My older sister is unbearably depressed

[Pinky0]

I won't go on about her status etc. But for over a year now, her personality flipped. She lost confidence and doesn't go anywhere with family anymore. Weirdly but good I suppose she volunteers to help other people suffering with depression.

We know she volunteers. She's made it loud and clear she helps others. That's all we need to know. Full stop. However, my poor parents are constantly questioned and yelled at by her like "Do you know what I do?" Or "No one ever asks me how my day was". "I saved someone from killing themselves today". Thats interesting because she makes us, her family feel the opposite way.

Like for goodness sake we don't even ask each other how their day was. She has lived away in many different places around the UK but she stays with us currently at home. Tommorow just me and my parents were going holiday for a break but something happened today which has to cause it to be cancelled. Argument between my sister and mum. I went down to check on my mom and she was unconscious and not moving.

She is somewhat ok now, but won't fully open her eyes. My sister may be depressed, but really she's beyond help. She has no sympathy for our parents. I understand what it's like to be depressed and so do my parents. But what she did and keeps doing is unforgivable.

[kevoreally]

Tough situation very tough to discuss opinions on a discussion regarding family.. but if shes a danger to you or your parents she needs more help than volunteering is actually doing.. this sounds more like shes using volunteering as an excuse to hide behind her mistakes and making it seem as if she is a hero saving othe peoples lives but have you personally Talked with her one on one? And havE you asked her if she is doing okay even if you know the answer but maybe she has more going on in her life than she is sharing try and be her friend even if she thinks you as the enemy show her love no matter what! Be there for her even if ahe aint there for you

[Pinky0 in reply to kevoreally]

We have all asked her if she's ok. My parents have tried and tried to talk to her sensibly and has always ended in huge arguments. She says she's had therapy, and it's not helped. We don't know what she wants from us. She knows how ill my parents are. Yet she gives them nothing but pain everyday. My mum does so much for her. I'm more scared for my parents. They are really stressed and they just don't get a break. Her behaviour puts everyone off. There is nothing we can do. She happens to think her own feelings are above everyone else's.

[seaShelly in reply to Pinky0]

Hard to say without other info and I'm not a doctor, but this seems to have some possible narcissistic disorder mixed in with her depression. The part about how she thinks her feelings are above everyone, the fact that she feels totally under-recognized for what she considers big accomplishments (saving someone from killing themselves). And whether that was even true, possibly exaggeration as to how extreme her contributions are to other people's lives etc

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to seaShelly]

Very low self esteem. Does she do drigs? I’m here but moving on. That’s making me very angry!

[Pinky0 in reply to seaShelly]

She volunteers. Thousands of others do what she does but they don't expect something in return.

[Pinky0 in reply to seaShelly]

She volunteers. Thousands of others do what she does but they don't expect something in return.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

If your sister did that to your mom you need to call the police! Apparently she is out of control! My sister is totally manic! She ruins every family gathering. If she EVER assayed my mother she would be in jail to say the least! That is very dangerous! I would have told you to try to communicate how you feel to her. Now she has become physical and that is unacceptable! I’m feeling so much anger right now as a mother and a daughter. I can’t say much but she needs to learn a lesson and get help!

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I just have to say one thing. Energy is contagious. What you put out in this world is contagious. Being around very anxious people makes me anxious. It’s a fact. If she is taking all that in and bringing it home and can’t tolerate it that’s not good. If you care about your mom you’ll get her help even if by calling the police. She knocked your mom unconscious. Okay I’ll shut up. I’m so sorry you are going through that. My sister is very much like that. Only she is also abusing drugs. She knows better though cuz baby sister don’t play! I’m a mommas girl even though I’m a mom too!

[Pinky0 in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

No my mom was unconscious because she was deeply upset. My sister didn't physically hurt her. But she did emotionally.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Pinky0]

Okay. Still not okay but better. Thanks. I was still upset. I have a sister with mental issues and drug addiction and abuse. I totally understand.