I am not sure what happened last night, I was fine until at 1am when I woke up and my imagination took over. I manged to get myself into an extreme panic, and was paralysed by fear. I lay awake until 5am thoughts going mad in my head.
I am constantly searching for a 'safe place' somewhere I fell the outside world can't harm me. I debated with myself for hours if I should move into my parents house. Working out accommodation, how it would work with my hubby and our pets. It is not a viable idea their house is small and we would be cramped into 1 bedroom with no room for our belongings.
This kept going over and over in my head, I nearly woke hubby up to ask him if we could do it but I know he would be the voice of reason and say no. Finally at 5am I took dome Rescue Remedy and Kalms and fell asleep.
I am not much better this morning, fear of something bad going to happen is taking over again. I know if I do this crazy move I to my parents I am just swapped one anxiety for another, the stress of living in a small house with my parents would try me mad and put strain on all my relationships.
I am so tired of being afraid and wanting to hide from the world in a massive ball of cotton wool.