I'm new here...

[ElJared91]

Hello!!

Although I joined a few weeks ago and have been oozing around on the forums commenting when I get a chance, I haven't had a chance to introduce myself. 35/M originally from NY, but now living in California up near San Francisco for the past 13 years. My anxiety and depression "journey" began back in college, when a routine trip with my brother to Italy resulted in my first panic attack that came completely out of no where!! Needless to say, I was rattled, and upon returning back to college, I had incessant anxiety, total lack of focus/concentration, and a few other symptoms that prompted the mental health specialist my mom took me to to start up with some anti-depressants. A few bumps along the road later (Zoloft made me exhausted during the day, Wellbutrin made me suicidal, Paxil just plain didn't work), I settled into a small, yet robust cocktail of Effexor (37.5mg)/Celexa (20mg) which was working pretty well until December 2016, when I started to feel some of the symptoms of my depression creeping back in (memory issues, muddled thoughts, lack of enjoyment of things I used to do, etc.). To make a long story short, I thought it was a SUPER idea for me to try and simply cut off the medication cold turkey... wow, was that not a good move!! After a few weeks of debilitating side effects (they are just as bad as everyone says, sorry, I can't lie, but don't do it cold turkey and it must be better), it seemed like everything was back on track. INCORRECT. A few months later, I encountered my second ever panic attack one day before another vacation to Europe!! (maybe I should just not go to Europe ever again?!?) Of course, looking back over the past few months, I would have done things totally different, but alas, here I am...

Pertinent Info: I started back on Celexa 10mg on July 5th, only to encounter incredible anxiety that forced me (at the suggestion of my doctor) to stop taking. A big gut punch, especially when it had worked well before. Started taking 5mg of Lexapro on July 11th. So basically two weeks in, only side effects I've had to far are the increase in anxiety and insomnia, and I'm hoping to recapture who I was before I wasn't who I was, if that makes sense. Have gone through 3 sessions of C.B.T. so far and have combed the Internets so many times in the past weeks looking for any anecdotal stories or results that I'm pretty sure the I.T. guy at work is going to have a talk with me very soon!!

I'm hoping that I can be of help to those in need... and maybe get some advice/perspective in times of my own

[Agora1]

Hi ElJared91 A very interesting post that made me nod my head as well as gasp when you said you stopped cold turkey. In all that you have been through, it's nice to see you still have your humor. That's important. Finding the right medication and dose is a trial/error thing but for whatever it's worth, Lexapro has been a good drug for me w/o the drowsiness that so many caused. CBT is helpful in finding your way. Not easy, takes some work but worth the outcome.

Funny when you talked about your panic attacks, I thought the same thing, maybe you shouldn't be going to Europe lol Sounds like you have a plan in action for moving forward anxiety or not. I wish you well with your meds and look forward in you interacting on the forum. Take care, Stay Positive and keep the laughs coming

[ElJared91 in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for letting me know about your success with Lexapro (and glad to hear that drowsiness is not an issue for you anymore) and for the well wishes!! Just knowing that others suffer with the daily struggles that I've been through before and now has made me feel not alone with my problems, so I'm already thankful for that! You can read up on as many stories as possible, but until you interact with others (even through a forum) it just doesn't seem real that people can feel the way you do.

And you're right, although Europe is beautiful... I think I'll stick to looking at pictures of it online from now on :-).

[CJ07]

Thanks for sharing your life. I only have but a minute and will respond more later. I haven't done the introduction yet either. I found this site a couple days ago.

You are doing the right thing. Getting and staying plugged in is important. Seems you have a lot going for you except for this hurdle many of us share.

Maybe we'll all help one another through this to reach our true potential. My dream to be free and never limited by anxiety. :))

[ElJared91 in reply to CJ07]

Thanks! We both share the same dream that one day we'll all beat down this anxiety monster and keep him/her in their rightful place...

From the short time I've been on here, I've interacted with lots of different people who can provide an abundance of information. If you ever have any questions, feel free to let me know. Best of luck in your fight and see you around!!

[Bekay]

Thank you for posting I'm following you, I hope someone, can help .

[Bekay]

Oh, ya I forgot to ask what is CBT?

[ElJared91 in reply to Bekay]

CBT is a type of talk therapy that teaches you to, in essence, reorganize your thoughts that can cause you to have anxiety. Although I visit a therapist who is certified in the CBT method, you can also find online programs that might be of assistance. There have been many researched studies that show through CBT exercises, a person has a great chance to help alleviate some, if not all, of their anxiety issues!! I would definitely look into it when you have a chance.

[Bekay in reply to ElJared91]

Thank you very much.