Let your thoughts play their tricks as they will. Concentrating hard on trying to forget oneself is merely another way of concentrating anxiously on oneself. Do not try to forget yourself. Do not try to force your way back into anything. Accept yourself as you are now, with all your strange thoughts. It does not matter what you think about, or how much you dwell on yourself, providing you do not do it anxiously. That is the key. It is the anxiety that tenses, sensitizes, not the thoughts. Accept your thoughts, whatever they are, as part of your ordinary thinking. Do not make the mistake of believing that there are certain thoughts you must not think, dare not think, as if there are parts of your brain you must not use. Use them all, even those that may hold an obsession; but use them willingly, shrink from none of them. None of us ever completely forgets himself. You are only much more conscious of yourself than you normally would be. This is not important, although it can be devastatingly frustrating. Accept your habit of introspection with as little frustration as possible. You may be often disappointed in the beginning. Be prepared for this. Thoughts may be fantastic when you are anxious. You may go chasing them to see how odd they can become, and the stranger, more unreal they seem, the more you may push on, as if compelled to find out the worst, compelled to challenge the worst. And do not make the mistake of thinking that this is mental. You are merely once more afraid of fear, but this time in one of its most bewildering and upsetting guises.
Weekes, Claire. Hope and Help for Your Nerves (pp. 131-132). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
No matter how far I've come in managing anxiety, I still need a little reminder from time to time. And I hope that sharing clips from her books will help those who haven't seen how helpful her approach is. Hugs to you!
As you progress throught the recovery process and understand anxiety through your own experiences passing through those storms multiple times, you will find that you need reassurance less and less because you are more accepting of the symptoms. You are letting go. You have travelled far on the road to recovery and passed the point of no return. Even if you get a puncture (setback) it won't throw you off that road!
Walk the walk and talk the talk. Live and breath all of what she said. Make it second nature, make it your new habit. Accept it all. Question none of it. No half measures accepting some symptoms but complaining / fearing others.
Yes, of course. It goes without saying and wish i had £1 for every time I've made that point. Unfortunately sufferers want instant relief and are easily perturbed if that doesnt happen by acceptance. It is absolutely vital that they feel the anxiety and accept it because that is when the brain learns that there isnt anything to be anxious about because the sufferer is not reacting in fear and adding more stress and sensitisation and topping up their anxiety.
Beevee, I purchased this book and started reading it just yesterday because of your mentioning of Claire Weekes in your posts about Acceptance (I read all of your posts after you replied to my post about anxiety symptoms). I am convinced that Acceptance is the answer. It's simple and straightforward and makes the most sense, out of all the therapies and techniques and pills and treatments there are nowadays.
I really appreciate how much and how well you have explained the importance of Acceptance as the solution for this particular condition. I needed to see it articulated to help me get motivated to take the next step and learn more, and put it to practice. I'll elaborate more on my story in a separate post.
Wise choice my friend. After a while i started to view anxiety as something that attached itself to me and could be removed with no collateral damage, so to speak. Through knowledge and understanding, I gradually was able to separate myself from the suffering. Not quite an out of body experience but can't explain it any better just now!
I was no longer intertwined with it, it wasnt me, i wasnt lost. The real me was just beneath the symptoms and would return once the symptoms disappeared. I lost the need to question every single anxious thought and get involved. I became an observer to what was going on and instead of looking at it fearfully, it was more like curiosity. "Oh yeah, hello anxious thought, where are you taking me today? I know your purpose is to scare me and thats ok with me. I know you are only excessive energy that needs to be released so i'll just let you get on with it because i understand that this is all part of the healing process."
The more I developed this attitude, the easier things became. I still felt anxious for a while and there was a delay before I started to notice some benefits. Symptoms dropped off, layer by layer. Many disappearing so quietly, I didn’t realise that they had gone. It would suddenly dawn upon me that I hadn’t had a particular thought or feeling for a while. They just tapered off, I suppose. I had complete trust in my mind and body sorting themselves out.
I just bought this and started reading yesterday. It's a classic and I think it is much more helpful than most of the more recent self-help books for anxiety!
Follow her advice...don't fret if you don't see immediate results...practice accepting your anxiety and you'll find over time it doesn't control you. Lose your fear of it...lose your fear of what others think about you...and all will be well. I can testify to it. And when you slip back, you'll have memories of acceptance and you'll get through setbacks more quickly.
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Essential Help For Your Nerves by Claire Weekes
