Getting depressed - fear or premonition?

hi I'm I've been feeling really down this month after finsh paying off my honeymoon ( I'm getting married in April) I had no phobia of flying really until I made the final payments now I am convinced it's my death sentence and I cannot picture myself going away. I also had a dream my plane crashed after I thought everything was ok. My mum also had a dream my plane goes down and that she should have listened to me. Obviously she knows how scared I am and now this has really freaked me out as she dreamt my brother was going to die and he nearly did with appendicitis the next day. However she assures me she doesn't have a bad feeling about me going Way and that I must of put the idea in her head for her to dream it. Anyway I'm really terrified and full of what ifs I'm convincing myself I will die and it's getting me so depressed when I should be happy I'm getting married!! It's all I think about lately I can't plan ahead or look forward to anything as I think this is it.

Thank you for your time

2 Replies

  • Sorry for the bad spelling I'm on my phone!! I just feel everything in my life is too good to be true and its not going to last hence the plane crashing!

  • I can relate to this so much. I had an absolutely horrendous year last year, so for me my 2014 was all about picking up the pieces and growing a thicker skin. Now, when something good/positive happens to me, I have this overwhelming sense of self-doubt and panic that it's all going to go down in flames. I know it's because things went so badly for me over the last couple of years and it's as if being truly happy is alien to me. Like, I kind of feel like I don't deserve to be happy and that there must be a catch.

    Anyway, all this panic and low mood has actually only hit me over the last couple of days because on Thursday I had an amazing reconciliation with someone I really cared about and lost touch with, and now I'm worried that it's too good to be true and I'll never see him again/I'll lose touch with him again! Of course, I need to rationalise and remind myself that our destiny is in our control...I can send him a text anytime and make plans happen! But it's hard getting rid of the residual anxiety that I've build up. So today, I've been writing things down a lot in order to reflect. Reading my thoughts back makes me realise I'm being irrational and panicking unnecessarily. Nothing bad has happened...if it does, that is the time to panic! But not now. I've also been doing a lot of mindfulness today using the podcasts on to help me focus on the present and stop panicking about the future.

    So yeah, in a very roundabout way I am saying that mindfulness is an exceptional tool that has really worked for me in the past (and today!). It is very easy to become overwhelmed and panicky about the future, and sometimes it's beneficial to just bring yourself back to the present. Deep breathing and mindfulness...simple but effective :)



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