll recommend is a book by Tamar Chansky- Freeing your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Even though it is written for parents of children with OCD, it explains it all so well, and offers excellent advice that adults can apply to their own recovery. Again, I hope Beevee gives you his thoughts on your question as well!
1. Obsessive thoughts that stick because the sufferer’s mind is exhausted due to the constant battle with thoughts trying to figure them all out. Their mind has lost its elasticity and the ability to think around a problem. They can only seem to think of the problem itself. Those thoughts come with such a physical like force, the sufferer recoils in fear and feels compelled to do something about them. To fight, suppress, avoid or deliberately distract themselves to try and stop themselves having those thoughts and feelings.
2. Compulsions to do things such as continually washing hands or checking doors are locked etc. In my opinion, these actions are designed to try and stop an anxiety sufferer feeling anxious.
Dr Weekes’ teachings by allowing yourself to think and feel everything without resistance (no avoidance, no suppression or any other tactic to stop yourself feeling anxious) will cure both types. They will cure all fear based disorders, sImply because the root cause is the same i.e. fear or fearing the feelings of fear. It’s all fear based so if you understand what is happening and why, you lose the fear of the symptoms and allow peace of mind and body to gradually return. I say gradually because it takes time for the healing process to do its stuff. Setbacks are also part of the healing process but if a sufferer recognises the fact these these are to be expected and a sign that progress is being made, it makes it easier to accept these too.
Very glad to help but it is the late Dr Claire Weekes we should all be thanking. Otherwise I and countless others would be still scratching around in the dark, fighting and worrying why we not making any progress and searching for the holy grail to make it all go away instantly. It doesn’t exist. Just good old fashioned knowledge, understanding and a bit of patience and applying her teachings wholeheartedly, will lead to recovery.
Beevee, such an informative post! I am in the process of doing exactly what you spoke on, accepting it all and not trying to fight it and I honestly have seen improvement. Not fully out of the woods yet, still have sensations creep up on me trying to take my peace of mind but I try to stay focused and let them come and go. 8 months ago when my anxiety was at its worst I didn’t see a way out and was in a very dark place ready to give up. Acceptance truly seems to be the key. I think I have made about a 70% turnaround and am very hopeful and looking forward to the future. Thanks again for your insightfulness.
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