Pushed to be normal.: My friends keep... - Anxiety Support

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Pushed to be normal.

Wyominganxiety profile image

My friends keep signing me up for things like jobs or just parties I know they think pushing me outside my comfort zone is going to help me but I just don't think I'm ready for that leap yet. One friend keeps referring me for jobs, another keeps planning weekend trips which involves tons of people and traveling. I've tried to yell them I'm not ready for that but they tell me i have to do it or I'll be a hermit forever.

7 Replies

Wyominganxiety, well that may be so that you have to do it, but I never succeeded in having people push me into something I wasn't ready for. The right time had to come from within me. I agree if you don't take that step forward you can become a hermit but in time, in time.

We are our own person. We all know what is best for us. We may have forgotten how to take that step forward out of our comfort zone but believe me when push comes to shove, we will be the first to recognize that what we have been doing all along has not been the answer. We need small steps and not one big giant step forward. We need comfort and trust and not just be thrown into the waters to learn how to swim. Anxiety has taken our confidence away and no one can put that back but ourselves.

So I agree with you Wyominganxiety in that this may not be the time for you. However, you know you have 2 choices and that is going forward or taking a chance that you may become a hermit. The trust you are looking for is in yourself not your friends. I hope you choose wisely, it can be a decision that will change your life. You are never alone because we care xx

I've been doing pretty good taking small steps going to the store and paying bills things like that but I know I don't do good traveling yet and it's a wine tour I don't drink anymore so that doesn't sound worth it to me and I do want to work u have days where I grab applications while I'm out but I don't take them back maybe that's a sign I'm getting closer just not ready yet

I did that myself for a long time, went as far as going on interviews (set up on my good days) only to know that when I was ready, I'd be marketable. Well it so happened that I was, enough so that I then was under anxiety in having to say "no" to the many offers. But I had to know for myself that I was ready and I wasn't. But going on those interviews gave me the confidence to know that I still was me, deep inside there was this person who hadn't changed, I just had to learn how to let her get out again.

I feel it is the same for you. The wine tour sounds amazing but besides the anxiety and self doubts is the fact you don't even drink to take the edge off. Your choice, always your choice. Let us know what you choose. In either way, once you have made the decision do not go back on it and proceed forward with no doubts that you made the right choice for you at this time... xx

Thank you and I will, I just went to the store and grabbed another application so we will see how it goes

My sis has social anxiety and my brother in law thought by also pushing her to do things was a good idea, well it wasnt and I never get in their business but I have been where she was and would tell him that is no help if anything it will make the anxiety worse. When I had the social anxiety years ago my family or friends started slow with me like a ride to a coffee shop close by or even a ride around the block or to a store where they would go in and I would sit and wait in car,, Its all about baby steps and getting back out there.

It is very hard to do even the normal things I'm making progress which I'm proud of but feeling like I'm making steps forward I really don't want to push to far and fall back

youre doing it right dont feel forced or pushed to something. you should be proud for every small step you take.

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