A taste of the DARE response

I find having a couple of different sources during my recovery to be helpful. This way it doesn't get stale hearing just one voice. I don’t put one over the other. I find both Claire Weekes and Barry McDonagh helpful to me. You can get audio copies of their works to listen to when you’re not able to sit and read.

I want to thank Naliegha (community member here) for bringing the DARE response to my attention a few months ago.

From my Kindle copy of the DARE response:

Think of The DARE Response as your special mental toolkit that you can use each and every time you feel anxious. By applying it (even imperfectly), you’ll always be moving in the right direction and healing your anxiety.

To recap:

(D) As you become aware of anxiety, defuse it immediately with a “so what/ whatever” attitude.

(A) Drop all resistance and accept and allow the anxiety you’re feeling to just be. Try to get as comfortable with the anxious discomfort as you can.

(R) Remove the sense of threat by running toward the anxious feelings. Tell yourself, “I’m excited by this feeling.”

(E) Finally, move your attention to an activity in the present moment that engages you fully.

McDonagh, Barry. Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast (pp. 43-44). BMD Publishing. Kindle Edition.

[Calm_mama]

I love this and so completely agree with the approach ...thx for posting!

[Hidden in reply to Calm_mama]

You're welcome mama...Both have helped me in managing day to day and more importantly when I experience a setback.

I would tell anyone to never give up...that many of us are perfectionists and if we don't "do it right" always, we give up. Never, ever give up. Ever. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try, try again.

[Beevee]

Dr Weekes was my main source for understanding how to recover. Paul David's website (anxietynomore.co.uk) and his first book called At Last a Life was also extremely helpful. Both advocate acceptance as the cornerstone to recovering from anxiety. If you research the subject and understand the hows and whys of anxiety, you will learn that it is in fact your friend because it is trying to protect you. Far too many people suffer needlessly because they think they must fight this thing. This "thing" is the ultimate protection system which is just doing what you are telling it to do and protecting you by pumping you full of adrenalin to make you flee, fight or freeze. It can also generate lots of negative thoughts and, all of which are false. If you fight the thoughts and feelings, it stays on full alert to protect you from this danger....which is you. Your protection system becomes over used, like a well oiled trigger, making it easier to fire off more adrenalin....which you fight, instead of accepting. you are fighting wirh yourself and going round in ever decreasing circles. No wonder people stay stuck and dont progress to revovery when they are doing the opposite to what they should be doing...which is nothing. Doing nothing to stop themselves feeling the symptons.

I have posted lots of information on this forum about acceprance and re overing from anxiety. It just takes a change in attitude towards the symptoms and losing your fear of them.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

And accepting the feelings reduces any associated fear.

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Absolutely 👏👏

[pink83737]

Love it

[Miss-guineapig]

Thank you for this, very useful indeed. Had a wee smile, as I am quite new to PA and I only have my current experience. I was just thinking this morning, that I always seem to tell the same stories hahaha! You've sorted this out for me Battersea xx

[wingsofadove]

I have just read this post after replying to another post by yourself. (They are under different headings and I had not seen it until I scrolled down) This one contains so much that is helpful, and it makes me realise that we truly are making the same journey! I don't particularly agree with (1) the "so what!" response, I think the second works better for myself, which is to stay with the feeling when it happens before moving on to the next step.

Best wishes,