Off balance feeling making my anxiety bad :-(

Please can anyone help reassure me.

I have anxiety, I have for 3 years but it was always just agoraphobia so trouble going out and intrusive thoughts. Rarely a physical problem. I went through good and bad times but I improved greatly then last summer i started with fatigue and sheer exhaustion,my GP ran bloods told me I was fine other than my ferritin and b12 being a bit low. I supplemented and they started to rise. Then in November my son was being bullied, he started with panic attacks, every day was too hard to get him into school and it was so stressful. I felt so ill with stress and my anxiety returned. Now my anxiety is worse than before and I am scared :-(

The fatigue makes me feel drained every day, too tired to do anything and with it brings high anxiety. In November when supporting my son I suddenly started feeling like the ground was moving when I walked, like I was bobbing up and down on a trampoline or walking on marshmallows. It terrified me and I took to my bed I was so scared. My GP came out to see me, he did balance tests, co ordination tests, my eyes, reflexes, BP, oxygen etc... and all normal. He said it was all down to stress and anxiety. I rested and it did improve then it returned again and my GP came out to me, he did the same checks and took blood. All fine, he said it had to be anxiety and to just rest up and let my body de sensitise as I had been through alot with my son recently. Again it got better by 90% and I barely noticed it. Then a few weeks ago one weekend I woke feeling more fatigued than usual, and when I lay down I felt when I looked up at the ceiling like it was wobbling or like my eyes didn't focus, I felt like my head wobbled as I sat up or turned over too but this went within 2 days so I didn't bother telling my GP. My friend said it sounded like BPV so a type of positional vertigo. Now the ground moving feeling is back in full force, every day I feel scared, anxious, worried will I collapse, what if I end up in hospital how would I cope having such bad agoraphobia again. I feel a right mess.

Each day I have to keep getting up, taking my kids to school, my kids keep getting ill with virus after virus, my son still needs daily support to get him to face school... I am drained beyond belief. I am so tired. For 3 months I have been supporting my son because CAMHS refused to help. My daughter keeps getting virus after virus, my son now has a virus, my husband has a chest infection... my anxiety is through the roof. Since all this ill health and the dizziness I have became agoraphobic again. I can't do appointments so my anxiety runs wild about this 'dizziness' as I call it, is something serious and I am always imaging myself at the GP or lying in a hospital bed and I panic because I know I couldn't do it. I worry all day what's wrong with me and I am making myself feel ill. I am worried sick I am not suffering anxiety, worried something serious is wrong, worried I am a bad mum.... I cook, clean, take my kids to school, support my son, take care of all my pets... but inside I am so tired every day, my legs feel weak, I get this trampoline feeling when I walk, my eyes are heavy.

Can anyone relate? My husband says this is all anxiety and I need to stop feeding it with more worry, my GP has checked me twice, I have had bloods done and I am fine. I keep worrying though should I have told him about how i felt 2 weeks ago when I had those 2 days of different type of dizziness when I lay down and moved my head. I keep worrying have i got a brain tumour or something serious.

This is all the cause of my agoraphobia again. I even get anxious walking around my house because of it. The dizziness has terrified me, my husband says it's not even dizziness, it's just the ground bobbing feeling, I only had it in my head those 2 days due to how bad my fatigue was but why am i so tired? :-(

Sorry to moan. I worry I am a bad mum and worried will i get over this setback, it's nothing like my usual anxiety which was intrusives, the fact it's real physical sensations terrifies me daily.

Thank you.


8 Replies

  • Hello

    It made me tired just reading your post , not because it was to long but because everything you are doing and having to deal with , what a lot !

    No wonder your anxiety is in overdrive and a good rest I think is what you need and to make yourself a priority which I know when you have children can be very hard to do and we forget we have needs to

    I did feel for you as you explained about your Son been bullied how awful and what emotions you both must have and maybe still be going through , I know that when my kids were hurting I think I hurt more and I was fortunate that even though there was the occasion they were picked on nothing really escalated into bullying except for a neighbors child once bullying my Son but because that was at home I could be by his side all the time where as when they are at School it is totally different

    I hope School are giving you support and I would really hope they would expel the bullies as this should no longer be tolerated

    I do believe that anxiety makes you light headed and dizzy which I used to get till one morning I woke up and when I took my head of the pillow the best way I can describe it was I thought first I was going to fall over and then it was like my brain was swimming around in my head causing a dizziness that was like no other , frightened me out of my wits and yes like you I though O no this has to be a brain tumor

    I went of to the Doctors and yes I had vertigo , I have no clue why but it is to do with an imbalance in the inner ear so I would get that checked out as it does very much sound like you could have something like this and if nothing else it will give you peace of mind

    Try among all this take some time out each day just for you where you can maybe shut of even if for 30 minutes a day you need it , I don't think it is appreciated how much Mums do and you sound like you do more than your share as well as been a really good Mum :-)

    Take Care x

  • Thank you so much for your kind reply.

