I don't know what to do

I don't know why I'm writing here but I don't know what else to do. I feel so low. I suffer from depression and sometimes panic attacks. This week I am having long anxiety attacks. At the moment I am crying and cutting and I can hardly breathe and I don;t know how to make it stop. I hate myself. I hate life. I am sick of feeling like this. My life feels out of control. I don't know what I want and not for lack of trying to work it out.

I can't concentrate or think of anything I want to do. I am just sitting sobbing and feeling sick. I don't want to bother any of my friends or family. I feel weak and pathetic and alone. I need help but I don't believe anything can help.

I just want to be happy.

21 Replies

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  • you r not alone please dont think anything cant be done 4 you please talk to your family or friends i find talking to somebody makes me fill much better i know the night time is the worst time because every one is asleep and everything fills ten times worse at the moment i think my head is so dizzy hurting but i no its my anxiety i try to work through it on my own but if i cant i find something to do totake my mind of it like playing a game on the computer or finding something funny on the telly

  • Thanks. Was good to read this before I went to bed. Knowing someone else was up and listening to me! Mindless facebook games are a tried and trusted distraction but somehow last night I forgot. Thanks.

  • I know exactly how u feel I suffer with anxiety, depression and ocd and its like they've taken over my life and I often sit and cry. U should see ur doctor i have had counselling in the past and it's really helped but these problems keep comin bk I'm constantly worried feeling down and stressed a lot and its having a awful affect on my marriage. I'm starting counselling again tomorrow and been referred bk to cognitive behavioural therapy u should see ur doctor an see what help they can offer u. Don't hold bk I used to not tell ppl my problems as i thought people would think I'm stupid but now I go for walks etc and I finding reading about my problems help and talking to other people with ry same problems x hope this helps

  • Dr is well aware! I had a psychiatrist evaluation last month and should have another session with him next month. Have had CBT 5 times over the last 10 years. Thanks.

  • You are not alone.

    Please take a shower, change the bed and sleep.

    Today - talk to your most understanding friend... they are there for you and they will listen and reassure - plus they can see clearly... because you cannot.

    It's going to take time, ride out the storm.

    Don't make drastic decisions, getting better is going to take time., tackle one problem at a time. Take care.

  • Thank you. You are completely right (especially about me not having had a shower or changed the bed!! haha). I can't see clearly at the moment. I will call a friend and make no decisions. This too will pass right? x

  • It will pass.

    I'm managing to work - occupying the mind is key, too much spare (thinking) time is not good.

    It's been a struggle but slowly and surely I'm getting there.

    Three weeks ago it seemed decisions needed to be made immediately, it's not the case, plus you will doubt any/every decision you make. If you have made decisions - they were the right decision at the time and best for you.

    Tackle one thing at a time, eliminate what seem like problems one by one, take your time... but do not stop.

    Today - shower, - clean is good, in the next hour do one job - put on a wash (& get it out afterwards - dont let it sit there!). This afternoon - another small task - take your time, take time out.

    Take care.

  • Oh my god - are you watching me?!!? I put a load of washing on last night... it is still 1/2 in the machine and wrinkling fast! I really am not alone huh? xx

  • Add 'ironing' to the list of small jobs!

    Take care.

  • I hope you're feeling a little better this week.

    I've been struggling but feel I'm slowing but surely getting there. Yes I want it to end but this time I want it to be the last so not rushing into stuff, just taking it slowly - one step at a time.

    I have days off now, visiting family and helping a friend out - its got me up, showered (nearly) and out.

    Take care.

  • I know how difficult it must be and what struggle it is at times but if this has been going on a while, then i would go to your GP and tell them exactly how you feel. Don't be fobbed off , if it is that bad how you feel they may give you some medication . I spent years just thinking i had stress when i had been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I regret not going sooner. If the Dr does not seem to be helpful then just ask to see someone else, but see what they say first. I have also found exercise and changing my daily patterns helpful, not all the time it will help. Set yourself some goals to aim for, little steps at first to help you change your thought patterns. One i did was i was finding that staying in working at the computer on loads of things at once was making me anxious , so i just stopped and took a break from it all and started on my activities and work a bit at a time.

    all the best!

  • Thanks. Yeah, GP knows. I am in the system! Going for runs is really helping - uses up some adrenalin and forces me to breathe deeply... but at 2am it doesn't seem suitable... not sure why not - I suppose I could have gone for a run.

    One thing at a time. :)

  • No, you're not alone. Do try and find someone to talk to, and try and distract yourself with anything rather than keep dwelling, particularly if you are self-harming. Have you tried clutching ice cubes instead? Sounds ridiculous, but holding something that cold actually does hurt but won't do you permanent harm. Please consider talking to your GP or a counsellor. I hope you start to feel better soon.

  • Thank you. Have a few scratches on my arm today so pretty embarrassed. Nothing permanent or serious but wont look pretty for a couple of days. Will try ice cubes next time (the need to harm hasn't happened for months so hopefully wont again for a long time). Thanks for the suggestion :) x

  • Hello love, i do feel for you and i used to do that all the times, it will sound silly but best thing is to buy Mamma Mia DVD if you don;t have it, buy the one with karaoke in it, stick it in your DVD and sing with it, dance and laugh. is such amazing DVD to own and always lift my spirits when i do :)

    thinking of you hun, be strong and try to sort out the problem that is making you sad, if it is anxiety you will get used to it and will be better by time.

    xx

  • big hugs to you from me : )

  • U will get through this sweetie xxx

  • hi, what ever you do dont feel guilty your ill! i spent years doing this and hiding the truth because i felt ashamed and embaressed but once you have the courage to share your feelings it will help you deal with it.im reading a good book at the moment -the mindful way through depression,freeing yourself from chronic unhappiness.it may help you good luck and stay strong.x

  • Reading the comments reminds me of the song from the Lion King."Can you feel the love tonight?" It seems like a lot of people are sending their love to you,having been in a similar position themselves.

  • You are not alone I feel exactly the same,sometimes Ifeel like banging my head against a wall, just to get rid of the heavy feeling in it...I do find though,if I leave the house ,even for an hour and chat to someone,or go for a drive,I feel better,just think your not alone in this,and it will never kill you,try to think positive thoughts,and say to yourself,its just anxiety,it's awful,but it could be worse,Icould have a more serious illness.theres people worse off than me..thats what I do,and it helps....

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