Even the strong struggle!

[Janieliza]

Hi lovelies, had a bad bad baaaad night with lulu so I'm popping in here to chat for 2 mins. I'm asking myself why I can't sort this yet I know the answer. I'm asking myself when she looks at me in desperation why I can't stop her tears yet I know the answer. She doesn't understand, she holds onto the bullying incidents like they have fused into her dna. She's having nightmares due to the fall....she can't take meds due to the syndromes she has so she's emotionally and physically drained. When she closed her eyes last night I watched my beautiful child who has struggled her whole life sleep peacefully. Then the twitching began and I watched the nightmare unfold. She sat up gasping for air....mummys here. She clung to me shaking, I rocked her until she fell back to sleep...sobbing in her sleep. The school have failed her and I believe this plays in her head and why she wasn't important enough to be listened to. I know this happens across the pond and other countries yet it's 2018 and I scream WHY IS IT STILL HAPPENING TO OUR CHILDREN?. I know the answer in lulus case...bcas the teachers are scared of certain kids therefore nothing is done. These kids(2 in particular) show signs that I've dedicated my life to working with...despite my telling school...it falls on deaf ears, when they go into the adult world and someone gets really hurt...will my words come back to haunt them? No of course not bcas schools don't have the resources to deal with it and yet the children who are innocent get lost in a 'system'. I'm sorry this isn't a cheery post, to be honest...im struggling. On the outside of course I'm smiling and strong..on the inside I feel broken. I can't make this right for her you know, I can't.....that hurts me more than anything. Thankyou for listening lovelies. Hugs to you all. J xx

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

You are such a strong inspiration to so many. She is so lucky to have you! As parents or at least I know with me, the worst thing in the world is to see your child hurting and not be able to fix it. I know

You are doing everything you can. You are giving her such a strong foundation to build on. I know it is the thing we never do but i hope you can find a small portion of time to focus on you. You have to put your own oxygen mask on first. However hard that may be. Believe me I know. If not you won’t be any good to her. She needs you like you need her.

I’m so sorry things are so hard for you right now. I know that you are strong and powerful and you and LuLu will overcome! Stay healthy!

[Janieliza in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

These words mean so much to me and thankyou(the ice queen is shedding tears). I don't feel strong today..infact the polar opposite. I adore lulu...shes my savings grace I feel her pain and I just can't take it away x

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Janieliza]

I know that feeling well. My son has problems and was bullied so bad he begged to go to school from his dads in 10th grade. It killed me but it was the only way I knew tohelp him but then his dad acted like a bully and especially his step mom. That and brain surgery etc have made me feel his pain. It’s hard and when you’re at your weakest you will still shine because you are mom! Queen of the jungle! I’m so sorry you are going through this! Lulu also! Much love and virtual hugs! 🤗

[Janieliza in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I'm so sorry to hear this, so sorry. It's heartbreaking isn't it?. Virtual hugs right back at you lovely and thankyou so much xx

[Hidden]

Janieliza big hug from me...I truly feel you and hate hearing what you are going through right now..you know you are an inspiration to all of us ... your daughter is so lucky to have you..I feel your pain..stay strong, you are human too..I agree with Tinkerbell, in giving Lulu a strong foundation to build on..and she needs all the love right now, you both do from each other..you are both amazing...The unconditional love is doing its healing..I can see both you very strong..its ok...lots of love from me too..

[Janieliza in reply to Hidden]

I'm very fortunate to have you all as friends and thank you all from the bottom of my tootsies to the top of my head for all the support you've shown me. I'm not an emotional gal but recently the tears have flowed. Thankyou so much for the lovely lovely kind words..ill always be here for a shoulder or to rant at, my advise doesn't always work but my eyes are here to read and my heart to help xx

[Pearl67]

I am so very sorry you and lulu are walking this road right now. How very painful. I send prayers and love.

You are doing and being exactly what lulu needs and that is a beautiful thing above all else.

I hope today proves to be a breakthrough day for lulu! (And you)

[Janieliza in reply to Pearl67]

Thankyou for your kind words and thoughts. The support from you all is lovely and there are no words to describe how grateful i am. She's having a bad day, I worked with her this morning and she will get there, slowly but surely. Thankyou so much again x

[Crzyredhead53]

I'm so sorry you are going through this with your daughter. Bullying is something that has to stop. If the faculty is afraid of the kids, the balance of power is off. How can they teach and function as a viable school? Can u transfer her ...? I'll be praying.

Huggs and peace

[Janieliza in reply to Crzyredhead53]

I can't no....i did try(twice) and the present school intervened and told them they wouldn't have the resources to look after lulu. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I shall teach her myself(as I did for 45 weeks last time he threw her on the floor and punched her bcas her face was so ugly he wanted to change it). They said she would go down academically...she didn't, infact she excelled(educational psychologist and many of the teachers confirmed this) so im doing it again until I can get private tutors to come in when I return to work. I took the time off last time but it's not an option and as long as she is getting an education....how can they moan? They will....they will. Thankyou for your supportive words lovely xx