Ok, I need help. To make a very long story short, I have overcame anxiety for the past 5 years of my life. I only really have anxiety about once a year (thankfully I have learned to cope with it at any other times without meds)
Well two weeks ago my boyfriend of 3 years who I have lived with for over 2.5 years (who I thought I was for sure going to marry) woke up one day and told me he wasnt happy anymore and left. Just like that. Packed his stuff and left and has been living with his guy friend.
To be honest I have been completely ok with everything. Yes, I cried a few times but he said really hurtful things about how I am lazy and Ive "let myself go" (due to gaining 8 pounds). I felt almost empowered by the breakup, I bought all new room decor (i have to stay in the house we lived in) I have honestly felt really good, like he almost did me a favor. I love with ALL of my heart and feel like im at the point in my life where I dont have time for people who dont value me (im 24)
Well, I was taking a shower about an hour ago and BAM, it hit me. Heart racing, bursts of crying out of nowhere. Panic attack, But why!! I was SO okay with this whole thing. I am so so scared that I will now start being depressed and anxious over this when I was coping so well the past two weeks. I look at where his toothbrush used to be and just cried and couldn't stop my heart from beating a mile a minute. I felt that if he wasn't here RIGHT now that I would surely jump out of own skin and run away forever. (btw I did have a cup of coffee and strong tea today dont know if the caffeine didnt help)
I guess my question is, do you think this is just because I am starting to see the sudden change in my life which is causing me anxiety (change in my life has always been the main cause of my anxiety spells) Do you think that I will be ok? Since I have been doing SO well with the breakup thus far, do you think this might have just been a sudden small panic attack just due to all the changes? I just do NOT want the anxiety to continue.