Can't get out of the house and its killing me

Hi there

I am a 49 year old female who for the last 10/11 years finds it really difficulty to get out of the house.

My daughter and grandaughter live with me who keep me going but my daughter does all my shopping and pays my bills so i don't have to get stress thinking about it. I really don't understand it i get so mad when im forced to go out i shout and scream at people in the street cos i think they're laughing at me or calling me, i feel knee high to a grass hopper, my breathing gets hard my air ways close up sometimes so bad i have to go to hospital.

I don't want to be like this i want to be like other women my age who take their granchildren to the park after school or just somewhere nice i feel my life coming to an end because i don't want to be any trouble to my daughter (shes a really really great daughter who never complains) she as a boyfriend and life of her own she really doesn't need to be worrying about me am i the only one like this please help i need to know?

5 Replies

  • Hello

    This type of problem is treatable, you will need to see your GP and He will arrange for someone to help you

    Do not worry you are not just the only one with this problem, let your GP know of this problem

    Good Luck


  • Hello

    It sounds like your anxiety has created agoraphobia & I to have the same problem when it comes to going out

    I usually start getting angry with others in the house through fear when I know I have to go out which is only when it is the doctors or something like that as I will avoid other things as much as possible but slowly it is getting better

    Are you getting any support from your Doctor ...I know you may feel you can not make it to the doctors as I have felt this way to but you could ask for a telephone call if it is really impossible for you to go , but you really need to get some support

    There is exposure therapy which I know has been very successful as well as talking therapies which you really need to be referred for

    Meanwhile , try & take little steps literally , set a goal to do each day , not a big one , maybe just walking to your garden gate if you have one , standing there for 5 minutes then coming in , when you feel comfortable doing that then maybe go through the gate to the first lamp post & so on but take it slowly & feel as comfortable as you can before you move onto the next goal you set

    I really hope you will speak to your doctor & get some support & please do not feel bad about been this way , it won't be forever , agoraphobia creeps up on you without you realizing it but slowly we can reverse it , be kind to yourself & praise & feel proud with every little achievement you make ...Take Care x

  • Hi. It sounds like your daughter has become your carer . Have you had any form of Therapy through your mental health team like CBT your daughter should not have to take all the responsibility of your care . If you have been diagnosed with any anxiety disorders then you should be having therapy . Only you can help yourself. Your daughter with all her fantastic support is not a mental health professional. Every journey starts with one small step . You can take control of your life again and enjoy all the things you want to do. I am a mother and grandmother and that's what motivates me . I feel empowered that my kids turn to me for help in their times of need. I am 64yr old and have suffered anxiety/panic disorders for over 35yrs but it hasn't stopped me working full time. Doing charity work etc. Please keep us posted on your journey and remember we are behind you all the way. Good luck x

  • I have had periods of this all through my life and I also know many others who have the same your not alone .. one thing which helped me immensely was the chance buying of Dr Claire Weekes books on this it helped me no end.. two I would advise you to get is Peace from Nervous Suffering and Self Help for your nerves.. one of them, can't remember which one deals soley with agoraphobia and is excellent and so easy to read.. good luck and know your not alone and many can empathise x

  • Hi there

    Im a 50 year old woman and I developed agoraphobia due to my anxiety after the breakdown of a relationship that Id moved away from home for,,, that was 18 month ago and I had a period of having panic attacks all day long , in the house and I couldn't go out, it was awful, but Ive had cbt and therapy along with medication and Im slowly getting my life back. Theres no quick fix, it takes determination and a lot of work and I Had to push myself a little,not too much but a little...

    In time it does get better and the things you couldn't do, you find you can again. Im still a work in progress, but I go out and Im getting my life back..

    Good Luck and keep fighting,,,, xx

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