Want to Bond more

My son lives in his bedroom myself in living room all day and night. I dont know how to bond. My Dad just used me has his punching bag specially when he lost his job. I dont know how to fish or anything like that.

   Any suggestions would be welcome. I gotta get him out. We went out with the dog but cant go far because of my health. I love him so it hurts to see him lonely. 

16 Replies

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  • Hi Dodo, you are a good person and your son knows you love him. You always speak so highly of him and that's so nice.

    Maybe your lad just needs to be on his own sometimes but he knows you are always around, like yesterday when you had some time out with him.

    How are you feeling tonight?

  • He like myself have personality problems cant relax around people and to be quite honest people feel uncomfortable around us. We both like our own companies so not worried about that so much but would like to get out and do stuff but he hasn't any hobbies he has no interests just watching Tv and smoking that skunk and again. My health is not up to scratch and feel time is short because of so many illnesses lately.

       I am ok I tried eating a salad last night but it got stuck so I am sticking with my smoothies I make at the moment. I do not want to through days of being dehydrated again as I went through a few of them these past few weeks. Thanks for asking.

  •   It's hard to believe you have personality problems and can't relax around people.  You certainly come across differently in the forum as very personable and caring person.  I'm glad you have the guitar to play as a diversion to t.v.    This afternoon I sat down at the piano (which I haven't done in several years) and played "Summer Place".  I was surprised that I still remembered how to play it w/o sheet music. The other day while in the car, I sang to a song on the radio.  And yet, today I'm down in the dumps.  I guess that's a part of anxiety.  We have to grab the moment when it strikes.   Take care 

  • I was told I had an horrific childhood but as a child you thibk its normal and lets be right people years ago didn't care as much as they do nowI know both my pparents would be in prison now for half the things they did to me and my youngest sister and my mother was a nurse my Dad an election only when my parents divorced after 30 years did my mother hit the booze.  Violence was every day plud adding to my nightmare I was being abused by my school teacher could go on but its not pity i want but understanding of how why some people react violently towards others and why people get paranoid around others. Now do you get me Agora ? I am nice but couldn't be around people for long because i really don't like being around them Sorry but thats just being honest. 

  • I understand, the more you tell me about your childhood the more I realize there was no one that you could trust.  I can see how this all came to a head as you got older.  It was now your time to (maybe) get even with how you had been treated.  I appreciate you being honest, no one should have to be abused physically and emotionally as you were. 

  • I hurt the wrong people when I snapped i had absolutely no control a person said me eyes went deadI sswitched off it was like it wasn't me and to top it off a women sitting at the time changed into my mother. I was numb for days after unil a woman vicar or father from the church touched my arm and I cried for hour sobbing and shaking. I thought thre judge would give me about 10 years but ended up walking after seeing a psychologist all a nightmare I still live near by and I know people think I'm nuts. They are keeping me heavily medicated now.

  • Sick again I am putting something iffy in my smoothie thats making me sick. All foods must be very fresh because if it ain't and it sits in my esophagus its like a million pins and needles not pain but very very annoying so annoying i cant keep in down for longer than a few minutes so I plan to make some more but not with stuff that could cause this.

       Its one thing typing your feelings totally another face to face. I have absolutely no confidence i had years being told daily i was a simpleton idiot bum and my nerves are about as bad as they could be. I broke years ago and hhaven't healed and in the end I snapped and lost it completely long story but others got hurt including myself. My name in my area is bad also. Happened year's ago but still it was bad very violent i just couldn't cope asked for help but wasn't take serious until what happened now I get all the help. So not many around here think of me as what you typed. Gonna soak some veg now to blend for smoothie.  Bye for now

  • Thank you for sharing such personal information.   I'm sorry you got sick again.  I hope the vegetable smoothie goes down better.   Hope you sleep well.  

  • I know you have been hurt so badly both physically and emotionally but know that you are not your dad.  I'm sure there is a connection with you and your son that is there but goes unspoken.  A lot of it comes from you both struggling with different issues.  Sometimes, it's not what we teach our children, it's what they learn by observing us.

  • I was bad years ago so stressed and drinking to hide emotions of living in fear all the time and others cottoned on and I had a lot of crap off people but many are going through what I had all part of growing up on a council estate not nice.

  • What's a council estate mean?    I know many men turn to drinking to hide their fears, problems and issues.   When did you get diagnosed with Achalasia?  Just wondering how long you have suffered with it. 

  • A council estate is a concrete jungle with people living way to close to each other it can be rough where people get attacked robbed and kids hang on street corners.  

     I have had this torturous disease for about eight years or more . I hope I've answered all your questions. Lol.

  • Oh you sure did.   An estate must be a little different in the US.  When people live on an estate here they are single family homes and are wealthy.  I can understand more what it is like for you and how unsettling it must be.   Wow, and Achalasia for over 8 yrs.  I'm sorry to pry, it helps me better understand where you are coming from with your anxiety and depression.  You're right in that there usually is a lot more behind those illnesses then we realize.  

  • It sure is depressing it wouldn't take much to push me over the edge i feel some times people try and push me and I get angry.  I am nibbling a few frosty flakes the cereal and just drank some water and its staying down but haven't hit my sphincter yet hope it passes . Do you watch alot of TV ?

  • Way more than I ever did before.  So much that my eyes feel strained and I get tired of sitting.

  • TV has become a companion that I look forward to.  I like watching movies, they take me away from the moment.  

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