Sad / drama / need to vent

What a day. It sucked.

Anyone else ever have panic so bad there’s face and head pressure? I had it so bad today that my eyesight blurred. I hate that. It freaks me out.

I got random crying bursts at my desk and my legs randomly shook.. it was weird.

So yeah.. I did the gym, cool.

Then I left and got that random wave of depression. It sucked. Totally confusing. It has to be withdrawals.

I called my boyfriend crying and felt bad because I kept him up. It turned into an argument over his roommate because she has been so friggen rude to me.

Long story short, I spent the last month at my boyfriend’s when I took time off work. He got a new roommate after me being there (it’s his house) but she continually asked me how long I’m staying. She looked concerned and annoyed. It was weird and I didn’t tell him about it.

It got to the point where she started (what I saw as) flirting with my boyfriend. He’d do something nice for me and she’d say, “I expect the same treatment on my birthday hehe.” She asked him to cut her hair after she says she cuts her hair herself. She ignores me. She saw us holding hands and she said, “That’s disgusting.” She constantly asks him to invite her out on our date nights. She cries hysterically when she sees us cuddling (..yeah). He took me out to the beach and she passive aggressively told him there’s sand everywhere and asked me to put on slippers.. in his house. Then the icing: she asked me “you are leaving soon, right?” via text. My boyfriend thought this was super rude but seems to not think anything of the other stuff. I trust him obviously but if I’m totally honest, I came back to NYC because of this. I felt so unwelcomed after that. It sucked. And when I had my panic today and mood swings, I really realized I resent her.

I don’t think I was ready to come back but who would be? I’m really trying to stay positive but it’s hard.

So anyway, we had an argument today. He wanted to talk to her after that text but I didn’t want to start anything. So he didn’t. But I guess part of me wished he would because I would neeeever let someone do that to him. So I brought it up. It’s honestly so awkward that she probably likes him but I don’t know what to do.

The first time she cried, she had her door open so I went to see if she was ok and brought her food. I helped her move in and lifted sooo many bags so I just feel like I was taken advantage of. Ugh

I also get that it’s probably weird for her to have me there. But it’s different because it’s my boyfriend’s house and she rents the room, not the whole place..

I’m just stressed. My family is so over me talking about hypochondria, Zoloft, and only wants to talk about good things. I get it. But it’s lonely. My sister swore at me today when she was drinking and it triggered panic. Now I’m afraid I pushed my boyfriend away by bringing this up again but it got brought up because it wasn’t handled.. and it wasn’t handled because I told him not to. Ugh

Also, his roommate made a comment about my best friend for no reason (his sister). She said she should never have kids.. and it really upset me. I just feel like she says messed up crap and doesn’t have boundaries. Then it pissed me off when she was nice to her face.

Soooo what should I do? My mood swings have been so up and down during this withdrawal that I’m afraid I’ll snap at her. Ugh

❤️

[Krn210]

Honestly, she sounds like a toxic person. I would be questioning her motives if I were in your position. I would be honest with your boyfriend and lay it all out for him. After that I think you and your boyfriend should have a talk with her together.

[Hidden in reply to Krn210]

Right???? I seriously question if I’m overreacting with this crap. My boyfriend owns the place and I totally get that he needs a roommate to help with the mortgage. He said he regrets having her specifically move in but he sucks with confrontation. I’m nice and hate confrontation but I’m very good at it. I just do not want to snap at her because my mood has been so bonkers lately.

I think he knows it’s there but he said “I’ll talk to her and ask what her deal is cuz we won’t know til we ask.” I was like, “do you really think she’ll admit what she’s up to..” hahaha. I know he wouldn’t do anything but him playing devil’s advocate just makes me feel like he thinks I’m just jealous or something. The only thing I’m jealous of is how she doesn’t have panic like I do.

[Krn210 in reply to Hidden]

Lol on that last part!! No she won’t admit it and will probably try turning it all around. I can understand not wanting to go through the hassle of finding another roommate...but girl sounds like bad news.

[Hidden in reply to Krn210]

That’s what I said. I told him “1. She’s not going to admit it, whether she likes you or not. 2. If she DOESN’T like you, it is effecting me because she’s pushing buttons and essentially asked me to leave your house. So I wanna know either way why I can’t feel welcome there.” He texted me this morning and said he’s gonna work it out. I think me saying I only left because she essentially guilted me to made him feel really bad. I wasn’t trying to guilt him at all! I just wanted to be honest so I’m glad he gets it kinda

[Krn210 in reply to Hidden]

I don’t think you guilted him. He needed to know why you left.

