My daughter arranged a meal out today for her husbands Birthday for 17 people. Last moment i wanted to cancel but then my Husband would not have gone. I struggled big time on arrival my legs were shaking i felt anxiety over taking my body and wanted to scream and run out. During the meal my grandson needed feeding this i was willing to do to distract myself his 5 months bless him. I then went to the bathroom my daughter assisted me and then i broke down in tears saying i cannot do this. After awhile we went back to the table and after the meal went outside. I could have flopped down in a big heap the feeling was awful. The thing that is upsetting me is this is taking over my life and i feel its an uphill battle to cope and be normal again. When i arrived home i was shaking i am at breaking point because i cannot deal with this. I feel isolated and feel people who have never walked in my shoes don't understand. Do people think you enjoy being in a state and not feeling comfortable .......Sorry to moan but i am at breaking point.