Hi everyone im new to this site feel quite relieved to see im not the only one. I find it hard to talk about my feelings and think i keep things bottled up too long so thought writing about it might be easier. i think i have always been a nervous/ anxious / shy person since i was a child. Would always try to get the day off school if i new i had to do something i didnt like. Then in my last years of secondary school i staterted having panic attacks and being sick so had quite a lot of time off school and then would worry about going back to school so my heart would race and feel dizzy. I started off worrying about silly things like going to the toilet at school we werent allowed to go to the toilet in lesson time and they locked the toilets so knowing that i wasnt allowed made me constanly feel like i needed a wee so started worrying about it and it got worse and worse. This then seemed to ruin my life as i constanly was thinking about going to the toilet and where they are when i would go out some where. Im 21 now and too me this sounds really silly i still think about it but im not as bad. As im quite a shy person i find it hard to talk to people and dont have many friends so dont go out much. i think my anxiety has been on and off for most off my life and had bad times when my grandad and dog died but i got through it. Even though i constantly worry about other people dying as i dont know how i will cope. when i was 18 i plucked up the courage to go to the doctors and she gave me some tablets for 6 months and i went to talk to someone once but didnt find it helpful as i didnt say much. so far i have managed to cope ok with my anxiety untill a few weeks ago i was in boots at the till paying and my heart started racing and i felt really dizzy. it just seemed to come on for no reason. now i cant go out without worrying it will happen again. i thought i was managing ok at work to untill last thursday afternoon my heart started racing and i felt dizzy all afternoon. Now im worried about going to work tomorrow. I have no idea why my anxiety has started again i feel really anxious like i could cry would rather just stay home. I am also constantly worrying that i need to do a first aid course for work and that is always on my mind as i think i would faint or work myself up too much. it has gotten so bad i am thinking about changing my job but then there is the worry of going somewhere new as i dont think i like change. I told my mum at the weekend that i thought my anxiety is getting worse but she just laughed at me and told me to stop being silly. I think at the moment anxiety is ruiling my life, i know i shouldnt let it but its so hard to not let it.
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