Want to give up

[Vicki1973]

Hi I'm so desperate I've been very depressed now for about 8 weeks I've tried to take my life twice in that time and feel so lost and unmotivated I just don't know what to do I'm currently signed off work and dread the thought of going back I've been trying everything and nothing seems to work

[Agora1]

Dearest Vicki1973, I hope one of the things you have tried is getting the help you so need at this moment. You need to get yourself grounded and in a good frame of mind before you can think about going back to work. You are calling out for help and someone needs to hear that cry. Is there someone you can turn to who can accompany you to ER or call a doctor for you. You should not be alone at this time. You need someone to lean on. Please make that call today..x

[Nicki1984]

Sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. Ask your doctor for advice, meds and support i.e. Counselling. There is sunshine behind that dark cloud but sometimes we are not strong enough and need a bit more support to get through the dark times. Good luck x

[Agora1]

Vicki, we need to know that you are safe. Please let us know where you are right now emotionally. The forum does not take this lightly and will send help out to you if you so need it. Stay Safe, Stay in Touch x

[Vicki1973 in reply to Agora1]

I'm at home the suicide attempts happened weeks ago x

[Agora1 in reply to Vicki1973]

Thank you for replying. x

[Hidden]

Hello Vicki

I am so sorry that you are so low at this moment Anxiety & Depression can make us feel like what is the point in carrying on but trust me there is every point even when you feel there is no hope there is always hope and try and keep hold of any last bit of hope you have because you will have that in you even though everything is feeling so overpowering at this moment

Don't worry about anything at this moment in time , nothing matters not work or anything they can all be sorted when and if , the most important thing is " You" you are the only thing you have to put all your energy into getting well , the rest can wait

Are you getting any support ? you need to keep fighting till you get the right support , it is out there but sometimes we have to shout the loudest to get it and keep asking till you do but please you are precious and your life is to so don't think that ending it is the answer because it is not

Have you looked at all the Support contact details at the side of the page ?

We are not capable of getting you the support you need but we can give you advise what we would do and we can listen and we do really care as we have all suffered or still are from this dreadful illness , I will pop you the link on to the Contact numbers and please use them if you need them

healthunlocked.com/anxietys...

There is also a very good Depression Community on Health Unlocked and I am a big believer in getting all the help and support you can get , so I will pop the link so you can also have a look on that Community to and hopefully you will not feel so alone and no people are here to listen

healthunlocked.com/depressi...

Please let us know how you are doing

Take Care x

[Vicki1973 in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou so much lu lu

I'm getting support from the NHS but waiting lists are so long

[Hidden in reply to Vicki1973]

Hello

I know what the NHS is like and the waiting lists to and it really is not good enough especially when people are so low like you

After you suicide attempts I really would have thought they would have given you a Crisis team you could contact

If you feel low please pick up that phone to either the NHS or your Doctors , remember Samaritans are there to talk to 24/7 because sometimes just hearing a human voice at the other end of the phone can help

We are always here to so remember that as well , just pop on there is always someone to listen and again knowing someone is listening to us can be a comfort

Have you family that you can call on for support ? I know they don't always understand but I am sure they care

Remember you are important in this world , you are as good as anyone else in this world and needed in this world to despite what this illness is telling you , maybe you are going through this so you can help the next person that is suffering that comes along who knows but you are worth so much , don't let this beat you , keep nagging at the Doctor despite the waiting list tell them you feel you cannot go on any longer , they will have to listen eventually

I really hope you get all the help you deserve x

[Vicki1973 in reply to Hidden]

I've had the crisis team and I'm under a support worker although it seems good when I'm speaking to them I still feel the same when I have left after about an hour

[Hidden in reply to Vicki1973]

O I am pleased you have a team around you , the crisis team do they give you an emergency number if you need them if they do use it when you do feel you need them , never ever feel you will be a nuisance in doing so because you won't be , remember it is their job and they get paid to care after people suffering with issues

Totally understand , when someone is in front of you talking to you , things start to make more sense and you feel that little bit better , slightly secure as well and then once you are on your own it is like everything they have said goes straight out of our brains but that is because it takes a while for our brains to retrain in the way they have become programmed to think through the anxiety and depression , so don't worry eventually you will start to remember the things they teach you with coping with this but like I said it will take time but you will get there and now you can also come and talk with us and maybe something we say now and again may help to x

[shopgirl2007 in reply to Vicki1973]

