I'm not having a good day and I'm dwelling over being sick in June . I think it really traumatized me to the point where I became so sensitize . And sure I had a fever loss of appetite went to the doctor had a CT scan done there were swollen lymph nodes in my mesentery . That could've been caused by some virus or bacteria but for me it has to be something worse .It was a very long recovery for me I was sick for months unable to eat. For me as though I felt like there had to be an underlining reason why . I've been to my G.I. doctor plenty of times . She says that I'm fine . they've done blood test and stool samples . however she thinks that colonoscopy and further investigation is not needed . So I don't have a fever anymore and I haven't for quite some time until I got sick on Monday which I think was a bug I had a mild fever and cramping of the tummy and I threw up now I'm sitting here connecting all of those symptoms to what happened in June like what if something is progressing inside of my body and their misdiagnosing me . I guess I've had horrible heartburn for a few days . I actually feel like I can breathe fire and there's a lump in my throat when I swallow so now I think I have some sort of illness that is now going to cause me to throw up if I eat I've got to get over this because I can't go on like this anymore . I find myself going back into this dark place again that I didn't think I was going to visit again . Why can I just trust my doctor I just don't understand why I can't trust my doctor . I guess I just feel like my stomach never went totally back to normal and I feel like they're not listening to me because they know I have anxiety . Wake up every morning thinking about it I go to sleep every night thinking about it . Anytime I get any feeling remotely like I had in June I feel like oh boy here comes coming back again ! But it's probably not it's just me mindfucking myself 😒
Last edited by JoMarie5
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