I don't know

[Jodie73]

Hi everyone my name is Jodie

My situation is about... I have been with my boyfriend for nearly five years and In the first couple of months after living with him he was txting old girlfriends and F BUDDIES while I'm with him ... I moved in bout August 2010 and he told me to go back to where I waz wen we met ( so I did ) I woz devastated... I was fretting sick sad just everything... He called me just before xmas that year and asked me to come back so I did .... I was the happiest girl in the world.... But noticed he had been stil txting and ringing these women he and I were laying in bed one morning when he got a txt from his ex F buddy and he told me a few things tht were said ( I never said any thing) he got out of bed and said he was going to see his mate and asked me if I wanted to go and I said no I had house work to do... So he left ( but knew exactly were he was going ) I ended up going to the truck stop and YES THERE HE WOZ WITH HER in her truck I lost it I walked over to the truck and he was sitting in the drivers side ..... Any how that got sorted but a long story short there after he had been txting his other x girl and I saw the message.... He is a very big flirt and he lies he keeps telling me now tht he has changed for me and he keeps telling me he loves me and so forth!!!!? I DO NOT TRUST HIM and he gets mad at me ..... Deep down I do love him ...... We own our own business..... But I just don't know what to do ????????

[snow-13]

Without trust only brings pain. If someone truly loves you they don't act that way. I am sure he does love you but his actions are wrong. Your going to keep getting hurt and lack of trust means your always suspicious, insecure, sad, afraid of loosing him. This was never Gods plan for you. Respect yourself , hold you head up and don't let anyone treat you wrong. If my partner was texting any girl...he be gone. Be a soul survivor and by all means love him but don't need anyone to survive. Takes practise but honestly changes everything. I love my guy but don't need him n he knows it. I get treated with utmost respect daily!! You deserve much better my friend x x sometimes people don't know whist they have till it's gone. Guys sometimes fall into a power trap when they know a girl loves them no matter what. Respect yourself start today n show him you love him but your not going to about if he is texting old girlfriends etc. you will live a life of insecurity that can make you very I'll

[Jodie73 in reply to snow-13]

Hey snow

U are right I do need to take care of myself and I am going to do just that .. I am going to save money for things I need and so on..... It is going to take me a little while but I am determined to do so thank u for ur replay means a lot xx

[snow-13 in reply to Jodie73]

Good for you Jodie. Be good to yourself today. Your beautiful and deserve only the best x Every day x

[Hidden]

Hello

It sounds like you have been having a tough time & your emotions must be all over the place as mine would be

I think though that love can sometimes blind us from what is smacking us in the face but we choose not to see it as it can be to painful but we can put ourselves through misery sometimes for years before we can not deny what we know deep down if we listen to our gut instinct what it is telling us

You will know what is the best way to go with your relationship & know one can tell you which way to go as it is your life which you have to live but I would just say try & go with what deep down you feel with this one & maybe not your heart ...Good luck & whichever way it turns out which you will work through I hope you find true love & happiness because you do deserve it x

[Jodie73 in reply to Hidden]

Thanx tigger..... i get suspicious and paranoid wen he goes in to a shop and delivers or even wen he goes to his mates place .... And wen I talk to him bout my feelings he gets upset and starts to cry sometimes he even laughs at me one day I was really down on my self ( like THT is most of the time) but I said I am f$$ked up and he turned round and said ur f$$ked up but I stil love u!! Like WTF....I have been on depression tablets for bout 8 years but have only been with my bf for bout 5 years ..... He knows he has it easy cause I stay and put up with his behaviour so he just tells me all the things I want to hear cause if he says yes THT he is flirting I wil leave him ....... I just don't know and I have spoken with my doctor..... I think he is pretty much telling me to leave for THT is best for me ...... 😭😔😔

[Hidden in reply to Jodie73]

Hello

After everything he has done it is normal to be suspicious & when we are suffering with anxiety our self worth is very low to start with so another person who is suppose to love us bringing us down is really not going to help at all & just maybe he knows because of your problems he can get away with this & even though he may not even realize he is doing it or maybe he does he takes advantage

Personally for me I would not put up with it but that is so easy to say as a broken heart feels like it will never heal & when we have problems it takes so much strength to let go , but if it comes to a stage it gets to painful to be with him because of how he is you will find that strength

Sounds like your doctor who will know you quite well gave you some good advice

Is there any groups or therapy your doctor could refer you to that would help with your self esteem , if you could work on that it would be a huge help

Try telling yourself despite suffering with anxiety & depression you are a good person & you are worthy of been loved in a way that enhances your life not that makes you feel worse because you certainly are

Someone when I was in a bad relationship said to me , if you don't get out of that relationship how will you ever know if there is something in the future better waiting for you , I got out of it & yes there was something I had always wanted waiting for me , someone that makes me feel loved just for who I am , anxiety & all , I hope you find that to , I am sure somewhere in the future you will x

[Jodie73 in reply to Hidden]

Hey again,

Yes he does take advantage of me and I stup enuf to put up with it.... I have tried to deal with this my self like be happy and stuf and I am happy but wen there is a situation THT I see I get cranky and upset I treat him good so ther is no reason for him to treat me this way ... Everything u say tigger is true and i value ur conversation with me and helping me...... I have Facebook friends THT speak highly of me but have trouble accepting compliments.... Deep down I know I am a good hearted woman loving and caring and willing to go out of my way to help ppl .... I only saw a councillor once a couple of months ago and haven't followed it through...... But I don't understand y he can just go on thinking he isn't the problem it's me BUT he made me this way but he isn't going to get help it realy frustrates me I hav put a barrier up so THT if it all fails it won't hurt so bad

[Hidden in reply to Jodie73]

Hello

You are not stupid but sometimes when people are nice that makes us more of a target for been taken advantage of but that does not make us stupid ...you love him & maybe I am not sure but sometimes the fear of letting go can feel worse than the rubbish they put us through even though when we take the plunge we realize eventually we did the right thing

I would give up trying to understand him , you never will only he knows what goes of in his head we can drive ourselves crazy if we keep trying to work out why others are behaving in a certain way

If he can justify in his head everything is your fault then he doesn't have to look at his own behaviour , easy way out of having to look at if he needs to change so many use that as a way of helping to believe their unacceptable behaviour is alright

You have lost yourself worth so that is why you will not believe when friends pay you compliments but ask yourself why would they say all these positive things about you if they were not true ..what would be the point , so they do see all these good qualities in you & I would see if you could get that counselling up & running again , stick with it this time even when you don't feel like it or sometimes it feels like hard work but the benefits you would get from going would be worth it ...Take Care x

[Jodie73 in reply to Hidden]

Hello tigger

This is realy spinny coz the councillor rang me this morning and asked if I'd like to make an appointment.... Wow how bizzar xo

[dolly11111]

First of all start looking out for you ie money acomidation,get smart he,s not going to change the lack of trust will cause you so much pain,startyour exit journey now ,and dont beat yourself ,you have done nothing wrong good luck 😊

[Jodie73 in reply to dolly11111]

Thanks dolly I have thought bout this and I am determined to do so it is going to take me a little while but I wil get there ... He is not going to ruin me completely.... Thanx for ur reply xx

[dolly11111]

Good luck as a 58 year old take it from me we are the only people responsable for making us happy if we leave it all to a partner ,we will be giving all our power away when you meat that perdon who is right for you ,you will be a stronger person ,love yourself first ,