Hard time believing

Hi everyone, I'm very new to this. Like some of you im sure, I'm having a hard time believing all my symtoms are soley anxiety and depression based.

I have a 2 year old and the moment i got pregnant I stopped sleeping, mixed with relationship problems and being pregnant I started to feel down, my GP was aware and would keep an eye on me. After I gave birth I was still down and brought it to ky GPs attention he said if it's PP it would be chemical and I would need AD's.

Fast forward to now, I've probably slept through the night 10 times in the last 2.5 years ( wake up to pee or just wake up). Back in Jan I had a panic attack, at the time I didn't know what it was. I was dizzy and and my left arm went numb, I felt like I was on drugs, I ran outside and got some air, a week later same thing happened at a restuarant with my friend. Saw my doctor that week and he said it wasn't anxiety and maybe a pinched nerve and sent me to a neurologist who said it was stress lowering my blood pressure and Im about to pass out. Well things got worse! He ordered me an MRI(which I never got) and had an ECG, which I guess was fine. For months I was scared about my health and didn't seem to get better. My husband did research and though it was panic disorder.

A month or so after that I had the flu and was having a hard time breathing a week or so after. I went into my GP couldn't even sit in his office, I was in a sweat and had to open the door. He said I had bad anxiety and gave me clonazepam to help me sleep and hopefully get rid of anxiety. I'm SCARED of pills don't even take Tylenol so I never took them. My left side of my body kept going numb my fingers arm and face, and tightness. I couldn't work anymore, quit my job and recently had to quit school.

At this point I feel like I'm living in ground hog day, I feel like life is a dream and this isn't real, someday I can barely shower. If I didn't have kids Id be in bed all day, I'm dizzy exhausted and feel like a zombie. I won't leave the house anymore and having friends over is uncomfortable I feel like it's not real. I don't get excited for anything anymore.

My husband went into my doctors cause I can't leave the house. My GP gave my hubby Pristiq and Lorazepam and says I wont get better if I don't take it, he knows how scared I am of pills and 2 weeks later I still haven't taken them. My GP told my husband he's 100% positive this isn't a health issue its depression and anxiety. Everyday I'm struggling and my kids and starting to get affected by my mood. I feel like I'm going to faint everyday and like a truck hit me. If anyone has advice or can relate please let me know.

I have a CBT therapist who I've had 2 phone sessions with because I can't leave the house.

Thanks everyone im hoping talking about it will help me either take these pills or snap out of this.


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25 Replies

  • Sounds like you need over the counter magnesuim tablets what's a natural relaxant. Youtube search magnesium anxiety and depression and you will be pretty amazed by how vital this is to our body's and we can't produce it. Try not to panic I experience your symptoms and it's 100 percent what the doctor says. It's just because it's so crippling and odd that you panic and think it's something serious. Easier said than done I know as in a full blown bad anxiety attack you don't think sense at all

  • Thank you so much for your reply I will most definitely check that out, I'm willing to try anything other than anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. It's comforting to know I'm not alone but at the same time upsetting, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this as well. Have you managed to find any relief?

  • The magnisuim has helped alot you should try it. Might take a few weeks to feel the full benefit but worth the wait

  • I am so very sorry for what you are going through... I hope what I say to you will be said like I want it to sound...which is with total compassion...

    If we feel like it or not... we have to push through and do what we KNOW we need to do. No one will ever tell you its easy. And I know there is a tendency to think 'my case is worse than yours because you don't really understand what "I" am going through.' OH YES we do!! So please, please take comfort in knowing you are not the Lone Ranger.

    You are very, very, very much in need of a really good therapist... and YES YOU CAN find one and YES YOU CAN make up your mind that you WILL attend those sessions.

    It sounds like you have an understanding supportive husband and you have children...THEY are worth fighting for!! AND YOU...first of all...are worth all the effort.

    If you've tried therapy before and say it didn't work: TRY AGAIN...a different therapist...

    You sound like a very intelligent young woman and you have that going for you! The fact that you reached out to this community shows you have the RIGHT STUFF in you!!

    I avoid taking Rx meds...but do take one Ativan (.5( at night...and then I take natural stuff. I turned from a very extroverted person who loved going everything ALL the time...to someone afraid to take the bus to the local bookstore...but I AM overcoming it...Easy??? HELL NO!!...but I am proud of every step I take in the right direction. PLUS I have IBS which compounds my challenges...but you know what??? WE CAN ALL WIN THIS!!! Just please, please see a therapist and BE HONEST with him/her... You WILL get through this. Sending you a hug.

  • You definitely succeeded. Your message is very encouraging, I am sorry you are also suffering. Our stories sound similar, I could never stay at home, always out and about traveled any minute I had free and now I can't walk j to the wine store without feeling like I'm going to pass out and turning away an honestly sprinting home. Have you improved at all?

    I'm holding off on my meds unless it doesn't pass, I'm working out everyday and trying to get out for walks. Going out for walks Isnt the issue, is actually walking into the building that puts me in a tailspin.