[Hidden in reply to Krn210]

You’re right. He was really sad when I left.

[Hidden]

Is she the cause of how you have been feeling lately?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Not really. I started to feel bad in February after some stress concerning money, which I handled, but then I got a stomach bug that triggered my IBS.. it wouldn’t go away so I got freaked out that I had a stomach issue, which lead to panic.. which lead to hypochondria and panic disorder. I felt so so bad on Zoloft, and she moved in the day I tapered. I seriously thought that maybe it was just my mood swings from it (I started snapping and getting really jealous) and I honestly think some of this is? I usually brush crap off. But it’s all been adding up and my withdrawals have been awful. I only left Boston because she made me feel unwelcome so I think maybe that’s making things worse.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

So you are away from her now, you are not staying with your bf?

I think if anybody had to put up with someone like her they would be just as bothered as you are, I wonder what her game is.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yup.. he lives in Boston and me in nyc, so when I took my sick leave, I stayed at my boyfriend’s. She’s there and I left.. I think that’s when my boyfriend realized there’s actually a problem.

I borrowed her computer once and saw she had been bookmarking my social media and his relationship status page from Facebook.. it’s weird. I honestly think she thought her moving in meant she’d be closer to him and she wasn’t expecting me to be there. She kept asking how often I’d be there.. we have a long distance relationship and it’s his house so I was definitely confused.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

She sounds creepy, why is your bf letting her stay there, couldn't he get another lodger and tell her to leave?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That’s where I’m at. They were coworkers at one point and he needed money for the mortgage, and she asked if she could lodge. Where he’s at now, is that he doesn’t want her there if she likes him. Where I’m at is that I don’t want her to be rude and push buttons. Even if she doesn’t like him then I’m not sure why she’s doing what she does. Ugh

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It seems very confusing.. Tell your bf to get another lodger and tell her to leave, you should be there, not her.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yep lol. I’m going there for the weekend for Boston Calling but I am literally anxious to because of this. I feel like this crap is so immature (and she is young.. she’s 22 and I’m almost 28, he’s 32). I told him if it’s not handled then she’s not gonna like me snapping the next time she does something.

She legit asks him “when are you gonna do that for ME” if he does anything sweet for me. It’s gross. And she ate my cookies and then told me to wear slippers inside his house hahahaha

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Maybe you need to put your foot down and sort her out once and for all.

She seems very immature. I wish you well when dealing with her..

Don't let her get to you. Enjoy being there with your bf.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ya, I’m just worried because my temper has been so short during my Zoloft withdrawal. I’m really hoping I don’t act like an idiot. I kept telling him, “I just don’t want her to feel like how I feel.” But at this point.. she isn’t gonna ask my boyfriend for a friggen haircut after she brags she’s capable of cutting hers herself. Ughhhhh. She is not gonna like what I’ll have to say

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

If you don't sort it out soon it will drag on and on. Maybe her feeling bad will make her see sense, you need to stand up for yourself and your bf. Maybe she knows it is annoying you and she is getting a kick out of it.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh I think she is. I’ve never seen anything like it before. It definitely stresses me out!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sort her out, stop letting her ruin your happiness, she has no right to do that.

Let me know how it goes for you and don't be afraid to chat with me anytime at all.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you sooo much, Jimmy! Def have a bit of anxiety about it but I’m hoping it’s squared away asap.. my bf said we’re going out tonight and I’m not sure why since we planned on chilling in sooo I think something may have happened lol

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I hope it goes well and gets sorted ☺️

Make sure you really enjoy your weekend to make up for what has been happening. 😁

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you sooo much!!! We’re going to go see Tame Impala tomorrow at Boston Calling 😊

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That could be really good! 😊

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes indeed!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

So you have a great weekend ahead of you, forget all of the annoying stuff and go party..live!

And think of us who won't be there enjoying the music 😂

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hahahaha!! I’ll post some pics after 😊

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That would be great,I look forward to seeing them. 😁

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your friendship!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I was just thinking the same.

Thank you.

[SxufferingSxoul]

If I were you I would talk to him about it and tell him how it made me feel especially. And yes I have gotten that pressure feeling in my face! Not only my face, but neck, eyes and shoulders, it’s scary I know. Also I think it would be a good idea to talk to him about your issues with hypochondria and mood swings, if you’re worried about suddenly snapping at her. Girl it’s pretty obvious that she is heckin jealous of you, why else would she constantly ask if you’re leaving lol, if she did that with me, I would be pissed off and annoyed so much smh.

