Anxiety is over coming me

Hey my name is Katrina I'm new to having Anxiety problem it's really bad I lost my fiance on Nov22,2015 sudden and with no answers every since that day I have been having chest pains that shot from one side to the other,I have problems breathing my heart racing so fast it a scares me to death .I have trouble sleeping at night I jump up every5 mins thinking I stop breathing and my heart be even faster .my legs and hands go numb the first thing that comes to mind is I'm having heart attack or a stroke my mind goes crazy noise get to me and my heart race I'm so afraid and the people around me don't understand they think I'm going crazy because every. Day I have more pain.I have had ekg done x-rays blood work and they say I'm fine anxiety and a broken heart but I feel like it's so much more because I took my fiance to the er complaining about chest pain and that she couldn't breath come to find out she was bleeding in the i side and really couldn't breath they did nothing for her for hours we set there them at 1 they came gave her meds to slow her heart down and she went into shock and they lost her....so I'm very afraid that they are missing something with me because the day be for that she was taken to the er and they seen nothing and sent her home....now I have lost.u house car and the beautiful family I built....so my life has been left upside down and I'm left with a 1year old baby girl....ever pain I think the worst I shake all day my nerves are bad someone please tell me I'm not alone

22 Replies

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  • Dearest Katrina First of all I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You have been through a terrible tragedy. The shock of it all is still so fresh and your body is responding to it.

    When someone dies suddenly, your mind doesn't have time to grasp what has happened. You can't prepare in some way for the final hours. The doubts about what your own body is experiencing is causing your anxiety. You do need a therapist to help you with your grief and maybe even some medication for a short time. Right now, you have been given more than you can handle. Being responsible for a 1 year old baby is an added fear right now. Remember that you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of the baby as well. You are living with the "what if" right now. Fear begets fear. You are not alone. Anxiety is very scary. Tell yourself that you will be okay, you need to be strong for yourself and the baby. Everyone here at this forum is kind, caring and supportive. Continue to use us as a crutch to get through this most difficult time of your life. A therapist on the other hand with teach you coping skills to help you through each day. I care. xo

  • Thank you for reaching out and replying I didn't think any one would really read it more less reply I'm almost in tears right now just to know someone cares and that I'm not alone

  • Anxiety is a lonely disorder. Unless someone has gone through it themselves, they can't understand. It is a physical hurt as well as emotional. Take my hand and that of the others and we will go through this together. Sending a hug. xo

  • Your not alone. That is what these forums are for. Stay strong xx

  • I don't mean this in a condescending way so please do not take it that way......

    You do not have a disorder, you have had a SHIT TIME. Jesus Christ, I think pretty much everybody in the world would feel the same way right now. I feel awful for you, what a terrible thing to happen, and I'm not surprised you're so anxious. Please be assured that the way you feel is natural. I'm sure they haven't missed anything, so please try not to worry about your health (explaining to your doctor why you are worried and about losing your fiance may help you out here, they will understand). But to really stress: Don't beat yourself up about being anxious either, nor see it as a disorder right now. You've been through hell.

    My friend lost his girlfriend to cancer and confided in me that he thinks all sorts of symptoms he has are cancer now, although he didn't worry about that kind of thing before. You know, I think it's really natural to have these worries after such a horrible thing happens because it's on your mind.

    I hope you begin to feel better soon. This will pass. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve, don't rush it, and my best advice with this anxiety is just to explain it to those who are close to you. I think with some support things will get easier.

  • I am so sorry that this terrible thing has happened to you. You are overwhelmed with grief and your body is reacting by giving you physical symptoms. This is a dreadful feeling and many of us here have had similar responses to loss. I'm sure it would help if you could find a bereavement counselor. There is often a need to go over the events again and again and that is best done in the company of a skilled helper, whether that turns out to be a friend, relative or professional, so you can start to process what has happened. This will not be a quick fix but it it will help you. This forum is a life line for many and hope you will find it a support.

  • Katrina,

    I agree with the others, you've had a terrible loss and you're experiencing anxiety due to that loss and how it happened. I'm so sorry that you lost your loved one. Your symptoms are all due to anxiety which you write about in the title of your post...showing you understand that.

