Spouse not understanding. Having to leave ... - Anxiety Support

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Spouse not understanding. Having to leave my own house today.

Crazygirl33 profile image
17 Replies

Thank you. Melanie29. Last night my husband brought me my meds. He seemed to be understanding, but this morning, at about 5:30 am, he woke me up and started going nuts on me because I forgot to put the clothes in the dryer. He said I was useless and choked me, pulled my hair, said more horrible things and, then spit on my face. Of course I'm gonna have to leave, but I feel like he should be the one to leave. And he's so petty, he took my medicine. He does that from time to time to try and hurt me. I knew this was coming, he said that my anxiety was just an excuse to be lazy. This happens, (his temper) about once a month. I'm so sick of it. So I'm gonna have to leave my own house. And I have a 10 year old little girl to think about. When this has happened before he has tried to keep her from me. And he burned my clothes, pics, and other things of mine about 10 years agof, when I was pregnant with our daughter. This is last thing I needed today. He also took my keys to the car. There's more that happened, but I don't want to ramble. God, please be with me and help me to make the best decision for me and my daughter. He told me to leave my phone, also.

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Crazygirl33 profile image
Crazygirl33
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17 Replies

Hello

This is dreadful what he has done to you and as I was reading your post I was cringing with upset to think someone could treat someone in the way he has you !

No you should not leave your house but what you should do is report him to the police !!!!

He has abused you and they would press charges against him as well as stopping him coming near the house and you would have priority because your have you daughter

My advise would be phone the police !

We are all here to support you and please let us know how you are later :-)

Take really good care of yourself because you are worth so much more than this

Take Care x

Anxietytroll profile image
Anxietytroll

Hi Crazygirl33 ,I'm so sorry you are experiencing this I too was a victim of abuse.My advice to you is get OUT and get Out now! Its not going to change it will only get worse! Trust me I was in a abusive relationship for 13 years bore 5 kids for this man and he abused me the entire relationship! It hurts my feelings to hear that u are going through this it brings back so many painful memories! The hardest part is letting go but once you've made that decision you'll feel so much better and you have to do what's in the best interest of your child . when kids are involved it intensify the situation!!! Just think about her and make a decision quick!! U can message me anytime for help if u need it!!

Hello

Ever since you did this post I have been thinking about you and hoping the you are ok

Please if you get the opportunity come back and let us know you are safe & well :-) x

Crazygirl33 profile image
Crazygirl33 in reply to

Thank you so much. I'm ok. My daughter and I are at my mother's. I am taking my medication, but this is just so much to take on. He has been abusive before, so I left and took her with me. We went to counseling and it got better. But about once a month he'll go off on me for anything. I just am trying to get my head straight and do what's best for my daughter. She doesn't have a clue that he's laid his hands on me, which I'm grateful for. But she loves her daddy, dishes thinks he hung the moon. I don't want to keep her from him. I just don't know.

in reply to Crazygirl33

I am so pleased you have come on and let us know how you are , I actually was thinking about you today and thinking I have not see that young women on here and I hope she is alright , so thank you for letting us know you are and it is a relief to know you are safe at your Mums for now

You are right at this moment your Daughter does not have to know anything and of course she loves her Dad because he may be a fantastic Dad but her is not a fantastic husband /partner , it is not acceptable to abuse anyone not once a month , once a year or how ever many times and it very much seems like he cannot change and this is only my opinion but men like this usually continue and the problem is we hang on just for those few days , weeks months when they are been nice to us but deep down we know it is coming again and how much can we take , we already have problems this just keeps us down and eventually could break us and your Daughter needs her Mum to !

But it can be so scary trying to break away , people that are been abused get so used to it that it becomes normal to them sometimes but believe me it is far from normal and you are worth so much more and deserve better !

If and I know it is an if but if you did decide to put a full stop to this once and for all your Daughter would not loose her Dad she would still have him and be able to see him ?

My first marriage ended some years ago now ( married again have been 22 years ) but my 2 Daughters had the best of both worlds as they were with me and then saw their Dad every weekend and it has not affected them at all , it is never the right reason to stop with someone for the sake of a child/children eventually if things are not right they do pick up on it

Anyway you have to do what is right for you and what ever that is everyone is here to support you :-)

You put yourself first and your safety and whenever you can keep popping on and letting us know you are ok :-) x

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Crazygirl33, I'm thinking of you and hope you are safe. xx

Mariemurphy2006 profile image
Mariemurphy2006

Crazygirl133: Please think about yourself and your daughter. Is there somewhere you can go when your daughter returns from school? Can you call someone to pick you up? Do not stay in the house. Please be careful. Good Luck, Merf1

Pat9 profile image
Pat9

OMG please get away from this monster, as others have said call the police he should be made to leave you not the other way round, please seek help xx

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Pat9

I agree Pat9, he should be made to leave. He has not only physically abused her, but emotionally as well taking her meds, car keys and phone and not letting her see her daughter. I pray for her safety.

Hope you are okay.. x

Pat9 profile image
Pat9 in reply to Agora1

Hi Agora yes bearing up love.. :) I felt sick when I read this poor lady's post she needs help and should not be looked at as the wrong one here especially with a child hope your well Agora xx

Anxious2befree profile image
Anxious2befree

I'm hoping you are ok ? Please get help and report him to the police at least make a statement so they can keep it on file. Your child needs to come first and you by not staying in that situation. Please let us all know if you and your daughter are ok ??? Worried :(

Crazygirl33 profile image
Crazygirl33 in reply to Anxious2befree

Thank you so much. My daughter and I are staying with my mother, but I'm worried it won't be long before he's calling me to come get her. She has never ever seen this side of him, thank God. But she adores him. I don't want her to know what he's done. But I want to keep her safe. Nervous about what tomorrow is going to bring.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Crazygirl33

Crazygirl, you don't know how many of us have been to concerned for your safety. I'm glad that you are safe right now with your mom. Just know the law is on your side. You may need to step out of your comfort zone to make sure both you and your daughter are kept from harms way. My best to you. Keep us informed. xx

Anxious2befree profile image
Anxious2befree

Just make sure he doesn't take her and keep her from you ! Please seek legal advice before letting her go with him even for a minute. I have seen this happen time and time again please keep safe and don't take any chances now you are finally away from him. Take care xx

My ex partner was controlling in similar ways. I was with him for 13yrs and it wasn't till my daughter was 8mnths old I left him. That was 12 yrs ago and still he controlling he tells people in my town I'm mental. He is still trying thru court to get my daughter taken away. I suffer daily with various mh probs cuz of him.

I'm crying right now after reading that, it sounds like me 12 yrs ago. You have to ring police. I can get that you scared. Every time I went to ring police or my family he would smash my phone. If I went to shops he would have people watching me, he threatened me constantly n it was also physically abusive. I'm willing to give you my number rather than on here to talk.

2stroke profile image
2stroke

Crazygirl33

Sounds like he's a control freak, get away while you can.

You hear on tv news, plenty of times about domestics ending in tragedy.

Or

At least inform the authorities on------------------------------------------------------

-----------gov.uk/report-domestic-abus... the web.

GOOD LUCK to you and your daughter.

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