Please can anyone help reassure me.
I have anxiety, I have for 3 years but it was always just agoraphobia so trouble going out and intrusive thoughts. Rarely a physical problem. I went through good and bad times but I improved greatly then last summer i started with fatigue and sheer exhaustion,my GP ran bloods told me I was fine other than my ferritin and b12 being a bit low. I supplemented and they started to rise. Then in November my son was being bullied, he started with panic attacks, every day was too hard to get him into school and it was so stressful. I felt so ill with stress and my anxiety returned. Now my anxiety is worse than before and I am scared
The fatigue makes me feel drained every day, too tired to do anything and with it brings high anxiety. In November when supporting my son I suddenly started feeling like the ground was moving when I walked, like I was bobbing up and down on a trampoline or walking on marshmallows. It terrified me and I took to my bed I was so scared. My GP came out to see me, he did balance tests, co ordination tests, my eyes, reflexes, BP, oxygen etc... and all normal. He said it was all down to stress and anxiety. I rested and it did improve then it returned again and my GP came out to me, he did the same checks and took blood. All fine, he said it had to be anxiety and to just rest up and let my body de sensitise as I had been through alot with my son recently. Again it got better by 90% and I barely noticed it. Then a few weeks ago one weekend I woke feeling more fatigued than usual, and when I lay down I felt when I looked up at the ceiling like it was wobbling or like my eyes didn't focus, I felt like my head wobbled as I sat up or turned over too but this went within 2 days so I didn't bother telling my GP. My friend said it sounded like BPV so a type of positional vertigo. Now the ground moving feeling is back in full force, every day I feel scared, anxious, worried will I collapse, what if I end up in hospital how would I cope having such bad agoraphobia again. I feel a right mess.
Each day I have to keep getting up, taking my kids to school, my kids keep getting ill with virus after virus, my son still needs daily support to get him to face school... I am drained beyond belief. I am so tired. For 3 months I have been supporting my son because CAMHS refused to help. My daughter keeps getting virus after virus, my son now has a virus, my husband has a chest infection... my anxiety is through the roof. Since all this ill health and the dizziness I have became agoraphobic again. I can't do appointments so my anxiety runs wild about this 'dizziness' as I call it, is something serious and I am always imaging myself at the GP or lying in a hospital bed and I panic because I know I couldn't do it. I worry all day what's wrong with me and I am making myself feel ill. I am worried sick I am not suffering anxiety, worried something serious is wrong, worried I am a bad mum.... I cook, clean, take my kids to school, support my son, take care of all my pets... but inside I am so tired every day, my legs feel weak, I get this trampoline feeling when I walk, my eyes are heavy.
Can anyone relate? My husband says this is all anxiety and I need to stop feeding it with more worry, my GP has checked me twice, I have had bloods done and I am fine. I keep worrying though should I have told him about how i felt 2 weeks ago when I had those 2 days of different type of dizziness when I lay down and moved my head. I keep worrying have i got a brain tumour or something serious.
This is all the cause of my agoraphobia again. I even get anxious walking around my house because of it. The dizziness has terrified me, my husband says it's not even dizziness, it's just the ground bobbing feeling, I only had it in my head those 2 days due to how bad my fatigue was but why am i so tired?
Sorry to moan. I worry I am a bad mum and worried will i get over this setback, it's nothing like my usual anxiety which was intrusives, the fact it's real physical sensations terrifies me daily.