Just want to walk away

I have been married for almost 20yrs. Life has changed a whole lot. I've battled with anixety and depression after the birth of my 5th child. I don't feel like my husband wants to be with me anymore . I don't live up to his standards, he only touches me in an affectionate way when he want sexs. I believe me dealing with anixety has made him upset with me. Thinking about this, make my anixety high to where it's hard to breathe. I try to talk with him about it, he brushes me off. Not sure what to do.

14 Replies

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  • Pray for guidance from God and read God's Word about scriptures that deal with this issue. Maybe even go away on a mini vacation to clear your mind for a little while.

  • You need to be with your friends, a little time out, learn to laugh again,

    Right now you need some "me" time...

  • Hello tea6139, 20 years of marriage and 5 children is quite an accomplishment, when you have a family it's easy to get lost in all the daily duties that come with looking after a family. No time for you or your relationship really. I do believe your relationship suffers because when you have children they become your priority and dealing with anxiety and depression on top of that must be so hard for you. If you still love and want to be with your husband then don't give up!! Have you tried suggesting going on a date together!! Go out and do something you both like. If you have someone you could trust to leave the kids with for a while. Even consider having a couple of nights away just so you can have some time for just you two. Try suggesting it and ask him what he would like to do. It happens to a lot of people you know. Me and my partner have to work things into our lives, we both work shifts and usually opposite each other so if we're lucky we get one day a week together which is precious to us both. Our kids are grown up Too!! I hope this helps a bit and gives you a bit of inspiration to plan something nice for you both. Take care🙏🏻

  • THAT IS RIGHT HE DOSE NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT I HAVE THAT PROBLEM I FEEL A LONE CAN NOT TAKE MED BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WORSE

  • I understand smjtty. How are you doing on this long holiday weekend?

    Thinking of you my friend. Wish you well. x

  • HAVING PROBLEMS THANK YOU HOW ABOUT YOU

  • Trying to enjoy these couple days of nice weather before we go back to the hot muggy days again. I know it's difficult for you smjtty. There are days that I just break down and cry. It is lonely to feel like this. We're here, I'm here anytime you need to talk. xx

  • YOU HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM

  • I think a lot of us do who are in this cycle of chronic anxiety and depression. It has gotten a little better for me anxiety wise since I've started getting out a little. BUT..... it's not the carefree way it use to be, but then again what is?

    I miss your writings, they have so much depth to them. I have written some things in the past during an intense emotional state. The words came automatically and from the core of my being. Spilling out all these emotions buried deep inside, feeling like a cleansing of sorts after writing it down.

    I watch for anything you write because you touch all of us when you do. Take care yourself smjtty. xx

  • OK

  • my heart goes out to u firstly I think u should see ur gp and get counciling for yourself as it sounds like u have low self worth which is bringing on the anxiety and making u feel so bad abt yourself and then causing depression.sounds like ur husband can't handle it and he might be suffering himself I'm no expert just have alot of experience in feeling as you do and it's he'll.qhat abt relate councilong for both of u get it all out u the open when we as as women feel like crap the last thg we want is sex men are very different in that way which it hard for them to understand I hope I've helped u and I wish u the best of luck 🍀

  • Having gone through a divorce myself I feel for you. When my husband turned away from me I had a lot of people telling me I could fix things if I was this or that, if I lost weight, or dressed sexy, or played hard to get. They were wrong. All this does is make you feel stupid later on. The truth is you can do little to make someone feel attracted to you. They either are, or are not. You might make them panic and change the way they relate to you temporarily, but that is not a good idea. You might end up becoming someone you hate, or cannot keep up. All you can do honestly is think about how you are feeling, and how you can make yourself feel better, for you first and foremost. If your marriage is meant to end it will, and if it does then know, it might be hard at first, but you will cope. If not, then you need to make sure you are happy in the marriage, as you must live your life to the fullest, not just support someone else to do so.

  • Thank you all for your comments. It's hard dealing with this with anixety it makes it much worse. Being married it's a great thing, if both people are trying, not just one person. I'm tired of feeling like I'm only needed or I'm showed affection when u want something, days go by not a hug or kiss nothing like that. I'm just trying to deal with this. I tried talking to him this morning when he came wanting something ( you know what), I told him no, I feel like I'm being used just for sex, and when it's over, days can go by, you don't hug me, kiss me nothing affectionate. Do u know what he did? He starting snoring, yes! He went back to sleep I was waiting for him to say something. I don't know, I just want to get thi anixety under control and love myself.

  • I can't imagine how little "you time" you get with 5 kids, Unless they are all grown. I have 3 and I get no time whatsoever for myself. I mean literally no time. You need to take time for you. Anxiety is very difficult especially when you don't have a supportive spouse to just talk to, and help you thru your feelings. The best thing to do is tell your husband you need to work on yourself for a little bit, a little time to just breathe. You and maybe a friend should take a weekend trip. Anxiety is worse when you have marital issues as well. If your husband isn't willing to work things out, then that could be the sign it's time to just make a change. Praying for you.

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