    If you can't bring yourself to relax enough to get these symptoms under control, you need to see your GP for a prescription for anxiety medicine to take for a little while. You have to be able to sleep and care for your baby girl. When you detect yourself breathing too quickly, try to slow it down. Also, you can distract yourself by focusing on things that you like or that keep you busy. Your mind can only handle just so much at one time. Focusing on things that absorb your attention can help relieve anxiety to a degree. Exercise can lessen it, too. You will find you do have some control over your degree of anxiety. If these methods don't work right now, try them at a later point in time when your body is more able to respond.

  • Dear Katrina, I am so sorry to read what you have been going through, the shock must have been awful. Now you are going through the aftermath of all the trauma. The physical symptoms you describe are all connected to the death of your fiancé and you need to seek help quickly because of your baby. You do not mention family so one must presume you are alone with this. Please seek help from a bereavement counciller like Bagrat suggested as they are experts in this field. We all want to help you and remove your pain and suffering but only time can do this. During my life I have lost close family and friends to various illnesses. One thing I do know is that when something unexpected like you have experienced the shock is far greater. Please find someone professional ASAP for the sake of the baby, she needs her Mum and is dependant on you. We are all thinking of you, please remember you are NOT alone. Much love 😊😊😊😊😊

  • I am also very sorry for your loss. You need many kinds of support right now - physical, emotional and practical. Your family may not fully understand but they love you-so keep reaching out to them- and they may surprise you..that is what happened to me.

  • The grief resulting from losing a loved one manifest itself in various ways. You are not your fiance. If the doctor says you are okay, choose to believe it. Conjuring up scenarios in your head will only make things worst. Ask God to grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know what you can change and what you can't (leave that to God). Try to focus on the good things in your life, like your baby girl. See a therapist to talk things out. No, you are not alone. People grieve in different ways.

  • I believe you need help to get through this see your GP for a relaxant and put

    You faith in the Lord and ask for healing x

  • What is gp

  • Your family doctor

    Thinking of you Katrina..

  • ❤️Xx

    I think it could be panic attacks hunni really really sorry to hear xx

  • I wasnt even going through a loss but I also used to get sharp pains on my heart it felt like it was going down my left arm too. I would even feel like I was losing consciousness and then I would panic and have to walk around and had all these thoughts rushing in my brain. I went to the hospital 2 times to be told I had a normal heart. I didnt want to believe it was anxiety but when the doctor told me that thats all it was I got a little relieved. I was suffering from this for about 7 months before going to the doctor. I even lost some friends because I always felt weird things happening to me throughout the day. You just have to try to be happy as much as you can and distract your mind from anything that makes you think something bads happening to you.

    I know its the worst feeling ever and not knowing why it happens is even worse but in your case I can assure you its anxiety. if you have to get an xray just to make sure everything is looking normal then you should but staying relaxed is key on any case.

  • Thank you all for the support I'm so happy I was doing research and came across this website I'm on meds for the anxiety they say it take a while to really help but I quit smoking and drinking I'm focusing on living a healthy life for our baby she needs me and my family does to I have ten nieces by one sister and I'm the one who holding this family together.im a manager at family dollars I have alot of responsibility.I'm just scared that I will stop breathing or worst but I know its mind over matter..I have to put the cigarette down now and hit the gym more thinking bout taking up boxing to let the steam off.but I only no meds can really he'll me thru this God is the only one who can fight this battle

  • A good start Katrina in taking hold of your life. May God give you the strength

    you need. xo

  • Hi Katrina, thinking about you and wondering how you are doing now that the holidays are over. I hope the baby is doing well. Take care xo

  • I'm still going thru the same but I give it to god to fight this battle and my baby girl is doing great she is the rock for me

  • Katrina, I'm sorry you are still having to struggle with the symptoms of anxiety. It is a battle to deal with everyday. It's very wearing. Giving your pain to a higher power is the best thing you can do. I'm glad your baby girl is doing well. She is your rock, there is a reason for everything and right now that baby will give you the strength you need to face each new challenge in life. May God watch over both of you and keep you safe. xo

  • Thank you I just got up and was in tears crying my heart out feeling like I was dying and the world was on my shoulders but I cried I prayed n asked god for the strength and told him I know this battle is not mine

  • My prayers and thoughts are with you today.....

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