Breaking Point

My daughter arranged a meal out today for her husbands Birthday for 17 people. Last moment i wanted to cancel but then my Husband would not have gone. I struggled big time on arrival my legs were shaking i felt anxiety over taking my body and wanted to scream and run out. During the meal my grandson needed feeding this i was willing to do to distract myself his 5 months bless him. I then went to the bathroom my daughter assisted me and then i broke down in tears saying i cannot do this. After awhile we went back to the table and after the meal went outside. I could have flopped down in a big heap the feeling was awful. The thing that is upsetting me is this is taking over my life and i feel its an uphill battle to cope and be normal again. When i arrived home i was shaking i am at breaking point because i cannot deal with this. I feel isolated and feel people who have never walked in my shoes don't understand. Do people think you enjoy being in a state and not feeling comfortable .......Sorry to moan but i am at breaking point.

Seyi x

12 Replies

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  • what you felt seyi was an anxiety attack, you wanted to run but you didn't, that is such an achievement and I hope in a few days you will see that.

    well done! that must have been so hard no wonder you feel shaky now, the effort it must have taken to go and then stay!

    are you on med's? if so, they might need reviewing. and no you are not moaning, you are sharing how things are.

    hope.you get to rest & recover,

    hugs (( :) ))

    sandra.

  • Hi Sandra

    Thanks for taking the time to answer my problem it helps when people do understand what your feeling and how uncomfortable the who event is. The only medication i am on right now is for the Vertigo which is getting a little better. I am not on anything else for panic and anxiety to be honest i am frightened about getting hooked but i suppose in desperation i would take anything just to have my life back. Hope you are well take care hugs

    Seyi x

  • I've postedt his before but thought it might help.

    when I was well I was so laid back I was coming round the other way! The last thing I thought I'd need were anti-depressants.

    My gp told me I wasn't a diabetic.

    He then asked if I were would I take Insulin? I said yes.

    Well, he said, you are lacking another body chemical, an imbalance; will you take a supplement?

    When I agreed he told me it was an anti-depressant because of low seratonin levels.

    What a genious! put that way it made such sense. it still does.

    please don't be put off by old beliefs, they can help. it is not weakness,

    regards, sandra

  • Thank you and yes i have been on medication for 2 weeks but still fell uneasy nervous and legs like jelly. When i go out i want to run back home.

    Thanks for you comments appreciate the lovely people here.

    Take care

    Hugs Seyi x

  • Totally agree with the above ^^.

    Defiantly see about the meds, or see about starting a small course of anti-depressants. You won't get addicted, and along with maybe some counselling they really help you calm down. :)

    Have you thought about perhaps contacting MIND, it is charity that runs one to one and group sessions to help people who are struggling with things like anxiety. It is open to anyone, I am a trainee teacher and I use it. It has a much shorter waiting list than the NHS and does drop in sessions at local GP's if you are feeling distressed. Talking it out to someone would make you feel lots better, especially someone who will understand! They will be able to tell you exactly what is wrong and you can start the road to recovery.

    It is amazing that you stayed and made it through the day for your family, even though you felt horrid. I have felt like that before, I once was supposed to be going for a meal, I made myself go, but I didn't want to eat the food I felt scared all the time, and then I just felt sick all night. I couldn't relax and I just felt like everyone else was having a good time and I was alone, looking at them through an invisible glass wall. Not part of it, and so alone. You have good days and bad days with anxiety. You are the lowest point now, so things will start getting better. You won't wake up tomorrow and feel well, but you are on the road to getting this sorted, proven in the fact you stayed and pushed yourself through the pain!

    Take this breaking point and break. Give up. Give up fighting the anxiety losing battle. Go and speak t someone or say to yourself it ends here. You will get better and things will be ok. Because I promise they will.

    All he best xxx

  • Hi Maryhig

    Thank you for the information regarding MIND i have heard about this before and will look into where sessions are available in my area. The medication i am on is for Vertigo only but have since developed this anxiety and panic attacks. Just feel as if i am not in control and its taking over my life which in turn makes me tearful etc., The last thing i want now is depression. My work place is going to arrange some Occupational Therapy so i will wait and see what i get from that. Its so nice to be able to have contact with people who have an understanding and i appreciate your time.