Hi Vicki. First let me say your life is worth it so please don't give up. Second I've suffered the lost severe depression people can have and after t yrs in hospital yes 5 yrs in hospital after many serious attempts to end my life after nursing 6 immediate family to they died in 10 months and domestic violence marriage and losing my son and then having lose my home belongings with 2 ak47 old baby and 2 yrs ok after just nearly losing my life to secondary post partum haemorrhage and 24 pints blood my depression returned as I was isolated and my baby was violently ill undiagnosed many months but turned out be allergic to baby milk baby food as wheat sugar glucose intolerant. I just wanted give up again as I was moved by police to village no shops or service lost all my belongings but that was just the start of what I was going to suffer. I sent through far worse. Both I and my daughter raped I had cancer before I moved by police at 22 and again after I moved at 26. So hysterectomy and double mastectomy in 4 yrs.the raped were after but I turned them into something positive as I needed channel the hate and legal system letting me down constant so I went to college study law and made tv programmes about criminal justice system to channel the negatives into positives. Not all good from there as the person who raped me then found us through a court and raped my 12 yr old and she's suffered severe depression and anxiety and at times blamed me for What's happened to her even though I no control over it and want my fault. I was disabled severely by the same man in my attack and been left bedridden after already losing 2 husbands to sudden death and 7 yrs ago last 3 family died and husband in 8 mths. I got my daughter in my college which she attends doing a degree although doesn't care about me and doesn't bother with me until she neexs somdthinv or falls out with everyone which hurts but i sti selcime her anx help her when it happens. If i can go through all this and ive not told you the worst them i know you can oull throuvh. Ive had no one since bedridden and only 41 so not old. But i channel my timd info fighting cayses for others had laws changed and made. Life is what you make it. You can either give up or you can say I'm not strong enough right now to take the world on but i wi just focus on each minute getting throuvh that then every hour should be your aim then half a day to a fu day then once you can do that you need set yourself goals to achieve. Nothing big that you'll fail. I remember setting myself 3 goals. 1 was to walk in pub on my own which was terrifying to order drink sit down drink it and walk home. I did that. So next was alive radio shoe quiz so did that. Then counselling. I did 15 yrs of every type counselling inc child dynamic therapy and adult dynamic therapy. Went back study law twice as interrupted by violent attacks I mentioned. Now as i said i fight for others and try change things and fight councils and agencies who let people down and fight for the most vulnerable. Fight now you nedxfocus on every minute then every hour. Go back to your dr and demand a pyschoayroc assessment even though in my heart they don't do anything for suicidal as I seen them 4 times in 18 months suicidal and with my history that's significant. People don't understand how underfunded it is and the money and services ate only going to 24 yrs and younger. If your not in that age bracket you get nothing. So if you can get anything you got help yourself by trying distract time so you get through minutes not hours. Hot baths help relax then try sleep but exercise helps increase good hormones called endorphins which make you feel better. Try read or watch something funny not sad . Get a cat or dog that depends on you look after it so you got something else to focus on other than yourself plus pets are therapeutic . Clean up. Do anything that distracts and fills time. I'm guessing you either got no family of are estranged from them do try what I've suggested. Keep battling. Don't give up please. I don't give up and if you knew my latest story you'd wonder shy I keep going but I keep going for my cats and now my pup. Sending love And wishes.

[Finglas-Boy]

If I didn't wanna return to work I wouldn't - simple as - No job is worth your sanity. Take it from someone who found out the hard way!

[Vicki1973 in reply to Finglas-Boy]

I know but feel I have to go back at some point

[Finglas-Boy in reply to Vicki1973]

Just make sure it's right for you. You're the only one that matters. And it seems we have a quite unique fellowship here which I'm gonna enjoy being around. You're kind enough to be responding to me. That works both ways.

[Vicki1973 in reply to Finglas-Boy]

What's your story if you don't mind sharing

[Finglas-Boy in reply to Vicki1973]

Do I just do that here or on my profile?

[Mumof347 in reply to Vicki1973]

You don't have to go until you are absolutely ready and well again as you will only get more sick. Your health is more important. I am currently off work with my health and I wont go until or if im ready x

[Anxietyfree]

Try this Www.clinical-depression.co.uk..... Its a new take. Hope it helps x

[iyaa]

Vicki! Taking your life is not good look at me my depression started December 2016 till now I also thought of ending my life but I think of my two little gals tht I love so much untill I join to this group in may.be strong my lady all wil be well

[Youcanbeatit]

No do not give up ! You can do this ! I've gone trough anxiety symptoms for 2 years and they started getting better after I gained knowledge about it and started to challenge it . If you need to talk to someone email me at [e-mail] . I would be glad to help you out!