[Hidden in reply to SxufferingSxoul]

Oh yes.. we have talked so much about it. I kept in the issues concerning her for a while but it got bad. I think she is jealous and I don’t know what to do! I go over there today and honestly feel like I’m dreading it a little bit because I don’t want issues but I don’t want to let things keep sliding.

[SxufferingSxoul in reply to Hidden]

I feel like a good solution would be for you guys to hang out somewhere else rather than his house, somewhere far away from her in general, that way neither one of you three would get hurt xx

[Hidden in reply to SxufferingSxoul]

Yeah He’s being really reasonable and told me he’s going to handle it. He said if she likes him she can’t live there. I just don’t think she’ll actually admit to it lol!

[SxufferingSxoul in reply to Hidden]

She probably knows she is going to get rejected lol, because he is taken by someone strong and amazing either that or she is just simply “nervous”

[Hidden in reply to SxufferingSxoul]

Right!! Like she knows nothing will happen. I’m not worried about him. But if she keeps saying the things that she says, what’s next..? I literally asked him “what would you do if she like tried sitting on your lap” and he’s like “obviously I’m not ok with that but that’s a little ridiculous!” I told him yes I know it is but she seems to keep doing weird crap soooo.. I’m just like asking lol

[Kkimm]

Hi

Your bf's flatmate does sound as if she had issues!

I really get how hurtful friends and family can be without meaning to in the case of your family and bf.

When I was really at my worst time, I was incredibly ill with GAD and depression, although not yet diagnosed. I had no appetite, was rapidly loosing weight and constantly had nausea and diarrhea. I had just gone through being put on an urgent cancer pathway by my GP and undergone a horrible endodcopy for which I later got the all clear. Despite all this I always tried to be postive. When I said in a happy way to my husband what a relief it all was I got the all clear he said with real anger in his voice that I had been a really miserable person for the last few weeks, difficult for him to put up with and so he was glad it was over as well.

I have never stopped being hurt that he reacted like that and has carried on really failing to understand what I am going through and often gets really angry with me for no good reason.

I am very fortunate in having a grown up daughter who really gets it even though she has never been ill with it herself. She rang me every day even when busy in a new job while I was ill and will always listen endlessly when I need to talk. I ofcourse will listen endlessly to any problems she has too, as I would for my husband also. He can be a good listener also but really down not understand.

At first his attitude damaged our relationship alot but now I have learned to accept his limitations. He actually has social anxiety and interestingly, far from helping him to understand me it, in a way makes him react in a worse way, possibly because I was always the strong one and it scared him when I was ill. I still carried on cooking meals and doing chores etc even at my worst but often got in a muddle and was terrified when I had to go out food shopping. I scurried home again as soon at I had bought the basics.

He shows his love in other ways by all the little things he does for me, as well as being great company most of the time and in many ways my best friend.

I guess we have to accept people for their limitations as well as their strengths.

I value this forum so much for the support we give each other.

Kim

[Hidden in reply to Kkimm]

Oh you poor thing!!!! I had no idea. I know, it is so hard sometimes to deal with family and partners who just don’t get it. Like, who wants to feel better, if not yourself?!?

See? I couldn’t even cook during my worst episode. I thought I would faint every time I left the bedroom. But I can relate to the shopping.

I value that you can recognize the good in your husband and why the bad is the way it is. We’re all so so uniquely complex. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

So glad you’re doing better. I can seriously relate to the stomach issues. My panic was so bad my appetite just went away.

[Kkimm in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so such, I value your support more than I can say.

Kim

[Bilabong]

Blurred eyesight is definitely one of the withdrawal symptoms. But it will pass.☺

[Hidden in reply to Bilabong]

Thanks so much!!

[Kkimm]

Hi Unicornsrule

Just wondering how you are doing as I have not heard from you for a while.

Really hope everything is going OK.

All the best

Kim

[Hidden in reply to Kkimm]

Hi you!! I’m on limited service but I’m hanging in there! Still feel so spacey? And mood swings at times.. I’m hoping it passes How are you?

[Kkimm in reply to Hidden]

Hi

I am good thanks, not had much breathlessness at all lately which was my last remaining symptom.

I think the being spacey and the mood swings will definitely pass with time. I think you said in your other post that your mood is better so that is really good.

Hang on in there you will feel back to your old self again I am sure.

Kim