I just want to feel normal again.....

[gldavis447]

I have suffered with anxiety for as long as I remember but the last few years have been the worst and quite frankly sheer hell....some days I can't even face going out one because I always feel so drained and two because the fear of being judged and being criticized just overwhelms me. I have found peoples opinions and sheer lack of understanding really damaging. People think because you look so tired all the time you are automatically taking drugs or because you dont participate in activities with family because of how you feel you are being ignorant and unfair. They really have no idea.......

I was made redundant in December which was a very really tough time..it was a really stressful job but all the same I loved it and was really upset when I left. I was made redundant 2 years before in another job I loved too so I suppose all it did was bring back bad memories and a lot of upset. I suppose I felt lost and confused, it really knocked my confidence too.

When I left I told myself at first that I needed some time off to get my head straight, to have some time for me and to decide in which direction I wanted to go with my career. I accepted a job a few weeks ago but due to my anxieties and how unconfident I feel I just couldnt do it

How do you get a job when you feel like this all the time? I keep telling myself its because I'm not ready yet and I need more time but will I ever be ready? Will I ever stop feeling nervous all the time? Any advice would be greatly appreciated :(.

[Chubbers]

I know just how you are feeling. I'm training at a new job and it's taking what tiny ounce of energy I have. I'm always anxious and dizzy and plain don't feel well but have to go to work anyway. I'm sitting in my car now dreading going in. I just want to cry. I hate this unreal sick feeling. It makes everything difficult. I will say a little prayer for you. I hope we all can feel ok at least content and able to function. I don't get it. I'm a nice person but that doesn't matter if I can't function and work 😥😥

[gldavis447 in reply to Chubbers]

Its tough isnt it but you are doing great by facing it and going into work. You should pat yourself on the back for that I am one of those who lets my anxiety rule me which I know I need to change but dont know how to..some days it just completely takes over.

I will say a prayer for you too....just remember you are not alone. Talking about it helps especially to those who are going through it too

[Chubbers in reply to gldavis447]

Thanks sweetie! I'm just always thinking it's more than anxiety and that fuels the anxiety and symptoms 😥 But been goin through this about 25 years it's just been worse since I'm in my 40's. I shouldn't be like this. I'm so nice to people but they are not as nice to me and don't really get what I'm going through. It's not their fault they don't deal with anxiety. I really want to feel ok for once. Anyway you take care and have a good 🍀 Day 😊

[gldavis447 in reply to Chubbers]

I know that feeling too well sweet. Because of my anxiety I dont really socialise a lot so when it comes to birthdays, parties etc I never go. Even though I am nice to everyone people are so horrible to me because of it, i get comments like 'you never do anything with us, we try and help you and nothings ever good enough bla bla bla' they just dont understand and dont understand that I am crying out for help not criticism. Tomorrow is a new day though hey, I'm going to beat this

[Chubbers in reply to gldavis447]

Yes we must keep on!!! We support each other! I'm here for all the understanding you need😊. I have so much trouble doing anything fun. I make myself go to work. The grocery store that's another thing I have to make myself do. Never any energy left for fun and since I feel strange nothing is fun but I'm trying!

[gldavis447]

Morning sweet, how are you feeling today? Thankyou for all your support, its nice to talk to someone who understands, I am here for you all the way too...we can do it!

[Hidden]

I had to leave my last job because I was feel so unwell. The job I had before that I was made redundant from, it was tough because the last team manager I had didn't treat me well and I started getting migraines so bad that I would loose the sight in my left eye. I took time out in order to allow me to recharge and also to put more work into my voluntary role as a coach in the run up to the Paralympic games. That was a life changing experience. Unfortunately I still ended up with anxiety and depression and I was taking way too much time off my last job that I handed in my notice before I was sacked.

I am now working to get better and back to work and am going to be attending a course starting next week which is designed to help people back into the work force. I have also decided to change careers as well. Learning to cope with anxiety and over come depression is changing me and I am determined that this will all be for the better.

The way I found to stop feeling nervous was to recognised the symptoms and to do things that took me out my comfort zone and allowed me to practise the techniques I was learning to deal with the anxiety and nerves. It is not easy going, but it is do able.

Are you seeing anyone to help you?

Have you done any CBT or other course to help with the anxiety and nerves?

Have you tried meditation or relaxation or mindfulness?

Do you know about goal setting and have you set goals for what you want to do?

Hope this helps or just gives you some ideas of what to look into.

Take care.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Hi 20Voices, getting out of my comfort zone has been so difficult. I would

get more anxious and develop headaches while in CBT because of the consistent preaching to take a step forward. I tend to stay frozen where I'm at because to me it is not worth the price I pay when pushing myself. Usually, I am symptomatic while out as well as having symptoms when I return home. It is in no way a win. It isn't easy and anyone who can do this I give huge credit to them. Wishing you well always.

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Hi Agroa1,

I understand what you mean about it being painful and waying out the benefits. For me it is worth the extra pain and anxiety at the moment cause I plan to be better for the experience. I am kind of stubborn about learning from experiences so that is helping me with the extra pain and the possibility of going out for an hour and then having to spend the next couple of days recovering. It's worked for me but I totally get that it's not something for you. We are all different and what works for one person may not work for another.

