Anxious About Possibility of Visiting Boyfriend (seven hours away)

[jschmidt]

Hey guys, so I'll try to get right to the issue at hand:

This summer, my boyfriend has an internship that is seven hours away. He's been gone since mid-June, and due to finances/work/etc., we have not been able to see each other. Well, one of his friends will be visiting him this weekend (Friday-Sunday/Monday), and my boyfriend thought it would be a great idea if I could get a ride with his friend up to visit him - saves money, etc.

Now, half of me is all for this. I have done absolutely nothing social this summer, as my anxiety and depression typically keeps me pretty secluded. The other half of me is scared out of my mind for so many reasons: Two seven hour drives with someone I don't know Hanging out with my boyfriend + random people I don't know - I tend to clam up and probably won't talk much until night when me and my boyfriend are alone in his room (friend will be staying in living room on couch). I have a minor soy intolerance (I get really bad headaches the next day/feel fatigued and bad), and I know that when I'm out with people I don't know (such as boyfriend and his friends), I won't want to bring it up because I don't want to drawa ny attention to myself. Also, I would want to come home Sunday morning, but his friend is planning Sunday evening/Monday morning, and it terrifies me that I have no control over my travel plans. I am at the will of this person.

There are other reasons, of course, that make me anxious, but I just don't know what to do. He is understanding and says it is fine I don't think I can do it, but I don't know if I should bite the bullet and go for it? Is it better to take baby steps and work myself up to things like this, or just jump all in? I'm just such a basket case. Any advice would be greatly appreciate - thanks!

(I made that pretty brief, so if any further details would help with anything, let me know!)

[BettyA]

I don't think you have to suffer from Anxiety to stew and fret over this... (so you really are doing ok! ) If you feel that uncomfortable with it, it 'could' be sign that this is just not the best thing to do. There is nothing WRONG with your concerns. If its ok with your boyfriend, as he says, to not come along ... then, just in my opinion, I wouldn't go along with this plan.

Maybe you could figure out another way to visit him, if he plans on being gone for quite some time.

I don't think this is 'anxiety'...I think this is just your inner self coming across something you are not having a good feeling about. DO NOT feel guilty. NOTHING is wrong with you.

[jschmidt in reply to BettyA]

Thanks for your opinion and advice. It is nice to hear that I'm not overreacting too much. I've almost been leaning towards going just to prove that I *can* do it, but I'm just not too sure if that's being wise or not - haha. It's bothering me a lot that I always feel extremely left out knowing that he's always hanging out with his friends while I'm sitting at home, so now that I finally have the opportunity to be a part of his life/activities, I can't even bring myself to do it.

[BettyA in reply to jschmidt]

Just do what you feel your heart says is right! And take care. You will be OK whatever you decide. Good luck!!

[audgeo]

why not take a bus, it would not be that expensive and you would not have to ride such a long way with a stranger.

[jschmidt in reply to audgeo]

I actually considered this! Haha. Surprisingly, the buses I found ended up being quite expensive, and it also turned the seven-hour drive into 10 or more hours.