    Take care

    Love Seyi xxx

  • Hi Seyi

    It will get better dont worry and certainly dont punish yourself for it, Im sure your daughter will understand, it was lucky you had your beautiful grandson there to distract you. You already know what I go through and I was in a similar situation, on wednesday i attended a funeral of one of my wifes family members and I was unable to cope with the social situation and had to leave early, it was very uncomfortable but the first gathering I had been to since I started suffering from anxiety and panic disorder so that in itself was a big step for me.

    I know you have started some kind of therapy and your doctor is now aware of what you are experiencing so be patient things will get better just stay focussed on the fact that you are getting help. Time is the greatest healer. I know how desperate you feel, And remember you can always go back to your doctor and let them know whether things are progressing for you. The most important thing is to continue pursuing the support and help you need and things will get better. My therapy is helping me yes it is slow but I am determined i will get better and I would love to see you have that same determination and I think you will. If you can talk to your children or family and they can offer support that would be a bonus but if not you know you have to do the right thing for yourself which is to follow through on the help you are getting from your doctor and therapist.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on.

    Speak soon.

    Dimitri

  • OPPS The medication i am on right now is for Vertigo only although i have mentioned the panic attacks and anxiety to the Doctor. They seem to think because of the dizzy spells i am feeling anxious but its more than that. Like everyone here i pray people get some peace of mind and recovery.

    Thanks for your help do appreciate it.

    Take care

    Seyi x

    P.s dont know what happened message went before i had finished :)

  • Hi Dimitri

    Thanks for your reply yes my Daughter is supportive and understands the battle i am going through which is a God send to be honest. Oh i had a funeral 2 weeks back my cousin died and i couldnt keep a limb still thinking i was going to fall to the ground.

    The therapy is a person who visits me once a week and encourages me to do tasks to rebuild the confidence i have lost. I spoke with work today as i was really concerned regarding my job, the person in charge is going to speak to the Occupational Therapist who maybe able to help me.

  • Hi Seyi

    Ok that is good news Seyi. Glad to hear the therapy has started hopefully things will begin to improve. If your doctor thinks your anxiety is caused by the vertigo they may be right so follow their advice and see how you get on. You may find that once the vertigo stops your anxiety will go. Its always a bit of the chicken and egg situation where you dont know if the vertigo triggers off the anxiety or the anxiety triggers of the vertigo but you are addressing both situations so Im sure things will improve. I hope your work can arrange something for you and that it wont be long before you are up and running at work again.

    God Bless You

    Dimitri

  • Hi Dimitri,

    I have another medical certificate which takes me up to 8th March with an appointment with the Doc 7th. I spoke to my work place and seriously they have no idea what i am talking about or feeling Phew!!!. Glad we have this site where we can have a moan share and perhaps help each other in activities we achieve even if the outcome is good or bad. Perhaps the Vertigo was the start of the anxiety and panic attacks up until that day i came over unwell in work i was fine.

    Just need to keep positive thoughts but its like climbing mount Everest and a battle with myself everyday. I hope all is well with you and thanks for taking the time to write and encourage me to think everything will be fine. Just takes time i suppose.

    Hugs Love

    Sey i

  • Hello Jamiemathewman

    Thanks for replying to my post i know everyone on here is struggling just the same as myself. Sometimes you can have a brilliant day and the next can hardly support your weight with legs shaking. I am off work at the moment but because i have to travel on public transport i am finding it difficult to walk to the shops let alone going to work.But what does companies know when they are not walking in your shoes do not feel the panic and anxiety that can ruin your life.

    My children are taking me out for Mother's Day and i have to be strong enough to cope with sitting in a restaurant feeling like i am going to crash out but i will go as they are so supportive. No two days are the same its like you take one step forward and three back. I do not want to live my life like this everyday and i am persistent to recover. Just that i cannot believe that Vertigo could leave me feeling this way.

    I trust you are well and life is being kind to you.

    Thanks for the time again to reply appreciate all the support.

    Hugs Seyi xxx

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