    Atavan is the same as lorazepam right? Is it the one that dissolves under your tongue? I have it Incase of emergencies but my CBT therapist said it will interfere with her work so If I can I should avoid it. Im too scared to take out anyhow. Any bad experiences with it?

  • Yes, Ativan is the 'brand' name for Lorazepam...which is the generic version... I couldn't say for a certainty...but I didn't know they made a sublingual version of it...but I'm sure its possible...

    I am saying this truthfully to you...Your original posting really DID encourage me and I want to THANK you for that... because, yes, it made me look at myself...

    And what Aazz said in her reply is spot on!... I had to be honest and ADMIT to myself all I was doing was concentrating on the anxiety and constantly monitoring "how do I feel NOW" ... and like my granddaughter told me the other day..."Sometimes, you just have to fake it til you make it!" ... because we are constantly hypnotizing ourselves by our thoughts and our FOCUSING on those negative aspects...

    So. Both you and Aazz...THANK YOU for your words. Very much.

  • Your granddaughter is a very smart girl!

  • Thank you, Mama Katie! I'll tell her that you said so! :)

  • Your story sound very similar to mine. I started feeling this way when my daughter was 3 months old now 7 months later still going through it but I'm better. I was the same as you could not function barely showered would lie in bed all day if it wasn't for the kids, found it so difficult to do daily tasks, depressed etc. everything you said. I also could found it very hard to believe it's anxiety and still do. But I have found if you don't focus and worry about symptoms you do feel better it's very hard but I am worrying less and less about my symptoms there are good days and bad days but I am at the point where I can function I'm doing the housework again regularly, going out with the kids etc. I think the best way to get passed this is to re focus from the symptoms and stop being afraid of them just let them be and say to your self they will pass. I have started taking magnesium in the form of tissue salt ( look up tissue salts I think they are helping).

    My next goals are to improve lifestyle and diet so better food exercise and meditation it's very hard with the kids though.

    I wish you all the best it will get better if you believe it xxx

  • I wrote you a 'thank you' in my 2nd reply to Knights... I very much appreciate you!

  • Thank you too BettyA!

    That's exactly me constantly checking in how I feel pretty much all day is about how I feel very hard to break that cycle but I am much better. And sometimes When I realise I feel good I worry about why I'm not nervous it can really get ridiculous.

    Like you said we can do it :)))

  • Yes, we clearly have similar situations, I totally understand. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Not ony are we dealing with something ao servere but we also have young kids that we have to look out for and that may make things a little harder to achieve. I'm trying not to focus too much on what's going on and hope that helps lift it a bit. Although my doctor saying I won't get better unless I take meds isn't very encouraging.

    What anti depressant have you tried? I'm absolutely terrified to try any medication.

  • I'm afraid to take medication too, even though its been recommended by three different therapist. I refuse, its my last resort which sometimes I've Gotten to but ill have a good day and chicken out. You're so strong because the way you describe how you feel, I can relate to, and I can hardly function some days but you are up and going, pushing through for your baby. I hope you feel better.


  • I have tried Zoloft and Paxil. I had a bad experience with both but I don't want to scare anyone off the meds so I won't go into details. To be honest I wish I could push through the 2 weeks of side effects so that I can get relief but I just can't. I think it is worth trying you and others on here who are scared may do fine not everyone is effected the same.

    I am currently reading Hope and help for your nerves by Claire weekes it's amazing so far.

  • Oh and I just wanted to add to knight mares that I am not on ssri medication I could never get through the side effects I am too sensitive but I do have diazapam which I only take very occasionally it really does help only problem is it makes me sleepy and I can't be sleepy with my kids and I'm afraid of addiction issues so I think it is a good medication for occasional use if you are really struggling.

  • Hello...I was reading these comments and you all seem so genuinely concerned and thoughtful for one another. I am 35 mother of 3 always had stressful chaotic life but managed to push through fine. Suddenly 2 weeks ago I have been living in pure torture. I fear I am going crazy to the point I have cried to husband about what to do if I end up hospitalized. My Dr and therapist insist that it is extreme anxiety but I can't make myself believe that something as simple as anxiety could just suddenly paralyze my entire life. I am afraid to be around my kids because I don't want them to see me this way. I fear my husband will have enough and throw his hands up and leave. My Dr prescribed me Xanax as needed and Paxil which I just started 4 nights ago. Help me am I going crazy. I am constantly having the intrusive thoughts and just pray that this was something medical that could be "cured". I haven't left the house in a week and missed work and all my kids functions and now I'm obsessing over bad things that could come from the meds. I feel like I am the most hopeless extreme case out there right now and it's so overwhelming and exhausting. Thanks for reading.

  • This sounds all too familiar, You poor thing. Try and relax and not think about it ( as hard as it may be) the most you focus on it the worst obviously your symptoms will be. My hands were numb for a week once, the moment I spoke to my brother and he said it was all in my head, it went away instantly. It's given me a bit of confidence knowing that this is in fact anxiety and depression based.

    I know exactly how you feel, I avoid my kids and get my husband to take them out so they dont see me this way. You need to try and suck it up even for a little bit so they know you're there for them. My oldest is 6 and I told/ tell her I'm just not feeling well and I'm still here for cuddles and stories I just can't be too active. I myself haven't left my house in a long time. I know where you are coming from.

