Hello everyone, I'm new to the group. I have had GAD since I was a teenager (I'll be 31 this month), as well as depression on and off through the years, and I had frequent anxiety attacks in highschool and college, which lessened over the years until recently. They started happening again about 3 months ago. I had hoped those would stay far in the past.
My anxiety has been through the roof for the last several months. I had an unexpected pregnancy in January (not unwanted though, but I have fertility problems and have never been able to conceive before) and then soon after, I had a miscarriage. I guess the anxiety really started getting bad again around that time.
My job started suffering, I was missing too much work because I was of course devastated, and then my anxiety levels just skyrocketed. It had been pretty well under control for about 10 years before this. I still had some bad days here and there, but nothing that I couldn't deal with. Now though, I'm having a very difficult time.
In May I lost my job - a job that I loved and never wanted to leave. I had been missing work too much, and it was brought to my attention that if I missed anymore, I would be fired. Looking back, I probably should have waited to be fired, but at the time the thought of being fired from a job was terrifying to me, I'd never been fired from any job, and I panicked and quit instead. I got a new job pretty quickly, but it's not a good fit at all, and now my anxiety levels are even higher because of that.
I no longer feel like I can handle going to work everyday, at least until I get it under control, but I also need the money. My fiance works, but neither of us is making a ton of money, and losing an income would make things really difficult. Which, as I'm sure you all can guess, makes the anxiety even worse. It's a never-ending vicious cycle!
My doctor put me on sertraline about 2-2 1/2 months ago, and at first they just made me more anxious. Now I don't feel like they are making it worse, but I also don't feel like they are doing anything to help.
I don't know, I just felt like I needed to reach out to someone who would understand today. My fiance has been AMAZING through everything, but I hate talking about it all the time, because I know he feels kind of helpless that he can't fix it. He's a fixer, and I know he would do anything if it would take it away for me. I have a couple of close friends, but they don't live around here. And I do talk to my mom, she's kind of a "suck it up and move on" kind of lady lol. Which is a great thing, she's an amazing woman, she just isn't really able to relate to how I'm feeling. It's hard for her to understand why I can't so easily just keep going and acting as if everything is normal.
So anyway I'm sorry for the novel. I just needed some friendly people this morning who know what it's like. Thanks for reading