Don't know what is happening to me

Hi all.

I'm looking for advice.

I don't really know whete to start. So I apologize if I repeat myslef, also my spelling.

Many months ago I delveloped a pain in my collar bone area and decided to see what google would tell me. Worst mistake ever. After a trip to the doctors and a x ray nothing was seen and aniexty was the outcome. Fast forward a few months and I'm still feeling like crap everyday and living in fear that I have cancer and my time is up. I've had a few blood test taken and the most recent one shown my cholesteal was at 6.5. I'm working on trying to bring that one under control. Last week I started with back pain and sore sides of my stomach again the doctors wasn't concerned and booked another blood test which again shown nothing to be concernd about. Like an idiot i typed my symptons into google and have convinced myself I have cancer. This is serioulsy effecting my life and my relationship with my partner is on the brink of collaspe. The pain I am feeling is very very real to me and I know she has had enough of me now. I just wish I could live a normal life once again but feel the best thing for me now would be to end it all.

Thanks for listening

Michael

8 Replies

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  • Hello

    Straight away when you kept mentioning Google and looking up your symptoms I thought whoops mistake , but I think you already know that and maybe make yourself a promise from this day no more Googling as you know it only ever gives us the worse scenario and it is not a Doctor , cannot examine you and so on and if any of us put our symptoms in there it will give us the worse possible answer that we are already thinking so you can help yourself and stay of and stick with your Doctor and their advise well that is what I would do

    I would try and be reassured that after tests if they thought for one minute this was anything serious they would have you in quicker than you could Google as it would be more than their job was worth !

    Have you asked what they think it is that is causing this ?

    Sometimes we can get pains and so on and there is no explanation but as we become anxious over it then it does not go away and we think it is getting worse yet if we let go which I know is not easy but usually we find it goes to :-)

    Have you spoken to your Doctor about your worse fear and how it is affecting you and your personal life , if not I really would also do that because they may be able to say or offer some kind of support to prevent this from escalating further or they should do but we have to be honest with them about how we feel

    You are not on your own though , the times I have been in your situation and once I got over one thing I moved on to another where it did ruin my life , there was no one to talk to and no support like now but talking and taking the advise that helps you the most you will move on :-)

    Take Care x

  • Thank you. Sometimes wise words like your's can give me the kick up the arse I need then I feel like I could make some progress. The problem is I seem to slip back into my messed up world within a matter of seconds.

  • Hello

    Yes this is what happens when you are suffering with anxiety and sounds like you have Health Anxiety it is how the anxiety stays in control and not us

    But when we feel we are slipping back we have to push forward again until the sensible thinking outweighs the anxiety , it is not easy but the more we do it then it becomes easier and maybe asking your Doctor about some kind of therapy /Counselling may help ?

    Has something happened in your life that you can pin point where this has maybe started from ?

    I know for lot's of us we may have lost someone close to us that can trigger it of and again talking therapy can help us to understand where we are coming from and how to try and change

    You will not have cancer but you do have anxiety which will try and tell you all this what is going of in your head and as unpleasant as it is anxiety has never killed anyone , made plenty feel so desperate though which is why it needs dealing with just like anything else and is just as important as any other illness to

    Maybe try wearing an elastic band round your wrist , when you get tempted to Google or those negative thoughts start slipping in give it a flick to remind you not to Google and the thoughts are your anxiety but not reality :-) x

  • Bounce, you always give such good advice and support. You are a very caring person. Wishing you well. x P.S. Thank you again for helping me through that rough day a week ago. Still can't get over how fast you happen to get back to me. By chance or choice, you gave me support when I needed it most.

  • Your not alone. Iam always with sore muscles even just by touching my chest it starts to hurt iam vitamin D deficient and iam always getting bad panic attacks and dizzy spells. But your defenitly not alone iam exactly like you i always go to the doctors and iam always convincing myself i have a tumor or a serious illness it sucks..anxiety is evil.

  • I understand what you are going through, not a day goes by that I don't hurt in most every part of my body. Google is dangerous for the mind when looking up symptoms. I have fibromyalgia. I have widespread pain, nausea, brain fog, always tired, headaches and many other random symptoms. Sometimes I have googled my symptoms of the day and like you found those symptoms to be of cancer, however, my doctors have not done a bunch of blood work. Only a few that rules or like disease and other things that prove fibromyalgia. I have no cure one can only treat the symptoms and your life style. I wonder, if by making a list of symptoms and returning to doctor if you might find a diagnosis. Good luck

  • sweetpickle, I too have fibromyalgia which came 2 years after my being diagnosed with anxiety. I understand your physical pain as well as emotional that seems to never let up. Keeping you in my thoughts and

    sending "gentle hugs". x

  • You are definitely not alone. I believe I have health anxiety. I always look on google & then I start getting sad or depressed when I look up the symptoms because I'm convinced I have cancer. I ask myself everyday is this normal to feel like this day in & day out? I feel dizzy chest pains breathing heavy muscle aches, horrible horrible fatigue. I could sleep my life away if that was possible. Blurred vision at times. I notice any little pain in my body & panic. I know how you feel you start thinking how much more of this can I really take & go on like this!!

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