Help.

[maoaaam]

Hello guys. Last time I posted something here it was about frequent seizures and what they could be. I then was diagnosed with Epilepsy very quickly as my doctor witnessed my seizure right in front of his eyes. I was personally never sure if it was epilepsy I just felt like it was something else. Maybe some nerves or something like that. It is absolutely not a panic attack or anxiety attacks or such. They only happen as I go to bed or wake up, I start twisting and my body gets stiff and my hands are clawing at whatever is near. I have been on almost every type of epileptic medication but they have all had a negative effect on me. I am now on 250 mg Keppra and 500 mg Valproat / Orfiril. My seizures have not gone away obviously and I was promised that in less than a year I would be seizure free. It's already been a year since my diagnosis and I feel hopeless because no doctor knows what to do. My body is tired from all this illness with the medication on top of it all. I took blood tests and it said that I have an extremely low white blood cell count which I was told could give me a life long illness. My doctor immediately prescribed me with B vitamins and D3 vitamins. However, within a month of using them I started to experience stomach pain, rectal bleeding/blood in the stool, nausea, vomiting, different colored poop, pain in the opening of my a**. It has gotten to the point where I am honestly and truly considering quitting all my medications as I feel an ongoing depression just come and go. I don't want to be on these medications for the rest of my life. I want to have to children one day and I want to be able to live free. I feel like I am trapped and that there is no way out. My life is on hold, college is on hold, everything is. I can't even take care of myself. I am scared of what might happen if I quit. I am also scared that maybe I will never get rid of this epilepsy as it happens to some. Help me please. I get suicidal thoughts sometimes and I even think about whether or not people will care if I'm gone because life seems so hard right now. I don't wanna go through this another year. I'm taking a gap year now when I was supposed to go to college because my body needed to relax. I couldn't do it yet. I don't know if I'll be ready next year. I wanna study in a foreign country but my parents will be scared for me as my epileptic seizures still occurs. Is this even epilepsy when I've tried everything and nothing works? Maybe I was wrongly diagnosed? Am I developing severe depression? Will I be able to go to college and build my own family? Help me. I am only 18.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

You definitely should go to a new neurologist. Do not stop your meds cold turkey! You have got to work with your doctor very closely to stop your meds. You also need to go to a goog GI doctor. It almost sounds like hemorrhoids. I know that sounds silly but it could be. Obviously I don’t know. The low blood count sounds like anemia. I hope you’ve had blood work for that. I also recommend an OBGYN check up as well. Don’t stop fighting. Could you have been misdiagnosed? Yes. Not necessarily. Everyone responds to meds differently. You would be amazed at what I’ve overcome medically. Even when doctors said I couldn’t. I went for years without a proper diagnosis. Years! It was only when I moved and went to another doctor I was diagnosed properly. I went through hell. I’m here. I have a son they never thought I would. I now have a grandson. With seizures and elilepsy you may even consider a therapy dog. I have one just because but she is my best friend and provides me with such comfort. It can also comfort your parents when you go to college. Obviously you have loving parents that would care a great deal if something happened to you! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...Things can get better! My cousin practically my brother had seizures and he overcame them.