New on Lexapro and trying to regain my life back

[Mellas5]

Hello,

Not sure how to start so here i go. I am 51 bless with 5 great adults and 7 grand boys and on my 2nd married. I have been on lexapro 5mg for two weeks and have been off work 3weeks after 2 days in the hospital for high bp and palpitations with a racing heart of 165+. I am on beta blockers, 50mg in the morning and .25mg of xanax in the am and pm if needed, but I always seem to need and my bp meds of diovan 160 at night. I take my lexapro in pm cause I have noticed it helps me sleep. Thank goodness cause for weeks I was only sleeping 2/3 hours a day. I also Started therapy 2 weeks ago and she feels I have PTSD. Yes I have a lot of bagged from childhood and teens and have been on this roll coaster honestly like forever but now my mind and body have had enough of the madness. I have suffered with panic attacks since I think I was 8and have always suffered in silence but know like I said I have no choice but to address these feelings, thoughts, fears, sadness, anxiety and just life. So there you have it, now you guys cure me. Ha, wish it was that easy. I have read so many things on the net but felt I need to get involved if I am really going to get better. I am here for help, feed back, understanding and to extended myself to help those who are like me. It took me awhile to realize that I AM NOT ALONE. There is more but I guess this is a good way to start.

[Agora1]

Hi Mellas5, Welcome to the Anxiety Forum..Sounds like you qualify Thank you for sharing a lot of what's been going on with you as well as your humor for us to cure you... I am on 15mg Lexapro and have found it very helpful even w/o taking Xanax. I can only imagine how it feels like forever for you in having had anxiety since childhood. I'm sorry to hear that.

With whatever happened in your earlier years, I agree you probably do have PTSD as well. I believe you are on the right path to getting things resolved. Medication and therapy go hand in hand and may immensely reduce your anxiety. No longer sweeping the issues under the rug will also help you move forward. It may not be an instant fix but things will get better.

I'm glad you chose not to do this alone anymore. We are all here to help each other. I wish you well and look forward to seeing more postings and responses from you. My best Mellas5 x

[Mellas5 in reply to Agora1]

Agora1, my heart is full with relief and happiness by your quick response and your words of encouragement. I started to cry when I saw that someone had responded and cares. I am just overwhelmed by my situation and just TIRED.

I don't talk to my children about what I am going through because they will worry too much. My son was so stressed about me that his bp went up. So when they ask how I am I just put on the my mom smile they are used to and say, " I am okay, baby".

I just want to feel better. I wake up anxious every morning. On my 3rd day on lexapro I woke up numb. Just didn't care about anything, which was out of the norm, but I made myself get up and see my therapist. I kind of like that feeling because no anxiety was there. But of course that didn't last long cause my old friend, anxi, came right back and strong.

After 2 weeks on the meds I do feel different but it doesn't last. I am wondering if I should go up to 10mg now.

To add insult to injury Now I am totally stressed because my disability claim was only approved for 2 weeks until my therapist sends her notes. So I will stress about that until they respond to see if I will have to go back to work the way I am or will they give me more time to feel a tad better.

I have always taken care of everyone first, family, friends and job and now I feel defeated by my anxiety. Even with my anxiety I was still able to cope in even if I was suffering in silence.

I am about to have my first granddaughter and I am not happy about that like I normally would be. You would think I would snap out of it with 7 grand boys now we are having a girl. I don't even have the energy for the baby shower and it's for July 8th.

My daughters have stepped in silently but I just feel so guilty because I feel like I am letting everyone down.

I just feel crazy some times. I want that "feeling" to go away!!!!!

Thank you again,Agora1, I would love to hear your story.