Taking control

Since late September I confronted several fears of mine in an aid to improve my anxiety and depression and for the most part it has been successful. I still have much further to go but i am having much less anxiety attacks and depressive episodes but i am under no disillusion that i am somehow cured. I know i ill be managing my illnesses for the rest of my life but i believe they can be managed in such a way that they dont control me and diminish any hopes of a healthy lifestyle.

Today i am on day two of my attempt to rest my attitudes and expectation and to really reach for the things i want in life and not just accept my circumstances and roll over. Yesterday i weighed myself.. i am 20st 5lbs (285lbs) and i am only 5ft! This is simply not acceptable. I recently asked for a body workup at my local doctors practice and i have a clean bill of health but i know that things will not continue to be like that if i continue in this reckless manner and i will die before i am 40. Much of it has been my illnesses but i've also rolled over and just accepted my situation.

Today i went outside and walked. I didn't have any distance or location in mind, i just knew that to get better in my head and physically i had to get out. I just walked in and around my local town. I did a total of three miles or so and it felt nice to not have the feeling of dread facing the scary world outside my door. I feel calm and i would very much like to make it a regular thing. Over the years i have noticed more social anxiety behaviours and me staying indoors has not done me any favours.

So here i am... trying to take control and not being controlled. I want a better quality of life. I owe it to myself and I am a good person, I deserve to have a life filled with joy :)

so...big breaths ..I'm going to take back my life one baby step at a time

Thanks for reading

Jen

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9 Replies

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  • Walking is the best exercise to start out with. When I'm tired and fatigued I just walk. Even that alone can improve your health and adding simple things like push-ups and sit-ups is literally all you need.

  • Yes i agree and it will help me to get out and face the world I've been so hell bent on avoiding.

  • Hello I been facing my fears and panick attacks for almost a month now I feel so happy and proud of myself but the systoms of anxiety get bad sometimes i woke up with my arms and a lot other systoms from anxiety but I feel in more control now every time I faced a panick attack and see that it I went to all that fear and I didn't die or have a heart attacks I still alive it make me happy but the systoms after that are terrible also I m facing my fears with OCD disorder as well I m doing all this my self 22 year old female ;( is sad people have to go through this but I need to do what I need to do also when I get depressed because is not easy I think positive and happy I m really doing my best to get my life back thank you for reading ;)

  • Go on Jen little steps at a time your get there you have a great attitude right mind set well done keep going

  • Thank you. I just need to breathe, take baby steps and also talk when i am feeling like i am going to emotional eat

  • Keep going your get there slow but sure you seem so determine keep it up and you will see a light at the end of the tunnel

  • Awesome just keep encouraging yourself u will make it.

  • thank you, Its the end of day three and i am still going strong :)

  • Wonderful!! i think we all should give ourselves credit when its due sometimes we focus so much on the negative.

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