New to feelings of anxiety. Looking for advice on how to cope and get my life back.

[srh1022]

I have always been somewhat responsible for assisting my parents financially, primarily with emergencies and larger purchases. My wife and I have been lucky to be able to afford this support and have been happy to assist. My father has a bad back and recently injured his back at work. The WC claim is dragging out and I am extremely concerned that he may lose his job, income and health insurance. My mother has always worked hard to provide for her family, but her income has always been limited. My anxiety really seems to stem from the thought of being completely financially responsible for both their household and my own and coming up short. I am very blessed to have a supportive wife who would be willing to sell our home and move in with my parents should it come to that point. I really do not want to put her in that position, but I also could never turn by back on my parents. I am really in a bad spot here being the only child who is in a position to assist. My anxiety has been severe for the past month. I struggle to eat and sleep. I wake up every morning before sunrise and the anxious feeling is always right there waiting for me. Can someone please provide some advise on how I can get started reclaiming my life from anxiety and worry? Thank you.

[ABCD98]

It's a very tough position being financially responsible for multiple people, it's challenging enough for most to be responsible for one.

I will fall short of giving you advice to reclaim your life from anxiety and worry.

A couple things that can help move the needle can be building a plan to deal with the problem (working out the likelihood of the events your worrying about happening, and if they are significant planning a route of how you would deal with it financially) and sharing your worries and anxieties either here, with loved ones, or with a therapist.

[srh1022 in reply to ABCD98]

Thank you for responding and for your advice. I just can’t seem to make much progress

[Fallin77]

Oh my goodness...what a burden you are carrying. You have a lot of pressure. I am so sorry. I am 44 years old and I live with and take care of both of my parents. I know it is very hard work. First of all, you should be very proud of yourself for "Stepping up " and being there for them in their time of need. So many people try to just dump their parents on someone else.

3 weeks ago I started having a big change in my thoughts and behavior. When I wake up in the morning and I have an ambush of bad thoughts that make me not want to get out of bed and face the world, I started "brain dumping" and writing down every thought that crosses my mind. I'll write a couple of pages as fast as I can because I need to get it all out. Believe it or not, it gives you a release from it even if only briefly.

The other thing is a medication that I had never been prescribed before but it has been preventing my panic attacks from developing. It's actually a blood pressure medication called clonidine. It takes a little while to start working after you take it but end up not remembering what it was you were so worried about.

Sometimes, you just need a little help. I would say finally be kind to yourself and don't fret about things that haven't happened yet. Do the best you can with what you have right now.

[srh1022 in reply to Fallin77]

Thank you for your reply and advice. I have good days and bad. I am just currently feeling very overwhelmed. I just so badly want to be able to fully relieve the financial worries completely for them. I also worry about my own financial future and not being able to both financially care for my parents and give my wife all the things I really want to. She is absolutely wonderful and assured me she is fine with making sacrifices. I don’t want her to ever have to sacrifice anything that she wants due to my responsibilities. I feel I will fail her or them eventually.

[Fallin77 in reply to srh1022]

It's really good for you to express this to the community and I hope it makes you feel better to express your worries and not be burdening your loved ones with your all of your concerns. They are probably trying to handle there own fears as well. You are so lucky that your spouse supports you and is ready to cope with it.

How many people have that? That shows a lot of love and understanding. Most people are out the door especially when it comes to dealing with their in-laws.

I hope you keep talking and let people know how you are doing. If you want to get deeper into it you know you can get into therapy but if not you can always post here and someone will listen to you.

I'm hoping for a happy outcome to your situation. Take Care