I hope you can find something that works for you and that you can be happier and less anxious.

Take care. I'll be thinking of you.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Are you agoraphobic as well?

[gldavis447 in reply to Agora1]

Was that for me or for Agroa1? I did reply but thought sugar that wasnt meant for me haha

[Agora1 in reply to gldavis447]

It was for you gldavis447 I usually address the

person because it can become confusing. Are you

agoraphobic? I'm working on that but it is so scary

at times (like everyday) Take care x

[gldavis447 in reply to Agora1]

If i know I will get anxious then yeah i will do whatever it takes to avoid it....ive been told i need to face my fears but sometimes it is just so hard. Its people as well as situations though....For instance my partners mum makes me anxious because i feel she doesnt understand and because shes so negative towards me so whenever it comes to us going round there i never go. This then causes problems between me and my partner which makes me more anxious...its a vicious circle really.

Do you find people make you anxious or just situations youre in?

[Agora1 in reply to gldavis447]

Oh definitely people too. There are just some people who not only don't understand but then belittle you as well.

I can do without the drama.

Here's wishing us better times ahead

[gldavis447 in reply to Agora1]

High five to that! Things can only get better

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

No, just had a really tough time last year and found it difficult to leave the house, sometimes it was even difficult to leave my bedroom. One of the worst feelings I've ever felt. I just didn't feel safe outside the house cause I just didn't trust anyone and more importantly I didn't trust myself. Learning to trust myself and face my fears has help, but the exerpience taught me a lot about how it can be difficult for others to deal with these situations on a long term basis.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Wow...I knew I wasn't alone with agoraphobia but

didn't realize the other issues that come along with it

are not unique. I don't trust anyone anymore. As for trusting myself, that took a long time to get over because of the way I was raised. In doubt by my mother. So I always questioned my decisions.

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Sounds like you have worked on trusting yourself, that is really good. My trust issues come from the split of my marriage and a few things that my ex said to me at the end had me doubting our whole relationship and marriage. So right now I have major trust issues cause if his lack of response to questions which I now think I was getting too close the the truth for is liking.

Keep work on it you will trust people in time.

Take care.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

I hope so. I've always been a "people person" and it hurts me to pull back.

[gldavis447 in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou for such kind words, it really means a lot. I have made an appointment to see the doctor at the end of the month to discuss my feelings and to get some help really. I have had counselling before but back then I had such a busy work routine I just ignored it and carried on. I have however started to write a daily journal of my thoughts and my feelings. When I have a really low day I do find this helps, it helps me to figure out what triggers it too.

Do you think taking time out is good for recovery? I often think that this will only make things harder but at the same time I feel I need it to find out who I am again and where I want to go with my life.

[Hidden in reply to gldavis447]

It is tough taking time out I've been out of work for 1 year 3 months now, but I know in myself I was in no fit state to be in work. I've also taken the decision that I want to change careers which makes things a little more challenging for me, but it's what I need to do for me.

A couple of options you could think about is possibly working part-time so you still have time to find out who you are and what you want in life, or you could look at doing some kind of volunteering as well. I am currently doing training to be a volunteer with Barnardo's which will hopefully lead me to my ultimate goal.

I'd also suggest that you do some training whether it be for helping you with your current situation or for what you feel you want to do in the future. You could take a look at futurelearn.com they offer a wide range of courses from universities around the world. I've completed a couple of courses. I found their course on mindfulness very helpful.

The other advise I can give you is to make sure your time off is productive and that you have goals for each day.

With your journal make sure it's not all negative that you include each day the things you are grateful for and also any positive sayings or comments you've though of or have heard that day. The mind works better and you feel better for good comments and praise and doing good deeds.

This situation has taught me that although I could advise other people on goal setting, positive affirmations and other techniques for staying calm and mentally prepared, I wasn't that good at following my own advise (had too many voices in my head laughing at me and telling me that they knew all the tricks to stop me from following my own advise. Don't have the voices laughing at me anymore, which is great. )

Hope this helps, get in touch if you want to talk more.

Take care, you have the potential to reach your dreams, use this time to aim to be better than you've ever been. No point us going through all this pain just to be the same person we were before this all happened, that's what I think I want to be better for all this pain and heartache.

[star-dust-pixie]

I understand how you feel...

I had a mental breakdown from battling anxiety in one of my jobs, I took 2 years out to cope but then I had to go back to work..

The doctors prescribed propranolol to help with the physical symptoms of severe anxiety and I've been working for 3 years now, yes it's been tough and a struggle but I managed to do it.

I even came off my propranolol but now I've started a new more stressful job I might need to go back on it.

I can't really offer advice other than I went to the doctors to see what they could offer and I read up about mindfulness.

Take care x

[gldavis447 in reply to star-dust-pixie]

Thankyou for the reply I really hope your new job doesnt stress u too much, well done for battling through it, u deserve a pat on the back

I am seeing the doctor at the end of the month so hopefully I will get some help I am having a good day today which has been amazing, im feeling positive

[star-dust-pixie in reply to gldavis447]

Thank you..I might go back onto my propranolol for a little while but that doesn't make me weak it's just a help.

Talking to the right people about getting some sort of help is the step in the right direction, well done for battling it too...we can all do it and I'm glad your having a positive day (: