I feel so sick all the time and it's not like a "fever" type of sick. More like I have something caught in my throat and my mind can barely focus on anything. For some reason I try so hard to be accepted and when I'm not I feel worthless. It hurts, I'm always so rude to my family but I can't help it. I like to be alone but when I end up being with friends or family it's not that bad until I go home them it hits again that I don't want to hang out with anyone. I have panic attacks and anxiety and it's accumulated over a year. All I want is a way out but I would never be able to bring myself to suicide since I'm terrified of dying, it's one of the reasons why I can't go to sleep at night. I honestly don't know whats wrong with me, why i'm so irritated all the time and why I can't realize how I treat other people.