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Hi everyone. My name is Marty and I suffered a mental breakdown in December 2012. I was experiencing severe anxiety. I admitted myself to the emergency room twice in a 3 day period during this time, and was unable to eat, sleep, or do much of anything other than pace around my house shaking and sobbing violently. I dropped 20 lbs in a month. Thankfully I sought help. I have a great therapist and psychiatrist who have helped me work out a lot of my issues, although there's still a long way to go. I'm on 2 antidepressants (Lexapro and Remeron) along with Klonopin to take the edge off.

I still deal with a lot of issues, though. My self esteem isn't very good and I haven't been performing well at work (I think a book title explains it best: "smart but scattered") lately, so I was put on a performance improvement plan. Obviously this was very stressful because I was worried about losing my job and everything that would go along with that. I've always been a worrier but since 2012 its been far worse, and I tend to do a lot of catastrophising, worrying about the past and the future.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

It's nice meeting you all. :)

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8 Replies

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  • Hi

    Have you tried mindfulness?

    :-)

  • Yes I have. It tends to work usually, but today I needed to do a whole lot of it to calm down. Also, its hard to be mindful when in the middle of an anxiety attack.

  • You know Martman, I totally agree with you. Very difficult to calm down when in a full blown attack. The thing I strive for is daily practice so that I don't get to that point of no return. Like practicing for a fire drill when we were in school. If it should happen, we would march outside like little soldiers. Oh you will still feel the pangs of fear but will accept them more easily and hopefully they won't escalate to unrelenting heights.

  • Breathing is a good place to start when experiencing an attack. Belly breathing with short inhalation and long fkowing exhalation will make the body calm down.... This in turn leads to a calmer more rational mind 🤓

  • Hi Martman and welcome to the Anxiety Forum.. It's nice to see you ended your post with a little humor. That's a good sign :)

    Sometimes a major life event can bring us over the edge and sometimes the mind can't handle any more stress and we suffer a mental breakdown. The thing is you knew you needed help desperately and took yourself to the ER, not once but twice. (whatever it takes to make the point that you needed help NOW)

    I'm amazed that you are able to work, give yourself credit for that. It's also great that you have a therapist and psychiatrist and are on medication, so you are moving in the right direction. It takes time but as you address your issues and the meds reach efficacy levels, you will continue making progress.

    Keep coming to the forum where you will get the support and understanding you need as well as not feel so alone. My best to you Martman!

  • Hello & Welcome :-)

    Like the end bit " That's my story and I am sticking with it " :-D

    We all have are own stories how we suffer or have suffered with anxiety and it is the only one we have so we have to stick with it but what we have to do is try and learn how to live with it :-)

    Most with anxiety have very low self esteem it comes hand in hand something we have to work on but sounds like you are getting exactly the right support to do this and slowly things will get better but takes time

    I think it is best not to question to much "why " have I ended up like is but to accept it and then work on it which sounds again like you are doing and you are doing a very good job despite whatever you may feel , to work your way through as you are doing you should give yourself some credit !

    We cannot change the past and that it was it is the past never to be relived again but we can change the future , at the same time we don't know what that may be so we can worry and it could be all for nothing or the best way is to always tell ourselves I only have today to think about because we do and anything is possible to get through just a day at a time :-)

    You will get many like minded people to talk to now you have found this Community and I hope even if in a small way it will help as well as I am sure you will have lot's to offer others to :-)

    Take Care x

  • Hi ... Welcome.. Glad you've found us .. Onwards and upwards now .. We all have a story, yours not dissimilar to a lot of us but they are all personal and we all deal with it differently.. Glad that you're getting help . It can and often does get easier you learn to see a lot of it for what it is ..just symptoms of our over active minds that manifest in our bodies, driving us crazy.. You will heal and mend if you trust what your told and believe it's anxiety , some days will be great some you'll take a step back but all the time you'll get stronger because you'll understand the illness better .. Take care.

  • "unable to eat, sleep, or do much of anything other than pace around my house shaking and sobbing violently. I dropped 20 lbs in a month."

    Wow this was exactly me in November of 2011! I had a miscarriage and my hormones went crazy and it put me in such a bad state. Constant panicked attacks- i would just pace through the house non stop. I would drink one ensure during the day just to get some calories. For 5 weeks I was like this until I went back on lexapro. I lost over 20lbs too! Lexapro was my savior until it stopped working last April which took me awhile to find out that was issue as I was having breakthrough anxiety like crazy. I switched psychiatrist and they put me on Zoloft in February and it is definitely helping. Still have bad days but they are fewer now. It's just one day at a time!

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