Terrible realization

My brother raped me years ago. I told my mom then took it back in fear that he would do something to me again. Then years later I said it again and nothing was done. Ive brought it up again recentlumy and my mom makes excuses for him. He is 28 and my mom does EVERYTHING for him. She makes his food, does his laundry, does his schoolwork and everything else.. Why she babies him is beyond me. This is definetely not normal for his age.. As a result of still living with him I have PTSD and my mom put me on so many psych meds. My therapist and I were talking. There is an actual disorder where a parent makes their child sick. She took me to so many psychiatrists to make me think that I have so many issues and that I would forget about the rape. My brother has also held a knife to me and hit me and done wrestling moves, such as chokeslam on me. He got in trouble back in 2008 for a sexual charge. My parents bailed him out and got his record expunged. I honestly live in fear all the time. Luckily my boyfriend sleeps over 4 nights a week. He is a huge support to me... I wish there waa a way I could press charges and make my brother suffer for what ive gone through..

14 Replies

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  • Oh dear Katie, I am so so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I don't know what to say except that I'm glad you can reach out to the forum. We may not understand what it's like for you living in that situation but we can care about you. xx

  • Oh darlin' I'm so sorry. This is just heartbreaking stuff, it really is. Is there ANY way on God's green earth that you can move away permanently? The environment is toxic as are the people you're living with.

    If you haven't done so yet, please also join Heal My PTSD, here on HU. They're a wonderfully supportive group of folks. They'll support you fully in the same way that we here on this forum will.

    Sending prayers honey x

  • Hi Katie, do you have a victim support service where you live? Is there a safe place you can go stay? Family? Boyfriends? I haven't been in your shoes but one of my good friends has, she was raped by her uncle and never told anyone for years. It destroyed her!! Katie if your brother could do that to you what is he capable of doing to someone else too!! You need to talk to someone outside the family about it, you need lots of support. Your living in fear now Katie, i hope you desperately get the help and support you need🙏🏻

  • You have to get closure this is festering in your sub-concious.

    If you feel strong enough to bring it out into the open it may be the way.

  • Oh wow. Thats one helluva situation to be in. if you bring it out into the open your brother may be dealt with legally. You have to think through all the possible consequences - the possible wrath and loss of the rest of your family. I don't know your age but possible loss of your home. Only you can decide if the possible worst outcome for you is better than what you are going through at the moment. It does sound like he is being mollycoddled by mum to the detriment of you and your safety and sanity.

    Please keep us updated on what you decide to do.

    Much love.

    Sue

  • Some people should never have children! I thought that my parents were bad, they gave me some issues, & I in ended up in an adolescent unit because of them, but your story makes me realise that things could have been much worse!

  • Katie - no wonder you're always posting on here, it seems your life is torturous. Do you not think this is the primary cause?

  • I find this very disturbing. Your Mum is protecting your brother when she should be helping you. I used to work in Child protection and know you have a strong case against your brother. However to bring this about would involve distress and you would have to live somewhere safe away from your brother. Do you live in the UK? If not the laws may differ slightly but I am appalled that no one has offered to help, I mean your counciller' sand therapist's. My concern is for your safety, I honestly think before you can take any action you need to get away from your Mother who you say will not help you and then your brother who sounds horrible. Once this is done you can press charges and start to rebuild your life. You will need inner strength to do this and lots of support. Please let me know how you get on. Also I must stress that many such cases do not get to court due to threats being made, the complainant not being up to giving evidence etc. I think you are a determined young woman and with help you can achieve this😊👍

  • Thank you for all the support. Could this be why I have all these physical symptoms? Like this morning I feel like im going to stop breathing.

  • This is a terrible thing for anyone to have to endure. I'm certain that this has to lead to the majority of the issues with anxiety and depression you now face.

    I wish there was a magic way to punish your brother, and let you receive some justice and reprieve from your struggle.

    The best thing I think you can do is remove yourself from that house and the people who are hurting you. It's terrible when it's family who is causing the damage. But, toxic people are just toxic people, and there's not much anyone can do about it.

    Focus on yourself and leave them to rot. Get out of there!

  • Katie, keeping you in my thoughts. Stay safe xx

  • My dad is saying not to do anything that would make the situation worse for my brother. Lol. He deserves to suffer for a long time. My parents paid to get his record expunged so he didnt have trouble finding a job.

  • Katie, sweeping it under the carpet never serves any purpose. It eventually comes out. I guess every family wants to show the world that they are perfect, unfortunately a lot goes on behind closed doors that end up hurting the children. I truly hope this can be resolved for you in a way to keep you from harm as well as letting you start to heal (if that's possible). xx

  • Katie, well done for speaking up about this. This is something that you cannot keep bottled up. It might be for the best if you spoke to someone professional about it, and took their advice.

    I would suggest though that whatever you decide to do about your brothers actions in the past, the most important thing is to look to the future. Ask yourself what you want to do with your life, and stop worrying about whether your Mum is babying your brother. He will be the loser for that in the long term.

    I would definitely suggest you think about therapy because your upbringing will affect your future relationships with men, and it might be best to try to get some perspective on this before you get embroiled in any permanent relationship or have your own kids.

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