another bump in the road

So ive been arguing all day with my partner about his alcoholic parents,his dads also on cocaine, they have 3 kids under 5's i've been there since they were born,i love them all like they were my own.i got to his parents about half 3 n there drinking 9percent ale, the eldest kids just got home from school she's 5 n the middle one had been home since lunch time shes 3, the youngest all day he's 2.

they already have social services making regular visits but they always let them know before they turn up so there playing happy familys on those days. all im saying is i cnt actually have his parents in my life anymore, i cant go there i've put up with it for 5yrs i cant do it anymore, i only ever get stressed when we see them n we only ever argue about them these days. they ask my patner for lifts to get drugs and ale so they can go back n smoke n drink around the kids,police were called twice last week...

it kills me not to see the kids but it hurts more to see there parents like that around them. nothing any1 can say or do will stop them.i cant make him choose,he has to see the kids, but i said i dnt trust him to go there without me because they wont listen tohim, they will nag for alift, his dad even threatened suicide because i said we wouldnt take him for a can last week. emotional blackmail to the max, he even threatens to leave the city (i wish he would) he's done it before but then my partner is gna be depressed if the kids go and so am i,even tho i cant see them anyway really because i cant cope around his parents, i dnt smoke neither does my partner were ex smokers and they just smoke allover us and there kids.there not horrible people they have deep routed issues, i of allpeople know they dont drink for nothing, but theres a time and place...

6 Replies

  • i wote this post because i feel anxtious about the situation,i cant sleep i feel like the bad person,sometimes i feel like im supposed to just deal with it ,but then im sure im not. i dnt drink, dnt smoke, dnt take drugs at all and i wont now,sowhy should i be forced to be around that?

  • Hi little mouse, I'm so very sorry that you find yourself torn with this situation, is there any way you can have the children with you for a while, perhaps it may help them to realise what they have been doing to themselves and making the children have to live that way. The parents obviously need help to get them out of this awful way they are living their lives but they both have to ask for help and of course they would worry that the children could be taken from them. I hope you find a way around this and are able to keep your relationship. All the best. X.

  • this is a very difficult situation and having had an alcoholic father I can understand your predicament. Is it possible for the kids to come and live with you at least for a while because they are the losers in all of this. I'm really sorry but I would also be phoning social services and suggesting an unanounced visi. I believe they can do this if it is felt that the children are being neglected.

    Hope things work out


  • Hi little :-) not a good situation to be in. My mum was an alcoholic from me being small, when my brother came along (who is 10 years younger than me) I was practically his mum. I saw how she treated him after drinking... That was 26 years ago and she still drinks to this day every night half litre of brandy (can't stand the smell of the stuff now). I even told her at one point I would call social services myself but got verbal abuse for it. Social services need to do something for the kids sake. It's no life for them what so ever and you are doing a great job being there for them. It will be hard on you and your partner...I'm now a care person for my mum and go to shops to buy her brandy...she's never changed in 30+ years she's not going to now. Sadly the kids won't know any different and drink n drugs can do strange things to social services tell them you are very concerned and was a visit that's not announced. Do it anonymously. Would you and your partner be able to take care of the kids for a week or two?? Maybe parents into rehab? Hope you get something sorted

  • Just an update - The children were taken into care nearly a year ago. The mum and dad are back on hard drugs (heroin and crack cocaine) no chance of getting the children back. we applied for the kids but were turned down due to past mental health and no longer see the kids . Luckily we have been told the parents are not aloud around our son so i dont have to deal with them anymore. and at least the kids will be getting looked after properly. I have a happy little boy of my own now, its just sad that he may never meet his aunties and uncle :(

  • Dear littlemouse,  I'm glad the children are safe now.  I am on the other side of the coin having had a foster child (who I adopted) who along with her 4 siblings, were taken out of their home because of parents who chose hard drugs over the children.  It is very sad.  I wish you well with your family and your happy little boy. How lucky he is to have a mother like  you.  Good Luck  x

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