Fear of Grief

[Worrywort321]

Hello everyone! Hope you all survived and managed to enjoy Christmas!

I have this fear of grief and it's upsetting me quite a bit. I think I've had it for a while but after Christmas it brings it up again. I'm just really scared to go through grief and of losing a loved one. I'm also scared now of dying of a broken heart as I've heard that can happen. But yeah this started recently as my dog is getting older and she is basically my best friend and I can't imagine her not being around. Thanks for any advice and replies x

[Gambit62]

Is your dog ill at the moment.

Grief is actually a very natural process. I know its scary to think of the pain that it seems to involved but its a change process and any change involves going through a process that involves a degree of 'mourning' - though sometimes we go through the mourning phase quite quickly.

It may be that part of the fear is about being judged because you will be grieving for a pet but reality is that most of us have pets and will understand that grief. In some ways the grief associated with losing a pet can be particularly poignant because there is so much of a mixing of our personality and the personality of our pet that it feels like we are losing a part of ourselves. Seeing a pet in pain or with declining quality of life can be so difficult as well because of the enormous responsibility we have for their care.

I tend to take a day off work when I lose a pet and nobody has ever regarded that as odd.

In terms of the how the fear is affecting you and all the other thoughts that seem to be coming, this post might help you understand a bit how the fear response is working and help you find a way out of the vicious circle it can become

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

[Natsteveo]

Hi worrywart-1234

You sound just like me but whereas your fear is grief...mine is death...it consumes me rules me and takes over me. seems our minds everything when we have any fears.

But it's not us...It's our anxiety that's creating the fear and because we constantly worry and fear it we are just feeding it I'm constantly worry about my and my family's health any lump bump cough cold I start to worry I get pains in my chest I assume I'm having heart attack which then my fear of dying kicks in...

I've lost my mum and grief is hard it really is but because my mum died that's where my fear kicked

I do hope you get to settle down soon I hope I do too....

Enjoy your Christmas

Love Nat xx

[Kiera49 in reply to Natsteveo]

Sorry your feeling that way my friend died 3 weeks ago I was devastated and made me think of me dying. I have had cancer and now 5 years clear, that changes your perspective. I used to think of dying quite a lot but I have found God (Now faith isn't for everyone) but has helped me. Hope you feel better soon remember worrying won't change anything just try to live for the moment and enjoy life. Love to you all take care

[jessiejakes in reply to Kiera49]

Wishing you a happy healthy 2018

[Kiera49 in reply to jessiejakes]

Thank you and you too

[Worrywort321 in reply to Kiera49]

Thank you for all the replies! Hoping you're all well and blessed xx

[Nanonano]

I know how you feel regarding your pet. Our boxer dog is growing old and really shows her age now. She sleeps such a lot and a visit to the vet today ended up in a biopsy of a lump she has on her side. I'm so scared it will show up as cancer. X

[Worrywort321 in reply to Nanonano]

I hope all is well xx wishing you much peace