Dont want pity

[Dodo777]

What I do want is people to know what can go on behind closed doors. You would think people that speak well and dress good and have professional jobs have happy home life but not all are are playing happy families. Many people are broken because parents know how to play the system and abusive parents can be convincing. If a child is unhappy ask yourselves why and push further as to why dont turn away because you will be just as guilty as the abusers. Everyone should be on the look out for abused kids EVERYONE.

[smjtty]

I DO NOT THINK ANY CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO GROW UP AS I DID

[Agora1]

I just wrote a long post and apparently it didn't go through.

[Dodo777 in reply to Agora1]

Somewhere along the way we lost ourselves a part of us have died and I fear we will not find our way until the very last moments of our death and I only hope there is a god that will tell us our suffering was not in vain thus making us more compassionate than most.

We are broken pple with big heart's thats been hurt by someone who should of given us unconditional love.

[Agora1]

I'm sure you do have a big heart Dodo. If you didn't you wouldn't be this lost soul.

In saying that a part of you has died makes me understand why you chose that picture. I always felt that it said a lot about your past. It's true that people who should give unconditional love can hurt a person for a lifetime. My wish for you is that this broken man somehow finds healing within himself. I do believe that our suffering on earth is the hell they talk about. When we die we will be given eternal peace and

happiness. Never again to suffer. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Dodo777 in reply to Agora1]

I to think we are heading for a better place and the more one suffers the better our place will be if that makes sense because suffering in a way makes us wiser.

I hope your feeling better today. I am feeling cold as ice strange feeling. 5 weeks today without smoking fags. I still feel edgy after asthma attack.

How are you let us know Agora.

[Agora1]

First of all. good job in not smoking for 5 weeks. Each week gets you closer to reversing the effects of smoking. I can only imagine what a scare that was for you during the asthma attack. I understand your still feeling edgy. (I would have been a basket case if something like that happened to me) Do you think that cold as ice feeling might have something to do with stopping smoking? I know there was a time when I was on medication for anxiety that I would get real warm. Now that I'm off the pills, I get these cold spikes instead. Hope you are not coming down with a cold or flu.

For me, today was an okay day. I did do my weekly grocery shopping with no problem.

Go figure. Of course, I don't go anywhere until mid afternoon when my anxiety lowers a little bit. From the time I wake up that's all I do is listen to meditation tapes as well as a lot of deep breathing. Even did it in the car on the way to the store. Now my daughter is here, staying the night because I have to take her for another blood test sometime this week. Her potassium was critically low last week because of the anorexia. She moved out on her own last May not too far from me but never the less,

I'm worried for her being alone when she is so critically fragile. When she is here with me, it becomes overwhelming as well because I can actually see what she is going through. My anxiety is really exacerbated by her illness. When she is here, I hold in my fears and crying jags because she gets upset with me. I'm sure you understand all too well, that we really need to be alone with our fears. I don't like anyone seeing me like this. I know you have talked about your son, does he live on his own or with you?

I often wonder what it would be like if we were all on an island together with our anxieties and depression. Would we be able to be as understanding or would we become overwhelmed like our family and friends do. I have noticed lately, that just about everyday there is some news on people having anxiety and how to handle it. So it is

becoming more "out there" for the public to see that we aren't any different than those suffering from diabetes, cancer and other medical conditions. It's just that over time mental illness got such a stigma attached to it that make people shy away from us. In closing, I will just say I am so glad I found this forum and new friends who truly understand and care about each other. Take care Dodo. Stay well. Thinking peaceful thoughts for you.

[Dodo777 in reply to Agora1]

I am waiting to go shopping i wait till I know supermarket is empty not wanting to see anyone i know ino and out quick as I can my son might come with but he looks in a mood so we see. I glad to here you shopping went smoothly i hope mine does. I could stay in 24/7 as long as I have things to do. Yes that Sunday asthma attack done something mentally i not the same I have a new fear kind of thing. Well I hopefully write tomorrow. Be safe and try not to worry to much , bye for now.

[Agora1 in reply to Dodo777]

Hi Dodo, I was just thinking of you and came down to check the forum.

Good luck with shopping, I know what you mean about not wanting to run into someone. A couple things came up that I'll write about tomorrow. Meanwhile, stay well. Sending good thoughts your way.

[Dodo777 in reply to Agora1]

Just came back from shopping all went well. I noticed my son is so like me. Not wanting to mix his girlfriend keeps texting for him yo go up but he happy staying in bedroom watching tv he definitely suffers depression and anxiety he wont come in the shop. He's eating way to much sugary foods as well. He trains on weights everyday so he burns alot off.

I write later hope your evening goes well.

[darklink]

Dollhouse by melanie martinez