How Dare they think we are faking ANXIETY!

So, I am offically and medically diganosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Panic Attacks and I suffer from Agoraphobia.  Today I am having an exceptionally good day and on my own go visit a friend.  Mind you, I hardly ever leave my house to go anywhere unless it is absolutely necessary.   Anyhow, we are having lunch at a restaurant and she says she had given up on asking or inviting me to do anything because I never want to go anywhere or do anything.  So I said,  "You know I struggled with really bad anxiety problems.  I hate that I have this condition and wish more than anything in this world for this anxiety to just disappear." Then my friend says that I shouldn't let that from living life and I am putting my own self in a prison.  That its just like a cancer patient saying they cant do this or that because they have cancer.  What?  No.  I dont do this or that because I have horrible anxiety symptoms.  It litterally feels like I am dying.  Like the whole world is going to end.  It makes me sad when friends or people who are supposed to care about me treat me like I am faking everything.  Like I am making it all up!!  I dont want to be this way.  Nobody in their right minds would want this.  I dont wish this evil anxiety on my worst enemy!! But if people could just feel what this is like for 1 hour or feel just one panic attack they would never doubt us ever again. Sorry, this is so long but my heart goes out to ALL the anxiety suffers out there and pray we all get better once and for all.

11 Replies

  • Hi  panicnomore99,  you have been diagnosed with everything I have as well as others on this forum.  So you know that we understand all too well what you are feeling.  I am very surprised that you were able to do lunch today.  Everyone who doesn't have anxiety seems to think that would be the cure, if we just got out.  It hurts to have to turn down invitations and miss family events.  For me, it's embarrassing as well.  I think they wonder why we never get well or die from this disorder.  Being in this forum has not only made me know I'm not alone but gives me back my sanity and validation. I hope we can share more stories whether success or struggling.  Welcome to the group.  x

  • I know it's frustrating isn't it. It's very hard to understand unless you have experienced it. I'm sure your friend means well they just don't get it and lucky for them :)

  • Good on you for getting out there and putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation, I am doing the same at the moment and it is sooooo hard and terrifying. There are so many people that will never understand, and I know what you mean but giving them a quick dose of what we have to show them how we feel, if only we could huh. Pat yourself on the back for getting out of your comfort zone, and don't let anyone's perception of anxiety get you down. All the stories and wonderful people on this forum is proof that it's not as simple as just switching off a light, or we would.... Take care and don't give up. 

  • Hi panicnomore99 I understand how your feeling I suffer GAD disorder. It got so bad at one stage for 6 weeks I couldn't leave my house. I was physically sick I trembled I couldnt eat.I thought I was gonna die my weight went down hill. The fear of loosing control, the thoughts I had were out of control I was at my worst. I couldn't sit in the house on my own someone had to be with me I thought I was going insane😢😢. It's something I never wanted to go through again. I was hanging on by a thread to be hospitalised. The doctor was called he gave me lexapro and dizaphene (valum) encouraged me to get out to walk if it was only 5 mins a day. I had 2 kids at the time and I had to try for there sake they knew I wasn't well and they were scared😭I can still see there little faces I had to try for them. I did it was the hardest experience of my life. But I did it☺that's 2 yrs ago now and I'm a flying. I changed my way of thinking,eating don't drink anymore never smokEd.  I run most days I've done some kick boxing classes which I defo benefitted from. The human brain is so powerful and if you just start by changing one thing a day about yourself you'll get the power to overcome this horrible dreaded anxiety panic that is not allowing you to liverify.  

    People who never suffered this do not have a clue and look at you with ten heads. You and I and everyone else on this site know it's real. And we will fight it together and support each other. 

    I have just sat my exams for my nursing so hope to start mental health nursing in September. I wanna help people with mental health problems. If I can do it so can you😉sending hugs and kisses your way x 


  • Encouraging reading Trisha, thanx for sharing that. I even find when consulting the dr they don't fully understand what it's like to live with anxiety & try & conquer panic attacks. But I know I will get through it in time and you are testament to that.

  • Maybe your friend is just trying to help. Of course she can't really understand but maybe she hopes that by taking this ' tough' line with you it might motivate you. It doesn't sound as if she is trying to upset you. How can anyone who hasn't experienced it understand ? 

    My daughter comes round regularly and sometimes I just want her to go away as I the effort of speaking and responding to her ideas of what might help me is too much.

    But she has made that effort to be there. She is trying to help my need. I own it to her to try to interact and help her to feel she is helping me. Sometimes I tell her that I just need to be alone. She will respect that. But if I do that every time the she will feel helpless and that will be bad for her.

    Non anxiety sufferers cannot fully grasp what we are going through but that doesn't mean they don't try to be of help in the best way they can.


  • Just wanted to say it does flare up a bit close to my period but it's nowhere near what I experienced in the past. But I just pop on head phone and out the door and run always works x😊

  • Good on you panicnomore99 :) I have the same problem with the Agoraphobia. I got bullied really badly at school about the way I look & now I just hate the way I look & feel very uncomfortable in public places like everyone is looking at me & laughing :( I have a big scar on my head from an accident also which I am very insecure about & no hair. The list goes on :( I suffer really badly from anxiety also. I never have any of my friends around. Most of them only ever see me in a hat to hide my baldness & my scar so am really embarrassed when they see me with no hat :( I hate this! I do try & go to every family event I get invited to. Anyway hope you can overcome this problem one day! Good luck Rod.

  • Hello

    I can really relate to what you say here I have agoraphobia to but just recently I have been challenging myself with little outings , they have to be when I get the urge though :-)

    I have had a friend for years and the last 10 years or more it has been more like telephone friends because of me not getting out freely but I have mentioned several times we should get together and go for a bite to eat , no where far because I am in the early stages of trying to leave the house and over the last 10 years whenever I have mentioned I don't get to see her she has always said well it is hard with you not been able to get out now I keep making this offer the reply always comes back that she is ever so busy and just does not have the time at the moment , so what is that all about :-o

    It has left me feeling that I am just a telephone friend only or that is what I have become to listen to her problems and help sort them out which has also left me feeling rather angry and frustrated but still I know you can't change others , I have often thought you can but I know I can only change me and the way I react , still does not stop you feeling hurt though especially when they are friends you have known for years or sometimes even family !

    Take Care x   

  • It's hard for people that don't go through things like these to understand that you can't just snap out of panic attacks or anxiety.  It's one thing not to understand, but making ignorant remarks and being judgemental is another. 

     Some people are downright clueless, but don't let them ruin your day.

  • No need to be sorry about voicing your opinion. My Dad can't understand why I just couldn't shake this off last year and just get on with things. Even when I explained about the fear and panic of leaving the house and the nightmares I was having at the time. He admitted he found it hard to understand. Worse still was the psychiatrist who told me to just smile. I just shock my head and cried. Boy did I cry a lot last year, just felt like I could never stop. I never even cried at sad films before last year.

    It's tough and it doesn't help when people think you are pulling a fast one and just being lazy.

    I know I am one of the lucky ones to be as far on as I am with being able to get of the house this year and manage most things that I want to do. I still have the days when it all starts to flare up again, but I am getting better with coping.

    I always think about everyone else that is suffering from anxiety and depression and always wish that everyone can have a good day.

    Take care and I wish many more good days.


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