    How are the Meds working out? I'm here if you need to vent I feel like it was myself who wrote your comment. It's unfortunate, but take comfort in knowing others are in the same boat as you and you're not alone. As well as if we all have the same symptoms it is most definitely all anxiety related.

  • I know exactly how you are feeling I was where you are at a few months ago my husband had to quite work for 2 months as I was unable to cope with the kids. There is some light I am much better I am functioning let's say 60% normal. But I have more work to do and there are always bad days/weeks but it's better.

    I would say give the meds a shot they may work for you?

    If any of you ever want talk feel free to message me :)

  • this is EXACTLY what I'm going through right now!! except I dont have kids so i do stay in bed basically all day. nothing feels real anymore, my life feels like a dream. I'm always dizzy, lightheaded, tired, I never get sleep!! I feel you on a strong level. I'm also scared of taking pills, I'm scared of the side affects though. which is stupid because ive had every symtom possible in the pas few weeks. I hope there is help somewhere for us both!! :(

  • I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I've been experiencing the dizziness, head Heavy, feel like I jerk, and like im going to faint but don't for the last three Weeks. Its horrible and I lay around all day and night mostly. Just try to do what relaxes you: get some quiet time, watch your favorite TV shows, movies, listen to music, read and try to get better sleep. It can be hard but sleep really affects my anxiety, so if I can get 8 or 9 hours I feel a lot better. I hope you feel better.


  • Hi.

    Welp . My advice , avoid the meds. I wish I did but I didn't know all about getting anxious 24/7 & having panic attacks . I was educated in general anxiety after a dumb , idiotic thing yrs ago..me being a stupid teen , well afterwards felt anxious & me trusting in ppl , prescribed to me was meds. If you don't want to take them, to chill , I say don't. People being anxious is a natural emotion .., but with us we feel anxious but it's 24/7.. lol it sucks. But you're great in getting a therapist. I have one , she's cool. She got me educated on this whole anxiety , & gives me tips. It's the best , plus she has anxiety, too. I agree with everyone , take the natural route. Those meds ....ugh they suck more than our anxiety 😒. But anyways, yes what you're doing is great!! & being on here is great , too. Don't let this be a clutch ...we are a community, but don't rely on this 24/7 for reassurance, learn to reassure yourself that this is only anxiety & that you're fine. That's what I'm learning , myself. I'm on like several forums though lol😂 ..welp , I now you're doing great in your therapy sessions ..next goals should be baby steps , going to at least one therapy session at his/her office or going to a store & picking up one item..could be early in the morning or late at night ..or maybe getting a bite at a cafe or picking up a book from the library. I was like you , not wanting to go anywhere & I regret that , learned a bunch but still , you'll regret it more , staying inside than pushing yourself to walk outside ..update us on things :)) k? :)

  • You are all truly inspiring. We are all in this together and I am sure glad to know I am not alone. God bless you all.

  • I know what you are going through and i take .5mg lorazepam every morning. That's when my anxiety is the worst. I start to feel better about 30 minutes later. I feel I owe it to my family to take this med. Your baby and husband are your priority. Stay busy caring for them plus exercise, drink water, eat healthy even when you are not hungry, get hobby, take kids to park. Your anxiety will still be there but push thru and stay active and you will be surprised how it doesnt get magnified when you are busy with family and activities.

  • Or that's awful message For a chat because I'm the same in scared it's not normal feeling like this

  • Hi there

    I have been told that all my symptoms are in my head. Given anti-depressants and like you hate taking pills..Told I MUST take them. After a while I cut down to half a tablet a day, hasn't made any difference to how I feel, just want to come off them.

    I have had 4 panic attacks; never happened before in my life. I am 59 and it all started with my doctors confusing me with my actual diagnoses. Telling me I have a condition but when going to discuss it, telling me I don't have anything wrong.

    I have kidney stones which I didn't learn about until 2 years after being found.

    Dismissed by the urologist, since then found a polyp on the kidney. No concern.

    Difficulty in swallowing, especially fluids.....chocked and couldn't breathe one day.

    Burning sensations on breast bone. Told it's Gerd, given Lansoprazole to combat stomach acids, even though I said I don't experience acid regurgitation. Stopped taking them after 4 months. Lump in throat feeling comes and goes, most frightening and difficult to cope with. All down to anxiety?

    Sent for CBT but cannot believe it's all in my mind. 8 weeks of trying to convince me.

    Thought I might have primary hyperparathyroidism but just been dismissed by an Endocrinologist who knows sod all about the condition. He just felt my throat and looked at my blood test results of over 4 months ago!!!

    I have lost over a stone in weight in about 4-6 months, this Endo asked me if I knew why and when I said I had tried to avoid certain foods to cut down my cholesterol he referred me back to GP. I explained I don't understand why I am told I have high levels, but diet control. Saw the practice nurse who told me I don't need to worry about that either.

    I still feel like crap most days, just struggle on.

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