Posting some of my late night processes

We attract what we fear. When we let the fear of something consume our lives, we meditate on it 24/7. We start behaving in ways that further affirm those fears and it grows and grows until we have this disorder sitting in our laps.

I found that in the height of my anxiety, something small could come up and I would give it the same attention that I would give to all my other scary symptoms - I would give it everything I had. I found that I was so quick to discredit sound thinking and the positives of the day and magnify anything negative, or any possibility of anything negative until my every second was spent on this new symptom.

One question I started asking myself was this, "Was it a bad day, or a bad 5 minutes?" When I got to thinking about it, a lot of the time, it was a bad five minutes that I dwelt on the whole day. That's a lot of days wasted! So, I began to train my thoughts to be positive. I began to think and dwell on all that's good. On all the things that could go right, even when I felt terrible, I just kept believing this was the way out, and that its not a reset, but a bump in the road. I kept believing and kept believing and praying and I started to feel moments that I hadn't felt in 4 years. I would cling to those moments and trust God with all my heart and not on my own understanding, I believed that this would all end, day after day. I'm so happy lately and feel free for the first time in so long. I had lost three jobs and a marriage from this and had to move back in with my parents. I was a worst case scenario and I'm on the other side and I know that you will be too!

Practice starting now, anytime you find yourself thinking a negative thought, kick it out. I would visualize a black chalkboard and chalk dust "poofing" the thought away, but whatever works for you. Start entertaining what your dreams are. Where do you want to be? What do you want to do? VISUALIZE yourself at the top. That's where you're meant to be! That's where you will be! WINNER!

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9 Replies

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  • Easier said that done, but certainly rumination is very bad

  • A refreshingly positive and optimistic post. Thank you!!!!!! 🎀🌻🌴

  • Hi, how long did it take for you to get better?

  • From the moment I say okay, no more and commit and push myself to the limit, probably like 2-3 months? With every day getting better, but I can't visit the past. That's the hardest part. That, and changing your thoughts.

  • Thank You.

  • Very inspiring. 😊

  • Thanks, Vhariford

  • I've had anexity my whole life , but always blew it off or delt with it . In recent months it came on an came on strong . I'm a mother of four . I lost my job , dropped out of school ...and lost who I was. My mother died 2 years ago an in December I ended a 7 year realionship. I was thinking maybe all the stress just hit me at once . Anyways I too had a hard time leaving my house ...being alone, still do. I have turned my life over to God . I spend time with him every morning, I give Thanksgiving. And I do the same at night. Honestly I've felt better than I ever felt . Today though I had to drive to the town over an went over a bridge ..freaked on the way over was okay once I got where I was going an than once I knew I had to go back I painiced even more so. ( Was not a big bridge) all I could think was I wanted to go home. Once I got home I was fine, but I had an eriey feeling as I usual do when I panic. So I got in God's word.. it took awhile but I've noticed as I lay here hours later , it's the fear of it still comes that gets me ..one of the reason I'm looking up articles on it. One of my biggest things with this is the thoughts I get , bad thoughts ... Ugh I hate it . But I tell my self I walk with God I he loves me an he is making me better . Well just wanted to get this out there an let people know your not alone,!! And to me that is so important because I see people out an having fun an think , why am I the only one who can't live? Hope this helps someone . Btw I'm 31. And never took medication for this an won't .

  • You made a very good observation here. Something in fact that had recently crossed my mind. I found myself asking " why, all of a sudden, during your anxiety, are you able to focus so much attention on what you are " feeling" and not give a second thought to the good things that have taken place or the fact that ' it could be worse'?. It's almost as if after my panic attach and downhill spiral that followed I now have to relearn how to be outside of my head and into the real world again. I have been living in that space, that 'normal' space for the majority of my life, I must reboot and find that place again. So weird how anxiety does this. I am working on breaking free every day =) and am doing 65% better than I was when I just started posting weeks ago. Progress!

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