    I do feel I've run myself into the ground since November. My son told me he was having suicidal thoughts and camhs refused to help saying i would be the best person to help him having had anxiety myself. My gp could not understand their logic. It ran me into the ground. My daughter got so ill with a bowel infection son ended up in hospital for 2 nights . She then got better and then a week later got croup. It's been disaster after disaster. Not to mention my ceiling caving in after all the storms causing damage to the flat roof and insurance refuse to pay out haha. If I didn't laugh I'd cry.

    I wake up every day terrified about this feeling. It's like I've weak legs and they're bouncing or walking on a trampoline other marshmallows. That head dizziness was just 2 days thankfully.

    Thing is gp has seen me twice and told me it stress and high anxiety or maybe an inner ear thing so he prescribed stemetil which I never took as you can't take it does longer than a week and it gradually improved.

    He said anxiety and stress can knock the vestibular system out of wack.

    I currently have 2 ill children at home as they've caught their dad's flu virus. I've honestly not had a full Monday to Friday to myself sinxe October. I'm exhausted. It's been either my son being sent home with panic or my daughter ill every other week. I haven't had me time for months. I'm done in.

    Thanks for your lovely message.


  • Hello Julie

    I really do feel for you

    Could you possibly talk with hubby and maybe come up with a plan when you can have at least once a week " me time " you need it you are not wonder women :-/

    Do you ever get your hair done , nails done , maybe could you book and have a massage ?

    I think you really do need something just for you among all this

    Even though you have seen the Doctor twice and no doubt he has got it spot on if it is getting to you then go back again and let them know , remember as I always say they do get paid to see us :-/

    What has happened to your Son is dreadful and I also think camhs is a disgrace and that was a cop out saying you would be best as you have had anxiety but to be honest I have had friends that have had their children referred there for one thing and another and they have said they are absolutely rubbish and did nothing to help or of any use so maybe you have not missed out on much

    Would it be something you have ever considered about moving Schools ?

    If you need to vent you have somewhere you can talk now , we may not always have all the answers but we are very good at knowing how anxiety feels and are good at listening to :-) x

  • Thank you.

    No I never get me time but due to my agoraphobia right now I don't do anything alone.

    I can't even do appointments due to this dizziness raising my anxiety. I have panic attacks doing them. I even got anxious as hell having the gp come to my house. So unlike me. I've not found appointments easy the last few years but with hubby I could do them.

    The school have been great really helpful and he's had great support from the staff. Camhs are awful. I called them 4 times last week and left messages, noone returned my call.

    Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to me.

  • Hi :-)

    Maybe ask hubby then if say on a Saturday night you could have some time to yourself , maybe get a take away in , have a nice bubble bath , paint your nails you like reading that can be good to distract the mind

    Is there any Grandparents to babysit , I know you have agoraphobia and so do I to be honest , I have been suffering over 10 years or more and can only go with hubby but just started to set goals where we go places even if we just walk round the block but maybe what about hubby taking you out for a drive if you had someone to mind the kids maybe stop outside a chip shop and have a bag of chips in the car together :-/

    Just trying to think of things you could do to make you feel special again because I know how this feels and I know to make you feel good in small ways can just give us that little lift we so need :-) x

  • Aww do you. It's tough isn't it. If you ever want to talk just message me. It helps having someone who understands.

    Yes all lovely ideas thank you. Setting goals is what I want to do. I went into a shop at the weekend and managed a small walk with hubby and daughter.

    No grandparents around as I have no extended family anymore. Which is what led to my anxiety as my family are pretty toxic and my brother became violent 3 years ago so I cut him off after I had to call the police on him. I cut him out to protect my children and as a result my sisters and mum resent me for splitting the family up. He has a serious mental health illness. So no grandparents on my side other than my dad but he runs his own business. Hubby's side we just have his dad but he works and doesn't drive. So it's just us now really. We are happy and closer for what we went through. It's just a shame it led to my anxiety disorder.

    It's been a rough few years on and off but i had improved until recently when stress hit with my poor son and I became dizzy and anxious. I feel burnt out to be honest. Over worked . My children are my world but every mum enjoys some peace during the day 😃

    Thank you for your kindness xx

  • All of this sounds soooo much like me. I've always taken care of everyone, all my loved ones, but I've always been agoraphobic, always had the Panic, anxiety and fear. Sometimes better than others. Lately its gotton really bad and I don't no how to fix it or help it any more. Dizzyness, buzzing in head, ringing in ears, chest pains. Stomach problems bad. And I'm all alone, a widow now, Son calls every day that covers 10min. and grandchildren, are 18and 14 so to busy with their own world to worry about a 67 year old grandma :( No one to talk to or watch tv with nothing :( really in a hole. Sooo hopefully your a lot better than me. If you find something to help please let me no :'(

  • Oh Judy you poor thing.

    Have you seen your gp about the dizziness?

    Message anytime if you need to talk. I see noone all day other than my chikdren and husband. I have no family around. I feel very lonely.

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