We Will over come!!

[AmazedEye]

I have been experiencing anxiety from September however it did start to take over until late October after my third abortion. I was a wreck.. I became hypersensitive to any little feeling and continuously told myself what whatever I felt I deserved it .. not knowing that I was fueling this giant. I worried everday.. every day that I would either die or something serious is going on with me. After s while of battling I decided to go to the doctor. I had EKGS fine numerous times.. blood test, urine tests and they also had me on a heart monitor.. I was sent home with nothing to worry about except a UTI and he said that I had PTSD ..felt so calm after because I could finally say nothing was wrong but the pills I got for the UTI was apparently too strong .. a week later I got sharp headaches and felt lightheaded all the time so I stopped taking the medication. The following day I went for a jog where I had a full bloom panic attack.. I thought that .. that was my final hour.. heart racing, dizzy, light headed, whole body in shock tingling, fingers and toes buzzing, could no concentrate, shallow breathing, chills.. it was scary. At the doctors office I sat there waiting for them to tell me the worst.. maybe a complication from my abortion .. however they did no tests he just started talking to me and demanded answers.. an hour had past and i didn't realize that all my symtoms had been gone and I was breathing normally.. he said look at you .. you have anxiety .. I'm looking at him in shock because I could've sworn I would have had to been rushed to the hospital .. he gave me Ativan 2mg that I only took for four days at bed time and that made me feel so much better.however the following week the chest pains had become a new welcoming factor because I was more cautious of how I was breathing frightened that it would happen again.. I coped with it and was able to sleep with it as well with no medication .. it came and went.. to me it was subsiding..until one night I was sound a sleep I felt a sharp pain in my side.. I was worried, annoyed, frighthed, what can be wrong now.. I couldn't move .. started worrying a wholesome .. I felt my chest, shoulders and arms getting tense .. I googled every symtom only to find the worst. I was frightened at the time my period had just started too for the first time after my abortion and it was heavy heavy with a lot of back pain... by the time I saw the doctor my heart beat was out the roof !! He checked me again and told me that the uti had returned and prescribed me augumentin for the infection. Cletamol for the pain and xanax 0.25 for the anxiety.. the xanax did NOTHING I even doubled up on the dose.. I was so miserable at the time insomnia was trying to take over..i was being jolted out of my sleep. I basically live by myself so it's scary..and that adds more to the anxiety you know,. I always think my heart can stop any minute .. What if something was to happen and im here crippled on the floor. Within that same week I went to the doctor again who ran another urine test as well as EKG and she looked me in my eyes and assurrsrd everything was normal and that I should seek Theraphy before it tries to take over anymore.. so Thursday I went to my first CBT who basically listed all the symtom that I have explaining to me where they could have stemmed from and that they are physosomatic.. I left the office feeling a bit of relief but still came home to my worrying mind that something else is WRONG it's so frustrating but I'm will to try anything to get some help.. the therapist told me that the xanax dose was too low and that I should take 1mg. I went back to my doctor who took a look at me again and recommended that I try yoga.. he also gave meativan 2mg for 2weeks as I am on the road to recovery and battling this horrible thing.. it's been two days my chest pains, arm, shoulder and neck tensions are to a minimum.. I'm still worry 😒😩 but I believe in things getting better in time with consistency.. I've had a better appitite but not like I used to.. I cut out the clubs and drinking alcohol. I love talking to people about what I'm going through even if it's for 5 minutes.. that 5 minutes iget relief... does anyone feel the same? Moving sharp chest pains, arm aches and muscle tension, randomized fatigue.. constantly worry about death or that there may be something else wrong ?? I need someone I can relate to.