I'm on Mirtazapine 30mg, and have had counselling twice. I've been struggling lately. I keep putting on weight as Mirtazapine increases my appetite and have to deal with making sure that my sugar level doesn't go low (I'm sure it's Mirtazapine doing it to me). I'm just struggling with the anxiety ruining my life.. I can't go for relaxing walks anymore, I can't go anywhere alone and I can't really go anywhere with my partner of 7 years. He's there for me as much as he could, and he's struggling with the pressure.. what with only him working, being there for me. We live with my parents (can't afford to move out, and my issues) and we're all getting on top of one another. He's staying over a friends over the weekend.. I was feeling okay and then BAM! I'm hit with a low mood. My self esteem is so low right now, I'm either crying or panicking. I don't ever feel 'here'.. my body is but my mind just isn't and my partner has noticed this. That I'm not always 'here'. I'm just tired of it all.. I feel drained physically and mentally. I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.. I mean I was able to head near town the other week and I felt great! I feel okay and then the next minute I feel sad or even suicidal at times.
I'm also constantly paranoid that my partner is going to find someone better.. someone that doesn't have issues like me and I get so jealous. It's not fair on my partner when he has been so helpful and is my rock.
I suppose my question being is.. how do you cope? What gets you through? Staying positive and strong can be so hard, but it must be done to get through.