finished already

hi finished early again did nothing . my son is home they let him out dont know why now hes roaming the streets threatening us saying one of us should let him stay because no one will have him i refuse even though im his mum i have my 11 yr old to think of im not having him drinking and starting while hes here i feel guilty but he does this himself then expects every one to feel sorry for him he only wants us when hes in trouble any suggestions

19 Replies

  • Glad you have got through another day , one more & the first week is done with !

    No you cant have him stay at your house you are right you have to put yourself & younger son first

    Remember he is ill , but there is nothing you can do about it , you are powerless over this situation & looks like he is at the moment to !

    Its an addiction , no one chooses to have anxiety , no one gets up & says lets get addicted today & ruin our life ! but like been on here choosing to get help with are anxiety , your son has to choose now to get help with his drinking & till then its hard but no one can help him , you can only let him go down the path he has to take & when he reaches whatever is going to be his rock bottom , then fingers crossed he will go & accept help

    Now on a positive well done again today & hope you have a lovely evening :-)




  • thanxs i will be sat here worrying what hes up to :( my little son staying at his big brothers tonight so im on my own

  • I no it cant be easy but worrying wont change what ever he is going to do & maybe even he doesnt no what that is yet

    It could be that he just gets his head down for the night , but you cant risk letting him in & its all for the right reasons , keep telling yourself that

    Oh well you ought to get a long peaceful soak , box of chocolates some good TV & relax , well I would if I had the house to myself :-D


  • i cant relax when im like this but thanks im scared he will harm himself last time he lived with me he got beat up through causing trouble drunk they broke his jaw so hes not staying with me but you cant stop the guilt

  • I do understand what you are saying

    I always say though even though I will always be a Mum when they get to a certain age there is a limit to how much I can protect & guide them if they are refusing my help & at the moment your son doesnt want your help , he may want to use you when he needs you , but he doesnt want your help

    Its nothing you have done wrong & it could happen to anyone , its no reflection on you or your son as I always say when I see someone in a worse situation than myself

    "there for the grace of god go I "

    "Who am I to judge "

    Try not to beat yourself up over this hun

    Ask yourself what could you do even if you let him stop tonight , then tomorrow he may go out causing trouble if thats what he is going to do & you cant & he wont let you tell him what to do

    I no its so hard but we have to accept the best we can we now have to let them go & hope they will come back to us , its the crappy part I think sometimes of been a parent !


  • Dont feel guilty scoobyd youve done everything you can your not responsible for how he behaves anymore, is there anyone who could come and stay with you tonight I can see how worrying this must be for you x

    Mimii xx

  • thanxs and im ok on my own its just worrying its been going on for ages he spoils every birthday christmas etc so im used to it x

  • thanks ive been to the alchol team with him mental health every thing they did try n help gave him tablets to stop drinkin but he still drinks he begs steals or borrows for drink im so ashamed my other two kids are good my son has his own business and my daughter is a fantastic mum so i cant be that bad a parent my little son is good too like you say you have to have one in your family whos a bad penny

  • Well I must be the Bad penny in my family then as I am a recovering alcoholic , been nearly 21 years since my last drink now mind you !!!!!!!!!!!!

  • aww i was only replying to the above post not anyone on here and well done x hope my son does this

  • You cannot be such a bad penny why why. After 21 years I Think you are doing fantastic. YOU are a wealth of good info on this site.

  • Thank you heinge :-)

    I hope you are keeping well :-)


  • thanks to every one for responding to me i dont feel im on my own when i have you lot x

  • Hi Scoobyd , you cant do nothing here, you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink, as whywhy has said he has got to want to help himself, and until he takes that step, there is nothing you can do, try not to let it stress you to much, :)




  • Hi Scooby, Sorry to hear your son being a pain,but please don't let him in, if he comes near phone the police, it sounds harsh but you have to do it. When my sister comes near me I do it, she is always drunk and if I let her in my home, she steals, cash, jewellery anything to get her booze. Even my mum is the same, my mum has my sisters 2 kids as she is that bad she is,nt allowed to have them, and she will not let her near, she has begged authorities to help, but they are not bothered, they cannot even section her as they say she has to go of her own accord which she wont. You must stand your ground and not give in, as if you do he will think he can do what he wants and you will be there to pick up the pieces, its gonna be hard, but only he can help himself xx

  • i know thats what i say but its hard and my son steals to get money so im not letting him in thank you i dont think hed steal off me but you never know the authorities dont help i tried everything they tell you its up to them to help themselves but when there drinking they dont care my son isnt allowed to see his two boys because of drinking

  • It seems in this day n age no matter what the problem there is no one can help unless you say yourself you need help x You would hope the kids would be enough to stop them but when his fails you do lose hope x we can only say one day maybe things will change x

  • I know this is very difficult as my dad was an alcoholic but you have to be strong and put yourself and the rest of your family first. Your son has made choices in life and until he makes positive choices and gets himself help then there is little you can do. Why alcohol isn't recognised as a dangerous drug I don't know as it rips families apart.

    Sending you a big hug because i know it is truly hard


  • Thanks x

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