Feeling terrible the last few days. Beyond derealized today. My dad who usually works abroad and doesn't know about my mental issues just came back home for 2 weeks and I have to pretend nothing is wrong because last time I was in therapy he said I was overreacting and that nothing is wrong with me and was 100% against it so now my mom and I agreed not to tell him I'm going again, so 2 week break with therapy too. At the same time, my brother is leaving tomorrow for New Zealand and we have no idea when he's coming back as he will try to find a job there. He is one of my safe people and I have no idea how I'll ever manage to do without him. My mom already threatened me saying I'll have to walk the dog every single day - he used to walk the dog I have college too and I can't even think about all the studying I have to do... I feel so much pressure on me, to do, to be, to act "normal", to function, and I just... can't. I can't even cry. I have moved into another realm of crippling fear, anxiety and extreme unbearable sadness and loneliness. Would really love to hear some kind words
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