I have traced the most of my anxiety down to work, specifically how I work. I work 4-6 hrs a day. I get stuff done. My managers and my boss tell me they don't mind at all that I leave early. As long as I get stuff done. And they have told me again and again that not only am I getting stuff done, I'm getting a lot of stuff done. Sometimes even more then the lead programmer is getting done.
So i'm trying to put together an affirmation to mediate on that sums all this up. Today I came up with:
"The way you work is ok"
That just doesn't seem strong enough to me, but I can't think of another way to put it.
If I could get my self to believe that that the time and way that I work is ok, that no one cares about it but me, and to just let go of it.. then I think I could really free up a lot of anxiety. I just have a hard time with it.
Everyone else works 6-8 hrs a day. That is they stay at the office that long. People at my office work from home a lot. Who knows what they are doing at home, but it seems like everyone is getting tasks done at their own pace, and no boss manager minds at all. I feel guilty that I am leaving earlier than everyone else. But my managers have told me no one cares. They know i'm going to beat the traffic. They know i'm getting stuff done and not slacking.
How can get this into me. Meditating on a good affirmation seems like a good idea to me. I had just been doing mindfulness meditation everyday, but maybe i should switch to meditating on a good affirmation.