For over a year I suffered from depression, although undiagnosed at the time I knew I had it as it runs in the family. But recently I've developed severe anxiety, insomnia, paranoia, panic attacks and depression, all diagnosed now. My doctor has said he thinks that medication is the best way to help me, but I always get scared I react bad to them or they make me feel suicidal, which is something I hope I never do feel. I left school last year in my third year of high school, and since then I've pushed all my friends away and cut all ties with the outside world, the only people in which I speak with are my family who I'm am lucky to have. I so many symptoms that I didn't know where connected to anxiety in anyway which didn't help, I feel at ease a little now I know they could all just be connected to it. And a lot of shitty things have happened to me in my life so far but developing anxiety is by far the worst. I don't sleep, I don't eat and I lack most of the social skills I had before. I cry about 1038282 times a day and can't even go to the doctors myself. I live with my dad and he is extremely unsupportive of my illness, the days where I feel like my body has turned into jelly and my head feels so full of air I feel faint and weak, he always is so unsympathetic. My mum and grandma are always there for me, but at the same time they can be selfish and unloving towards me. Not a day goes by where I don't think I'm dying, I wake myself up every hour or so with an extreme twich, most of the time crying and sometimes it feels too much to handle so I break down even more. I really am lost right now and don't know what I should do. It doesn't help that I can't sleep
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