I don't know

I feel so sick all the time and it's not like a "fever" type of sick. More like I have something caught in my throat and my mind can barely focus on anything. For some reason I try so hard to be accepted and when I'm not I feel worthless. It hurts, I'm always so rude to my family but I can't help it. I like to be alone but when I end up being with friends or family it's not that bad until I go home them it hits again that I don't want to hang out with anyone. I have panic attacks and anxiety and it's accumulated over a year. All I want is a way out but I would never be able to bring myself to suicide since I'm terrified of dying, it's one of the reasons why I can't go to sleep at night. I honestly don't know whats wrong with me, why i'm so irritated all the time and why I can't realize how I treat other people.

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5 Replies

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  • Anonymous, it's easy to say stop worrying but that's what you need to do. Everything you describe are the common symptoms of General Anxiety Disorder and most people on this forum have experienced some or all of them so you are not alone. Take that feeling of something sticking in your throat, I had that a number of years back, I was sent for a barium meal scan, nothing was found, it's called Globus Hystericus and it's caused by anxiety, as indeed are all the other symptoms you mention.

    At the moment you're bewildered by what's happening to you so let me explain. For some time you were stressed and worried, I don't know by what. As a result the constant stress has caused your nervous system that extends throughout your body to become sensitised. Are you with me? And when that happens your nerves start acting up and playing tricks on you, like the panic attacks, feeling

  • Ooops, sorry anonymous, pressed the wrong button, I'll continue. So when that happens your nerves start acting up and playing tricks on you like the panic attacks, feeling unwell and the something-stuck in my throat you mention. Also, small problems and worries can seem ten times worse when your nerves are over sensitised. So now you know what's happening to you, the next question is what to do about it?

    There's a method caused Acceptance which has been very successful over the past 40 years in helping people to desensitise their nervous system and make a complete recovery. There may be other solutions but I've never heard of them. The Acceptance method involves doing just that, for the short term just accept all the strange and worrying feelings including panic attacks without fighting them or tensing up. Let your mind and muscles relax and go limp and let the bad feelings break over you like a great wave breaks over a rock but does not damage the rock. And anxiety can't damage you, you know, because unlike real illnesses nervous symptoms can't damage your body or become life threatening because they only exist as little short circuits and glitches in your nervous system.

    Acceptance means not adding second fear to first fear when anxiety strikes, just stay cool and relaxed and continue doing what you're doing knowing full well nervous symptoms are imposters and can't harm you. You've got yourself in a vicious circle of nervous symptoms causing anxiety which causes more symptoms which causes more anxiety etc and the whole thing snowballs. What you have to do, and it takes much time and practice, is to break that vicious circle by stop feeding it with further fear. By accepting the anxious feelings we stop adding fuel to the fire, we stop adding more anxiety to our depleted nervous system and gradually the sensitisation begins to recede and your feelings return to normal. So that's the solution and it begins with a capital A.

    You say you're rude to your family and feel worthless when people reject you. Have you tried using charm on these other people? Rather than being rude, critical and abrasive use a little charm on them, flatter them, ask fir their opinion which you say you value, be humorous and smile when you're talking to them. Smiling is quite important. So they'll feel better about being in your company and you get what you want without confrontation. There was once a queen of England called Queen Elizabeth the First who famously said: "I can achieve more with a little charm than a general with ten armies!" Maybe take a leaf out of her book.

  • Thank you so much for that. :)

  • How old are you sweetie? First of all I would say don't be too hard on yourself because your obviously struggling. Have you been to the doctors? I'm just asking so I can find out if you've had any treatment at all?

  • Try a book by Dr Claire Weeks, can be purchased on Amazon for about £6. Read the book n one sitting and relieved 80% of my anxiety immediately as she explains everything your going through and takes the fear out of your symtoms so you can look at them for what they are. An exhausted nervous system.

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