Anxiety and depression

[MorganBriRice1]

I am 20 years old and I am going through the hardest time of my life. Not only do I suffer from a panic disorder, I also suffer from depersonalization/delrealization and I am clinically depressed. I just moved to Florence it last Monday from 2 hours away, just to get a new view on life. I moved in with my boyfriend of 1 year, and he also has problems..but they are commitment issues because his mom left him when he was 5. He used to have the tendency to break up with me, then come back a week later and repeat. And I thought that once I moved up there with him it would be different, that he wouldn't make me move back home or anything. And yesterday he just randomly broke up with me and said he wasn't happy and that his feelings for me were fading. But why would he move me up there if that were true? He also has a tendency to lie or change his mind constantly. And yesterday he made me move out, after just a week and a half! But all I know is I've never been so entirely overwhelmed in my life. I don't feel like being here anymore. I live in a small town that makes my depression even worse.

[Alan_98]

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through but I will be honest, I think you deserve better than this and I think you need to find yourself because I believe you are a wonderful and great person and you should keep your head up and have positivity ! 😊

[MorganBriRice1 in reply to Alan_98]

Thank you so much for the positive words! I just have an extremely hard time dealing with life, and feel hopeless most all of the time. I wish I knew the best way to get myself out of this deep hole that I am in. I feel alone. I know I'm not alone, many people in this world go through this or even worse, but I wish I could handle it and appreciate life.

[Alan_98 in reply to MorganBriRice1]

Then take the first step towards, you have that power in your hands to change everything and how your life is now, you can do better and be better, I wish the best of luck to you and of anything, we're all here for you and may God bless you and hey I think you're going to be okay and life is never easy but keep your head up ❤

[bel_hope in reply to Alan_98]

Great advise Alan.

[MorganBriRice1 in reply to Alan_98]

Thank you for your kind words! This helps more than you know. Life is a puzzle! You just have to fit the pieces together! May god bless you and everyone else who deals with life's hard struggles. If I've made it this far, I can keep on going!

[bel_hope]

Life is not easy, so why to have someone who will not make it enjoyable at the end? Be thankful that it happened now and not when you married him. I had my disppointments, and I had a relationship of over 20 years on and off. He was my first relationship and I met met him when I was a teenager. He never married me, never committed to me. He finally left me for somebody else, but guess who's fault was that? I was the one who allowed him to do this to me. You know what, it is not worthy to suffer for someone who doesn't love you, respect you, and doesn't care about you. Now is the time for you to take care of yourself, to love yourself and to help yourself to overcome your fears and anxiety. You are worthy and you will find someone who really deserves you. I know, it is hard. But I was able to move forward and you will too.

Hugs.

[MorganBriRice1 in reply to bel_hope]

Having this support and advise goes further than you know! You, and so many of the people I've talked to on this site, have helped me get through so much. Thank you for the wise words. I am only 20, I'm still figuring out who I am and what I'm worth. It's so hard because my anxiety makes me become so attached to people that it's so hard to let go. But I have to think about the future! Sometimes it's so dark in my minds that I feel like I'll never find my way out but I know that I can do this and getting positive words handed to me helps me build myself up. Thank you and may God bless

[amh6971]

I agree with the above. I think u need to focus on yourself. Your partner has issues which he needs to focus on to. I dont think the two of u together are good for each other right now. I wish u all the best. Remember there is light at the end of the tunnel i just have to fight hard to reach it.

[MorganBriRice1 in reply to amh6971]

Thank you for the advice, I agree with you. It took me a while to realize, but I have to do what's best. God bless