ANXIETY GETTING WORSE?

[Chala555]

Im 20 years old and i tried methamphetamine around march this year. I had my first panic attack ever. Scariest feeling ice experienced. I was fine after a week. But a week later i started feeling funny again. Since the beginning of april ive been feeling out of place. I constantly ask myself who am i. What have i done to myself. It's hard to live like this everyday. It feels like a never ending thing. It literally feels like hell on earth. Lately ive gotten over my depersonaliztion but now my reality and surroundings feel distorted like if im in an alternate reality. I know where im at but the surroundings have no connection. I've went to the doctor and they diagnosed me with stress anxiety and depression. I also went to get some blood work done the past week to see if its nothing physical. Still havent got my results yet. Im not sure if its getting worse but i feel very scared. Like if my time is almost up. I also fear of going schizophrenic for some reason. Alzheimers and feeling like i dont exist is also in my biggest fears. I guess the meth made me feel like i was actually going to die? I had a panic attack for 5 hours straight when i did it so maybe it had something to do with this trauma? Not sure if anxiety brings out your inner fears or maybe i just over analyze everything. These previous nights i feel get this feeling of fear but i cant explain it. It makes me feel like im going crazy and that my surroundings are going to start spinning. I just feel like im getting worse and slowly losing hope for myself. What helps is my girlfriend even though sometimes i feel no connection towards her when i look at her. Which scares me so much. But she's my safety and the one that grounds me. Which makes me feel grateful for what i have. But sometimes this is too much.

[philly101]

Just wanted to start off by asking, do you still do meth or was it just a one time thing? Do you do any other drugs or do you drink? Me personally, whenever I drink heavily, the day after my anxiety is through the roof. I would stay away from any type of drugs, alcohol, stimulants, even caffeine. All these feelings of fear, impending doom, feeling like you're about to go crazy, are all symptoms of anxiety. You're 20 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you. My advice, stay away from drugs. I've lost a lot of friends to drugs, its a dead end street and nothing good ever comes of it. Good luck and stay strong.

[Chala555 in reply to philly101]

Thanks man i appreciate it. No i stopped it was just a one time thing. However these symptoms come and go throughout the day. I'm fine for a few hours but those feelings come back and last a few minutes or an hour.

[Agora1 in reply to Chala555]

Chala555, hang on to your girlfriend. It sounds like she is the one thing that makes you feel safe and grounds you. This is something your emotional state needs right now.

[philly101 in reply to Chala555]

Then its anxiety, try not to think about the symptoms. The more you think about them the worse they will get. Anxiety plays a lot of tricks on your body and mind. Your body reacts to your mind, just food for thought.