On Monday I got back from Latitude festival- exhausted, dirty, and in need of a good lie down! The overall experience was a really positive one- I surprised myself by having such a wonderful time. The atmosphere there was amazing, so friendly and family-centered, quite small compared to the other bigger festivals, loads of delicious food and so on. The five days we were there were so jam-packed that, apart from about two little blips where I started feeling down for one reason or another, I didn't have time to do anything but enjoy myself! Something that I'm really proud of.
Then... yesterday evening I was on Facebook when I saw something that really angered and annoyed me. This girl that my boyfriend is friends with (and just friends- nothing has ever happened between them) was really blatantly trying to flirt with both him and two of his male housemates (who are also in relationships). My boyfriend didn't reply to the comment, and when I texted him in my anger, he calmly replied saying he'd had a word with her to tell her that it wasn't okay for her to say that (she was at their house with them all yesterday evening). She apparently apologised and took the comment down.
Now I'm not saying I don't trust my boyfriend, or that I'm worried about him being around her. It's just I've never been sure of her- she's the sort of person who is very overly confident, an attention seeker, very attractive and very witty. All of the things that I feel I am not, or I am lacking in. She's always just fed my insecurities, even though I don't often talk to her or even see her, the fact that I know she's friends with my boyfriend and around me makes me so paranoid- like one day he'll see she's infinitely better than me and leave me for her or something... An idea that I KNOW is ridiculous, and if I was to tell him would cause for him to scoff, but it's my new 'big worry' that is just going round and round in my head now.
I'm so annoyed because I had such a lovely few days spent with my boyfriend, I know he had a really great time too (was looking through the hundreds of pics I took throughout the fest and we both look so happy), and now this has just dragged me back to that horrible place of feeling insecure, paranoid, obsessed and generally, pretty shit.